Catching Fire: Peeta's Story
by EscapeArtist25
Summary: I strongly suggest you read my other story, The Hunger Games in his POV before this one. But it's not completely necessary. I fill in the blanks, so you get the whole story. What Peeta went through, his thought process, his ideas.
1. The Celebration

It's cold today. Not that I could tell, the house I live in has plenty of heat. Back in the small, two bedroom apartment my family and I lived in above the bakery, we'd have to stuff aprons under the doors and in the windowsills to keep the cold air out. Heat was a luxury that almost no one in District 12 could afford. We never complained, though, it was all we knew. Now, if there's a crack in a windowsill, or if rain seeps in through the roof, I can get it fixed to where it's like nothing ever happened. I can afford that now.

As I stretch and look out the window, I see snow. Today is the day. The Victory tour starts today. These past six months, trying as they were, flew by like no time had passed at all. Six months I had, and I spent it drowning myself in my passion for baking. My father and Jacob continued the bakery in town, and that left the kitchen to me, for my own projects. Baking was the only thing I could do to completely lose myself and not think about things. It was my saving grace.

I get dressed and make sure my hair is combed the way I like and I head down to the kitchen to bake. I spend about an hour, making a few loaves, some of which I plan to drop off at Haymitch's before the train arrives to take us on our tour. The others I'll drop off with Greasy Sae, who I've found out had gotten some sponsors together for Katniss and I in the arena. I pledged to myself that I'd always make sure she had fresh bread in the mornings.

The walk to Haymitch's house from mine takes only about two minutes, but the wind in the air makes the cool weather feel colder, and by the time I make it to his door, my teeth are chattering. I tread lightly when I hear a commotion. I open the door, and Haymitch is sitting in a chair by his kitchen table, and he's soaking wet. Katniss has a bucket in her hand, and I know how she woke him now. I almost want to leave and come back later, but I'm going to have to see her at some point today anyway, so I may as well get the awkwardness over with now.

"You told me to wake you an hour before the cameras come." Katniss tells Haymitch. He rolls his eyes. "Why am I all wet?" He asks her, like he doesn't know. "I couldn't shake you awake. Look, if you wanted to be babied, you should have asked Peeta."

"Asked me what?" I say. I used to think her bluntness was admirable, and it was one of the reasons I respected her so much, but now it just makes me mad. We've barely spoken in six months, and she has the nerve to act like she knows me.

I cross over to the table and set the loaf of bread I baked for Haymitch on the table, and regardless of the now severed, barely-neighbors relationship Katniss and I have, I decide to offer her some too. "Would you like a piece." Then, I look at her for the first time in six months, and then those lost months replay in my mind- starting from the moment we stepped off that train, hand in hand:

Katniss and I get off the train, holding hands, for the cameras. Then, we are taken by car to the town square, where the Capitol has a celebration set up for us. There are red and black streamers, balloons, the works. The colors of our district and our district flag wave proudly over the town square with a gentle breeze. We are brought up on the stage in front of the Justice Center, and out in front of us is almost the entire district. The citizens of the winning district are not technically required to attend the celebration, but most do.

The crowd cheers for us and applauds until the mayor comes up to the microphone to speak. As the crowd goes silent in anticipation for the speech, I scan the crowd. I see my family. My father is standing tall, and looking directly at me. He catches my glance. He's got a smile on his face, and I know he is proud. My mother is pointing at me then back to herself as if people don't already know that she bore me. I can hear her now. "That's my son! My son won the Hunger Games! Well, you know, I knew it all along…"

My eldest brother, Jacob, stands next to my father and wears the same expression, almost like he's trying to hard to be happy for me. I don't expect much else from him, he's never been one to show any type of emotion. Riley, my other brother, is nodding his head up and down, and smiling at me as well. It brings a smile to my face then, after the situation I'd just been through, seeing my family there waiting for me, waiting for the celebration to be over so they could embrace me with open arms.

To their right, I see Primrose, Katniss' sister. Prim couldn't be more happy, she's crying tears of joy while holding what appears to be a stray cat. Prim is cradling the cat and petting it and it seems to be no stranger to her arms, but it's a mangy looking thing. It's just like Prim to care for an animal no matter what situation it came from. I've got a strong feeling that Prim will carry on in her mother's footsteps and become an apothecary.

But perhaps the best thing I've seen all day, is Katniss' mother. The woman who stared into the distance, in too much pain to try and go on with life after losing her husband. She was _smiling,_ and she actually looked like she was _here,_ in the square, with the rest of the citizens. Katniss' mother had come back from her depression. She holds one of Prim's hand in hers, then she waves discreetly at me with her other hand when she notices me watching them.

There is one face that I don't see, and that is of Gale. I scan the crowd over and over again, and even look in the far corners, figuring he might want to be out of the public eye, but after awhile, I realize that Gale did not come to the celebration. Katniss seems to notice this, too. She isn't looking amongst the crowd the way I am, she isn't looking to them mayor the way the crowd is. No, Katniss is looking west, where the sun is beginning to set over the horizon, and the shadows of the forest where she and Gale once spent a lot of time, dance in the fading sunlight.

"Welcome all, to the 74th annual Hunger Games Victor's celebration!" The crowd cheers.

"I don't have to tell you that this year is special." Still, he tells them anyway. "District 12 hasn't seen a victor since Haymitch Abernathy, some twenty-four years ago. And this year, we have not one," he says, while grabbing Katniss' arm and raising it into the air. "But _two_ victors!" He says, raising my arm as well.

"The Capitol has provided us with a feast! The first of many gifts to come to the winning district. It is my job now to thank the victors, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, for the extraordinary honor they have bestowed upon our district." The crowd cheers again.

Music begins to play, and the mayor leads us all in the national anthem of Panem. When it's over, he shouts, "Let the festivities begin!"

The "feast" provided to the district is nothing compared to the food we were eating on the train and in the Capitol, but it's much more than someone living here could hope for. Every household in District 12 was shipped a care package from the Capitol after we were announced the winners in the arena. These care packages had three bags of flour to bake bread, which, if used sparingly, could last three months. The packages also had a year's supply of oil, matches, health salves, tonics, other weak medicines, water purifying iodine, and a small bag of candy if the household had any children. Might as well start brainwashing these kids while they're young. "Send someone to die, get candy."

Hours go by. There's music and dancing and lights everywhere. People are free to come and go as they please, but the mayor, Katniss, and I are required to stay until at least midnight. After making small talk with Peacekeepers and the mayor and other town officiates that we'd really rather not talk to, the both of us were counting down the time where we could go home and reflect on everything. We need time to ourselves, we need time with our families, and we need time to regain our sanity before the Victory Tour six months from now.

The Capitol plans it that way. The actual Hunger Games last only about a week or two, depending on other factors. But with the reapings, the training, the interviews, and the Games, it's about a two month time stretch. Then, six months later, the winning candidate goes to each and every district, it's called The Victory Tour. Though I think "The Shame Tour" is a more proper name for it.

My stomach flips everytime I think about the fact that I am going to have to stand up in front of eleven other districts and talk about how great the Capitol is and how good it feels to be a victor and a whole bunch of other lies I'm going to be fed, all while looking into the eyes of the parents whose children were lost in the games. I can't imagine the pain they're in right now, and the Capitol is sure to keep it fresh in their minds with the victory tour.

Finally, midnight comes, and the mayor escorts Katniss' family and my family to the Victor's Village, where we'll be living from now on. I've been here before, but I never thought I'd actually get to step foot inside one of these huge, gorgeous houses. The mayor stops in front of two. They are identical, a tan color on the outside, with white shutters. There is a porch, with a small front yard, and then the door to the three- story house. The mayor presents Katniss and I each with a separate key, to our houses.

As the key is dropped into my hand, I thank the mayor and turn towards my house, immediately walking towards it, not acknowledging the glance I feel on me from Katniss. I know she wants to say something, anything, to ease the situation. Not because of me, but just for the sake of peace. I can't allow her to do that, though. If she wants things the way they were, I've got six months to get over her before the Victory Tour.

Walking inside the house, my mother lets out a small shriek, then pushes past me to examine every piece of furniture. There are suede white couches, all the seats recline, and it's sitting in front of a huge television. To the left of the couches and television, is a gorgeous hand crafted fireplace and mantle. The kitchen is big enough to run the bakery just out of it, but of course we'd still keep the bakery we've already got. There is a bathroom downstairs, some storage under the staircase, then each of the two floors above the staircase contain a small common area, two bedrooms, and a bathroom.

This is the first time in my life that I can actually go into my chosen room, which is, of course, the master, and shut the door, and lock myself away. It gives me peace knowing this is where I'll find solitude. This is where I'll find myself again. This is where I'll drag myself back into the reality that Katniss and I are opposites in every way, and it's best that we don't speak much, no matter how much it kills me.


	2. The Reconciliation

Katniss declines my offer. "No, I ate at the Hob, but thank you."

"You're welcome." I say back.

Since we got back to the district, the few times that we actually spoke, it was like we were speaking to a doctor, or to a Peacekeeper, or to someone professional. You'd never be able to tell that we'd made it threw the Hunger Games together by the way we acted: cold. But she doesn't seem to mind, and I've gotten to the point where it really doesn't bother me anymore, either. But Haymitch doesn't like it. I can tell.

"Brr. You two have got a lot of warming up to do before showtime." That's right. Showtime. Katniss and I are going to have to act like everything is just fine, like we're "in love". The audience doesn't know things are different here in the district, and if it weren't for the Capitol being upset with Katniss for the berries, I probably wouldn't care if they knew the truth.

Katniss rolls her eyes at Haymitch and tells him to bathe. She doesn't even glance at me after that, she just swings out the window and drops to the ground. I go to the window and watch Katniss run across the grass to her house, where her mother and Prim now live. Gale doesn't show up a whole lot, so I don't know what is going on with them, and I don't want to know.

"She'll come around." I'm surprised to hear Haymitch speak to me in a serious tone. Normally it's either a drunken slur or a crude joke.

"What?"

"Katniss. She cares about you, I saw it in the games. The whole country believes you're _both _in love, and Katniss is a horrible liar."

"She doesn't love me."

"Maybe not, but there's more there than she is letting on."

"Why then? Why has she ignored me?"

"She feels forced. If you were forced by a death threat to love someone, it wouldn't be real love, would it?"

I don't say anything. I don't know if it's because Haymitch doesn't know what the hell he's talking about, or if it's because he is right and I don't want to believe it. I just kick an alcohol bottle out of my way when I walk out the door.

When I get home, I'm greeted by Portia and my prep team. My mother sits on one couch and Portia on another, and they've got tea in their hands. My mother has probably been charming Portia like she does with everyone else in town. She has to keep up appearances. "Oh, Peeta! So wonderful to see you once again! This tour will be so exciting, and I just can't wait to hear more about you and Katniss!" I wince.

"Something wrong?" She asks me. I want to say yes. I want to say "Well actually, yeah, just about everything is wrong. This tour is fake, Katniss and I are barely even acquaintances, in fact, she's been ignoring me. Six months ago I went through hell and wound up with an artificial limb, and now we have to look into the eyes of the families whose children we killed." I especially apprehensive about District 5.

In the Hunger Games, I'd killed two people. The girl from 8, and the girl from 5, Foxface. With the girl from 8 though, it was a mercy kill. I hadn't hurt her, I gave her peace. But with Foxface, I _killed _her. It may have been accidental, but still, they won't see it that way.

My mother saves the day and answers Portia. "No, nothing wrong at all, other than his eyebrows of course." Portia buys into it and acknowledges just how bushy they've gotten. "Oh my, yes. Go on upstairs and the rest of the team will prep you, and I'll be up shortly."

I didn't tell my mother that we weren't really speaking, but I'm sure she's picked it up somewhere, gossipy as she is. I trudge up the stairs, regretting the next hour that it will take to get me ready for the cameras. I am not looking forward to this.

While they pluck my eyebrows, clear polish my nails, try to cover up my scars, and trim my hair, my prep team can't stop talking about the Quarter Quell. "Remember last time?" Says one.

"Oh yes, the one that that drunk guy won?"

"Haymitch." I correct them.

"Yes, Haymitch. He beat out double the amount of tributes. I was just a little girl, but it was exciting to watch."

I can't help but think little girls shouldn't watch things like that. It's why everyone in the Capitol is so excited about the games. They don't really see children dying, on tv, it's different.

I, however, am the only one in the room _not _looking forward to the Quarter Quell. More tributes dying? That's no reason to celebrate. And it bothers me that no one has any idea what kind of a spin they are going to put on the games this year.

An hour or so later, Portia tells me that the camera crew is waiting outside for me. It's cold out, so Portia gives me a coat that resembles the shirt of the outfit I wore for the interview before the Games. "Okay, Peeta. You look stunning. Let's go make an impression!" She says, a little too happily.

I open my front door and take a deep breath. This is where the acting begins. This is where I have to pretend like we're still back in that cave, not strangers in District 12. But the cameras have never been a problem for me. I'm still not happy with Katniss at all, but I'm sure I'll know exactly what to do when Panem's eyes are on us.

She sees me, and takes a deep breath as well. Then she looks to the cameras, then smiles when she looks back at me. She starts running towards me, and then she is in my arms, and I'm swinging her around before I slip and fall on the ice, Katniss going down with me. On top of me, her hair falls down beside her face, and she kisses me then. The camera is on us, of course, which is why I knew exactly what to do. But her hair shields the kiss from the camera.

For a fraction of a second, she stops, and she looks different, like, carefree. It's a way I don't think I've ever seen her. And I can't tell why. Then the look of worry that the Capitol is causing returns, and she's on her feet helping me up as well. We walk with linked arms to the train, and it very much reminded me of the first day we ever stepped on a train, to go the Capitol. But this time, that's not where we're going.

Haymitch joins us in the dining car from the bar car, and no one looks up because we've all just gotten so used to it. It drives me crazy but I think Katniss finds his drunkenness amusing. I shouldn't care though, I shouldn't pay this much attention to her, I don't want to go back to how I was. The rest of the night is a blur, as I make an effort to look only occasionally at Effie, Haymitch, and our stylists, and I don't look at Katniss at all. Then when we're finished, I get up without excusing myself, and while I'm walking to my room, I hear her mumble something about bad manners. I don't care.

It makes me slightly happier when I remember the incredible showers on this train. Immediately after shutting my door I strip, and hop in, pressing "90 degrees" and "Oscillate".

As the water falls over my head like rain, I bow my head and shut my eyes, listening to it fall to the floor. I remember what Haymitch told me earlier this morning, about Katniss being "forced" to care for me. I guess I can see what he means. About it not being real love if it's forced. But she wasn't forced in the cave to show me affection. And I'm not talking about the kissing, because that was for sponsors, things we needed. I'm talking about the things she did that actually showed me she cared. She looked deep into my eyes, she communicated with me in the way friends do, and she smiled. I haven't seen that smile in a long time. Too long. I shake my head and try to force myself to think about anything else. So I think about Haymitch.

Haymitch wasn't always a drunk, he once won his games, and I have no idea how. He's a smart guy, but I'm curious as to what his strategy was. I keep trying to get him to tell me, but I don't ever want to ask directly. Whatever he went through, I'm sure that's what sparked his drinking problem, and I don't want him to have to relive it.

I stay in the shower until my fingers are pruny, then I dress in a very comfortable cotton robe left just for me. It's black and has blue and yellow flames on the sleeves. I go towards my window when the stars catch my eye. It's pitch black outside the window, but the heavens are bright tonight. The moon is full, and out here, away from the pollution of the districts, the stars are numerous and much brighter. But then I'm interrupted by a sudden jolt, we're stopping for fuel.

I'm still looking at the sky when we pull up to the fuel station. There is one single light, and it flickers on and off. When it goes off, I see two shadowy figures walking along the tracks, and it takes everything I have not to remember the day on the tracks six months ago.

When the light comes on, the figures are Haymitch and Katniss. She looks worried as she's talking to him, and he does the best he can to try and give her advice. It bothers me that they are telling secrets again. Am I not a part of this Capitol thing too? Do they think I can't handle it, whatever it is? After a minute or so, Haymitch stumbles back inside, but she stays there, looking down. Then she looks at my window. The windows are coated so you can't see in, but I can see out. She looks directly at my window, and I know whatever they were talking about, included me. If one of them doesn't let me in on what's going on, I'll just go and ask Katniss directly. I'm tired of them hiding things from me.

Today I wake up, not having slept very well last night. I couldn't sleep for hours, being too upset with Haymitch and Katniss and worrying about what they are hiding from me this time. Then I must have tossed and turned all night, because I was tangled up in my sheet when I woke up.

Today is a travel day, so I can do whatever I like. Effie requests only that I join the rest of them for meals, and when she woke me up by knocking at my door, she told me it was lunch time. I sit at the table with everyone else, and I can tell Katniss has been up all morning and didn't sleep well last night either. There are bags under her eyes, and she's just moving food from one side of the plate to the other with her fork, not looking up.

I wait for one of them to tell me _something, _but it doesn't happen, as I thought. I focus on the conversation between Effie and the stylists to keep my mind from wandering. Katniss doesn't say a word until the train breaks down. We're told it will take an hour to fix, and Effie immediately begins trying to move things around on her schedule, complaining about there not being enough hours in a day, when Katniss yells, "No one cares Effie!".

Everyone at the table drops what they're doing and looks at her, including myself. I scowl at her. If she would talk to me about whatever this is, maybe she wouldn't lash out at Effie when Effie is just being… Effie. "Well, no one does!" That's true, but to say it is unnecessary, and mean.

Katniss doesn't hesitate to leave. She slams the door open and hops outside. Everyone looks at me when she leaves, except Haymitch. He is looking at his plate, like he doesn't want to be involved, but the rest of them still think we're "in love". And if I don't go after her, what does that say to them? "I'll get her." I say, excusing myself as I walk out the door.

She's already pretty far ahead of me, but I'm taller, so I take more and longer strides and I'm right on her feet in no time. When she hears footsteps, she turns around. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture." Well, you need one. I have to play nice though. If I act like a jerk, she won't ever tell me anything. "I'll try to keep it brief." She plops down on the grass and starts pulling blades up. "I thought you were Haymitch" she says. Yeah, right. Like Haymitch could even walk this far without falling over.

"No. He's still working on that muffin." I take a seat beside her and mess with my artificial leg. I have to draw her in to tell me, so I say "Bad day, huh?"

"It's nothing." I look into the distance now. Of course that's what she says. I'm tired of this. I take a deep breath then realize maybe she doesn't trust me because of the way I acted on the train when we came home. I shut her out. It was to protect myself from being hurt anymore, but maybe that's why she feels like she's in this alone. I decide to tell her that I am sorry. "Look, Katniss. I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. The last train. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

As I say the words, they actually make sense. Maybe I was more upset with myself for making something into more than it actually was. I _did_ know that she and Gale were close, and I _was _extremely jealous that it wasn't me. I was the one who admitted to the country that I loved her, and that actually put a responsibility on her shoulders to get us sponsors.

Suddenly I feel like a jerk for the way I've been acting. I watch her expression, but it's blank. I can't ever read her. I tell myself that I have to act different. I'll start acting like the old Peeta, but I'll have to be sure I stay distant enough so that I don't fall for her again. "I'm sorry too." This takes me by surprise. What is she sorry for?

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life then falling into the snow every time there's a camera around." I tell her that I admitted to her that I was sorry so that maybe, we could be friends. She says only, "Okay." And I'm wondering what she is thinking when she says it.

"So what's wrong?" I try again. She keeps pulling at the grass, then, she notices some weeds and begins to pull at them. The silence is uncomfortable, so instead I ask a simple question. "Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life for mine but I don't know what you're favorite color is?"

"Green."

"Orange." She smiles. "Like Effie's hair?" She is trying not to laugh at her comment, but I wish she would just go ahead. "A bit more muted, like sunset." I think for a moment that Riley would laugh at me to no end about that. Katniss mentions that she hasn't seen my paintings. "Well, I have a whole train car full," I tell her, and hold out my hand. "Come on."


	3. The Ignition

I really just held out my hand to help her up, but then she entwined her fingers with mine, and I found I couldn't pull my hand away. So we walked like this, hand-in-hand, back to the train. We didn't say anything, but nothing needed to be said.

Katniss' hand leaves mine, and she tells me, "I need to apologize to Effie first."

"Don't be afraid to lay it on a little thick," I say. When we get back to the dining car, Effie is still sitting in her chair, fidgetting, while twirling a pen in her fingers. She notices us come in, and looks up, but then quickly moves her glance back down to her schedule, as she chews on the end of her pen, nervously.

I stand there with my arms folded as Katniss walks over to Effie. "Effie, I'm sorry I yelled." Effie just shakes her head. Katniss rests her hand on Effie's shoulder. "No, really, I am. None of this is your fault, I was just upset and you were in the line of fire." When Effie meets Katniss' gaze, she smiles, and Katniss smiles back, and I'm surprised at how well Katniss is handling this. Then I remind myself that she fooled me, too. She's an actress, whether she tries to be or not.

Effie doesn't seem entirely over it, but she lets Katniss know that she understands how stressful it is, and that she holds no hard feelings. "I know you're under pressure, but it really is important that _someone_ care about the schedule, you know. We could be late to one district, and it would just throw _everything _off course." Katniss nods. "I know." Effie pat's Katniss' hand, that is still on her shoulder, and Katniss joins me again.

"So what kind of things have you been painting?"

"Oh, you know. This and that." I don't necessarily intend to play down what I've painted, but I can't bring myself to tell her, I want her to see them. I open the door to my room, and I put a hand out in front of me, letting her go inside first. She walks into the center of the room and stops. I stand in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms folded again.

The room is quiet. At first, she looks slowly to her left, then her right, acknowledging each and every one. Then, she moves slowly to one of the paintings I did of her, and she brushes her fingers delicately over the artwork.

"What do you think?"

"I hate them. All I do is go around trying to forget the arena, and you've brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?"

"I see them every night."

I wait for her to ask me to elaborate, but her eyes trail off, and I can tell she seems them just like I do- in her sleep. Nightmares. And not regular nightmares- these don't go away. They leave you sweating, panting, tossing and turning all night. The screams woke my family when I was home, and every morning I'd wake up, feeling like _home_ was the dream, and in reality, I was still back there. It's hell.

"Me too," she says. "Does it help to paint them out?"

"I don't know. I think I'm a little less afraid to go to sleep at night. Or at least I tell myself I am. But they haven't gone anywhere."

Katniss nods her head.

"Maybe they won't. Haymitch's haven't."

"No, but for me, it's better to wake up with a paintbrush than a knife in my hand. So you really hate them?"

"Yes. But they're extraordinary, really."

She admires my work, she just doesn't like that it reminds her of a time she'd rather forget.

"Want to see my talent? Cinna did a great job on it." Oh yes, that's right. Every now and then the Capitol will run a "Victor's special", where they interview previous winners and ask them about their lives. All of them develop some kind of talent, but it isn't always because they enjoy doing what they do, like me. Some have to. It's the Capitol's way of getting people to think that everything is okay and life goes on wonderfully for a victor. It doesn't.

I tell her that I'd love to see it later, even though it's really more Cinna's talent than hers. She isn't talent less, but her hunting skills and incredible intelligence aren't Capitol-approved. When I realize that the barren desert outside the window is now becoming lush with greenery, I realize that we must be nearing District 11, and I tell Katniss to follow me to the back of the train. The very last car's windows form into the ceiling, so you can climb up them and ride on the outside of the train.

I put my hands on the roof, and pull myself up first, then I put my hands down, and help her up. She sits next to me just as District 11 is coming into view in the distance. All my life, I've cursed the fact that we were born in such an impoverished district. Why couldn't we have been born in 1? Or 4? Or even 8? Then I realize, District 12 is practically a playground compared to this. Their electrified fences are manned with guards everywhere you look, and these guards look _mean._ They look like they wouldn't hesitate to take someone's life, but no one in their right mind would go within sixty yards of that fence.

The fence is absolutely huge, it's bars are thicker, it's barbed wire needles longer, and all of the grass around it is dead, a symbol of the high voltage pulsing through it.

Our train gets closer, and now we see the crops. District 11: Agriculture. I do my best not to think of Rue working out in these fields. The sun is high in the sky, and the people look exhausted, dehydrated, and overworked. Houses begin to come into view, and compared to these, the Seam is like the Victor's village. They look like they're barely being held together. Most of the roofs are caved in, the porches are caved in, and they are small enough to fit at the most, a family of two, yet I get the feeling they're more crowded than that.

I ask Katniss how many people live here, but I don't think she knows. Either way, she doesn't answer me. She sits with her knees to her chest, staring into the District, probably thinking of Rue. "There you are! I don't think you two should just be running off that way! We don't want to get behind schedule!" She says, tapping her watch with her finger. Katniss says nothing, and shows no expression whatsoever. She spins around and hops down into the car and disappears out of sight, on her way back to her room.

Portia has set my clothing out for me, and she tells me I'll be matching Katniss. I button up the white pants, and button down the pastel orange shirt. I'm glad it doesn't stand out as much as the orange hue of Effie's wig. Portia combs my hair and pats my face, "Handsome." She tells me. "Go show them what a victor looks like." She smiles at me and walks out of the room, and leaves the door open, for me to follow.

The train has come to a stop, and Effie and I sit in the front car, where we'll step foot into another district for the first time ever. We wait for Katniss, and I realize that I don't want to see her when she comes out. Cinna is a genius with fashion, and if she looks the way that he told her she'd look on the Victory Tour, I may stop breathing.

She comes out of her room, Cinna by her side, smiling, proud of his work. She's wearing a gorgeous orange dress. The hue of orange is like the type I described to her in the sunset. My favorite color. It fades down, and the bottom of the dress, which sits slightly above her knees, is almost a yellow. Across the collarbone, the dress has embroidered autumn leaves, they look to be falling down one side, and they stop at her waist. Her hair is down, and wavy, and her cheeks are bronze-colored, perfectly matched to the dress. Her eyelashes are black with orange glitter on the innermost ones, and her lips are a pinkish orange. "What?" She asks me, and I quickly turn away, saying, "I like the leaves."

Haymitch slaps the back of my head. I put my hand on it while I turn around. "Um, Ouch!" He gives me a look. Oh, we are still supposed to maintain the image that we aren't just friends, and I realize I'm supposed to say she looks pretty. Well, she does. But I honestly don't think she wants to hear it, and I don't want to say it for fear it might bring back those feelings I had before, but I manage to muster up, "You look great." Which isn't the best compliment in the world, but it will do. And I was right, she quickly turns the attention to Haymitch. "Make sure you're sober enough to shake the mayor's hand." "Don't worry about that, sweetheart."

We have to go through the poor part of the center of District 11, to get to their Hall of Justice. I do my best to wave at everyone and still not look directly at their faces. I feel bad for being healthy and well provided for by the Capitol when these people barely get by. Katniss doesn't wave, or even greet anyone really, but it isn't her style. I still catch her smiling and nodding to the children that we pass by when they wave to her or point at us.

Effie calls this the verandah. It's an area in front of their Hall of Justice, in the center of town. I look around and realize that what we passed on the way there wasn't the poor part of town. This is. There are run down shops surrounding the humongous square, but all of them look abandoned. There are homeless everywhere, and even homeless _children_. I even catch Capitol-bred Effie look down and shake her head when she sees a hungry child digging through the trash. She isn't all bad.

We aren't allowed to wave or socialize with any citizen once we get out of the armored truck we were taken here in. Peacekeepers hurry us inside so fast that I swear not even two minutes goes by from the time we got out of the truck to the time when the mayor announces our names, and Katniss turns her head to me. She looks, scared. I look down at her hand, and she grabs mine first. This is when I notice she's wearing the gold mocking jay pin she's so fond of.

The doors burst open, and then the look of fear and loathing and guilt leaves Katniss' eyes, and is replaced with a look of content. Her frown turns into a smile, and we step out onto the stage in front of hundreds of residents, waving. My eyes aren't on them for long, though, as I see a small girl, with a tiny frame, and an innocent smile, who looks exactly like Rue. This is Rue's family I am looking at. I do the best I can to give them a look that tells them how sorry I am that Rue isn't here anymore.

After the mayor's speech, two girls come up, and each one hands Katniss and I a bouquet of fresh flowers. I smell the flowers, and crouch down to meet her at eye-level. "These smell just as good as I did in my interview before the Games." She laughs because she remembers. "They're beautiful, just like you are. Thank you." Then I give her a hug and she runs back down to the crowd. She couldn't have been more than seven, and I am afraid of the fact that there is a slight chance I'll see the girl again- in the Capitol on a television screen, preparing for the Games.

Katniss doesn't have to act with the girl that gave her her flowers. The girl hands her flowers to Katniss, and she gladly takes them and gives the girl a genuine smile. The girl then points to her shoulder, and I see that she's made a mocking jay pin, identical to the one Katniss wears on her shoulder, made from twigs and straw. The girl must be good with a knife, because the craftsmanship on it is incredible. "My brother made it." She says, pointing to her brother. He's a big guy, resembling Thresh in size, but looks different. He has a cold look on his face, but his anger isn't directed at us, it's at the cameras that are looking into the crowd. His angry expression leaves his face when his sister calls his name, and smiles at her, and then at us.

It pains me to see it. The girl, who has gone back to her family, is being harassed by a Peacekeeper, who ends up taking her pin. Her brother calms her down and wipes her eyes, and his lips move in such a way that I know he says, "I'll make you another." Katniss doesn't notice it, as she's reciting a memorized card that she'd been given, on what to say, that was, of course, Capitol-approved. Then, it's my turn.

We are so happy to be here, amongst you, as a genuine symbol of the Capitol's compassion and

Forgiveness. And though both of your tributes perished in the arena, know that

It wasn't in vain, and they brought pride to you and your district, as well as the whole of Panem.

That's all that was on my card, but I could, in no way, leave it like that. The words I was saying tasted like vomit in my mouth, and made me sick. I couldn't tell them I think what I just said was given to me by the Capitol, and that it is, quite frankly, a bunch of bullshit. So instead, I add something, that wouldn't be Capitol approved. What can they do? Kill me? Nah, that would make them look bad.

"It can in no way replace your losses,

But as a token of our thanks, we'd like for each of the tributes' families

From District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration

Of their lives."

The crowd goes silent. I hear gasps, but that's all. I look at Katniss then, and smile in the best way that I can in this moment. She has a look of utter shock on her face. Her jaw is slightly dropped, parting her lips slightly, and she's looking at me like she can't believe I did that. She rises up on her tip toes to kiss me. It feels real, just as real as the kiss in the cave, but I don't let myself dwell on it. I remind myself that this is an act. A necessary one, but still, an act.

The mayor steps forward to hand us our plaques, and they are made of bronze and silver, and extremely heavy. We hold them to our chests and smile while the cameras are on us. Katniss stops smiling when I look at her again, and she's looking at Rue's younger sister, who looks upset. Katniss looks down, thinking about something. Debating something. And I am afraid that she is going to do or say something that will piss off the Capitol, so I think about lunging forward and kissing her before she has a chance to, but it's too late. "Wait!"

"I want to thank the tributes of District Eleven. I only ever spoke to Thresh one time, Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power, for his refusal to play the games on anyone's terms but his own. The Careers wanted him to join them from the start, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that."

An elderly woman hunched over has a tear in her eye, and a smile on her face, and someone else, who looks to be her granddaughter, maybe Thresh's older sister, is holding onto her. She mouths the words "Thank you," to Katniss, and Katniss smiles and nods.

I could stop her now, before she _really _gets on the Capitol's bad side, but I can't allow the horrible things Rue had been put through to go unsaid. Someone needs to say something about Rue, and it needs to be Katniss.

"But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she will always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to my mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the meadow by my house, I see her in the Mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim. Thank you for your children. And thank you all for the bread."

I hear a whistle, and I recognize it. When I was lying in the riverbank, I heard it, but didn't know what it was, I figured they'd just picked it up somewhere. But now I know, it was Rue's whistle. I follow Katniss' eyes to an elderly man standing alone in the back of the crowd, and her eyes meet his. Then what happens next nearly moves me to tears. Every single person in the crowd, gives the three fingered signal to us. It is a way in District 12 to say "I respect you" Or "Thank you."

The mayor hurriedly comes back onto the stage. He's pressing his fingers to his earpiece.

Now I am supposed to pretend I'm completely oblivious to the dangers we currently face in the Capitol. I may not know exactly what is going on, as I have only the information she told me on the train when we got back to District 12, and nothing more. I still don't know what she and Haymitch are discussing in private, but I am not stupid. I know something is up, and I know her, and my, every move is being watched. I just, I need her to tell me, because _she_ wants to.

So when I lead her back into the building, I ask her what is wrong. And again, she doesn't tell me. She makes up an excuse. She says she forgot her flowers, I think so that I'd leave her alone for a minute. I play along and I go get them, and when the doors are open, what I see is a complete massacre.


	4. The Blowup

My heart stops in terror as I see the elderly man who whistled shot in the head, in front of the crowd. Children are screaming and holding on to their mothers, some people are scrambling to leave, and others stand perfectly still, a look of utter hatred for the peacekeepers in their eyes.

I shake my head to bring myself back into focus. I need to get to Katniss. If she didn't see anything, I've got to get her out of here before she hears the commotion, and if she did see it, well, I just have to get to her. I turn around and run back, and there is a peacekeeper whose got her held up against a wall. Without thinking, I shove him off, and put my arm around her, and tell him we're leaving. He could have shot me. I put my hands on him, but he just points his gun at us and follows us back inside.

Effie, Cinna, and Portia have worried expressions, but I decide not to say anything, and I don't think Katniss can. Her face is pale, and looks nothing like the girl on the train, it's like she left her body. While Effie is flipping out, I do the best I can to calm everyone down by lying, and saying it was a car backfiring, but then two more shots were fired, which snaps Katniss out of her shock, and she pushes my arm off of her. There is no mistaking the sounds this time. Haymitch looks like he's actually sober. The shots must have sobered him up quite a bit. "With me." He says, and neither of us argue, we follow Haymitch.

Haymitch remembers this place, which is remarkable, since it's been nearly twenty-five years, but he knows every nook and cranny of this place. So when we end up in a large, dusty dome of the Justice Hall, I know it's safe. It's hidden from Capitol eyes and ears. "What happened!"

"After Katniss' speech, an elderly man whistled the note that belonged to Rue, then the crowd gave us the three finger salute. We were rushed inside the building, and Katniss forgot her flowers, I went back to get them, and we saw the peacekeepers shoot the man in the head, then one of them pushed her against a wall, I shoved him, and got her into the room where all of you were."

It occurs to me that the danger we are in must be way worse than I previously thought, and I have renewed anger with both of them for not telling me. I feel like their puppet, just like I was the Capitol's puppet, and I'm upset now. "What's going on?" I demand. And this time, I'm not going to wait for them to fill me in. Someone is going to tell me what is going on. Right now.

Haymitch tells Katniss it will be better coming from her. I knew she was the one keeping it from me. She still doesn't want to tell me, but Haymitch glares at her and she takes a deep breath before telling me that President Snow threatened her at her house. He actually came in to her house, and had the nerve to threaten her, her family, Gale, Gale's family, and me and my family. He said it started with the berry stunt we pulled-she pulled- in the arena. She showed them up. Then she tells me that there have been uprisings in some of the districts. President Snow needs her to pretend to be head over heels in love with me, or she'll lose everyone that she _really_ loves.

Katniss tells me that the Capitol is watching her closely. And when I ask how, I immediately wish I hadn't. "Because, because…" she hesitates. "…President Snow knew that Gale kissed me." I shook my head. "He kissed you?" I didn't believe it, though I don't know why. It shouldn't surprise me at all. "In the hob. It came out of nowhere, he just, did it." I want to ask more about it, but then I'll give the impression that it bothers me. I have to not let it bother me.

I realize that I made everything worse by offering the winnings to the district 11 families of Thresh and Rue. I punch an already broken lamp instinctively. How could they not tell me this, it's one thing to hide it from me because I'm "Already there" as Haymitch put it when it comes to the whole star-crossed lovers thing, but this? I made it worse, and it wasn't my fault. It was because they were too selfish to tell me. I lash out with my words at both of them. I tell them that this game they play needs to stop, right now.

"It's not like that Peeta," she tries to tell me. And she looks hurt that I am shouting at her the way I am, but she has to know that this hurts me too. "It's exactly like that! I have people I care about too Katniss! After all we went through in the arena, don't I at least deserve the truth from you!"

"You're always so reliably good, Peeta," Haymitch says, trying, and failing to calm me down. I wish he weren't her. He's a part of this, but I don't want him to see me letting my anger get the best of me, and for some reason, I don't want him seeing Katniss and I arguing, but, I don't really know why.

I think "Shut up Haymitch!" Would suffice, but instead, I begin spewing my anger at him now. "Well, you really overestimated me. Because I really screwed things up today. What do you think is going to happen to Rue and Thresh's families? Do you think I gave them a bright future? Because I think they'll be lucky if they survive the day!"

A statue flies across the room, and shatters pretty close to Haymitch's feet. He jumps away from it. Then I realize I threw it. I have got to calm down. Katniss tells Haymitch that I am right, which actually, brings me down a notch. It's strange to hear her agree with me. "Even in the arena, you two had some sort of system worked out, didn't you?" I'm still shouting, but at least I'm in better control now.

She told me that she could sort of "read" Haymitch, based on what he sent her, of what he wanted her to do. "Well, I never had that opportunity, because he didn't send me anything until you showed up." I shouldn't have said that, because, actually, that was the agreement. I'd do what I could to keep her alive in the arena. It was my idea. But he could've sent me something to make it easier. Like something for the pain, at least.

"Look, boy-"

"Don't bother Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we're very good. We all know I'm better than Katniss in front of the cameras, no one needs to coach me on what to say. But I have to know what I'm walking into."

"From now on, you'll be fully informed." says Haymitch.

I don't bother to give either of them one glance before I storm out. I have to be alone now.

I don't know how, having never been here before, but somehow I managed to find my way up to the roof of the building. I kicked a rock off the roof, and it was satisfying to watch it fall to the ground below. On the roof of the training center, it would just bounce back off the force field. It's freeing, being up here. It helps me put things into perspective.

The roof is mostly flat, so I sit on the ledge with my feet dangling off. I swing them back and forth for awhile, letting the tears flow out of my eyes, and watching them fall to the ground below, landing in a small patch of grass and disappearing. Today was supposed to be happy. Well, not _happy._ But it shouldn't have gone down the way it did. I feel slightly guilty for yelling at them the way I did. Still, it bothers me. Their decision to leave me out ultimately led to my hand in someone else's death, and I can't shake that.

The sun sets, and I remember the time. I'm supposed to be at dinner downstairs with town representatives in the hall of justice in thirty minutes. Portia is probably pacing back and forth outside my room waiting for me to show up to get dressed and ready, but I don't care. And she won't find me up here. If I don't look presentable at dinner, oh well.

I do have to be there, though, or we'll be in more trouble. I don't know how I can go back to acting super sweet and in love and all of that when I'm so mad though. I will stay up here as long as I can to clear my head and prepare for the cameras.

I hear footsteps behind me. And I know it isn't Portia. My first thought is that it's Katniss. But after how I acted, she's probably just as pissed at me as I am with her. I turn and see Haymitch. "What do you want?" He sits next to me, and dangles his legs over the edge like I do. He hands me his flask. I push it away.

"One drink won't kill you. It will make it easier to ignore the anger and fool the cameras."

I realize that I actually do want a drink. I take one swig, then two more. We sit in silence for five minutes, and my head is slightly foggy, so I hand the flask back.

"You were out of line, boy."

"Concerning what?"

"Not so much a 'what' as a 'who.'"

"Katniss? Or you?"

"Both. But I don't care. She does." I laugh.

"She's got a whole lot of things she's dealing with, Peeta. She's got nightmares just like you do. I hear her tossing and turning every night. I hear her waking up screaming. President Snow threatened _her_, not you. He went to _her_ house, not yours. _She's _the one who can't decide how she feels for you because the Capitol is telling her how to feel." I nod my head. It makes sense.

"Think about it. She's got the nightmares, the tour, the threat, the guilt with Rue, she has to be strong for Prim and her mom, she's got you and Gale to deal with. No matter what she does, one of you isn't happy. Effie's on her case. I'm on her case. You're on her case…." He sounds like he could go on for a long time, so I stop him. "I know. So what's your point?"

"Point is, people make mistakes. Especially when they've got so many other things to deal with. Now she has to deal with your instability and the guilt of that man's death that came from our decision to not tell you."

I wish he wasn't right. I really wish he wasn't. Partly because it's Haymitch, and he drives me crazy, and partly because I hate being the jerk, and somehow I always turn into one. I bet Gale wouldn't have blown up the way I did at her attempt to shield me from what was going on. I curse myself under my breath. "Alright. Leave me alone for a few minutes." Haymitch gets up and walks back downstairs.

We're brought downstairs like a wedding party would be. Our prep teams descend first, then Cinna and Portia, then Haymitch, then us. She doesn't look at me, she just holds her hand out, wanting to get this all over with. I grab her hand but hold it lightly. It feels wrong, and I think it's because it feels wrong to touch her after I reacted the way I did. I need to apologize.

We descend the steps. "Haymitch says I was wrong to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions. And it isn't as if I haven't kept things from you in the past." I'm referring to going behind her back to plan how to protect her in the games.

"I think I broke a few things myself after that interview." The one she pushed me into after admitting my feelings for her. "Just an urn." I say. But I still feel the tension. She still refuses to meet my gaze, and I don't blame her. "And your hands. There's no point to it anymore though, is there?" I'm not quite sure what she means.

"Huh?"

"Not being straight with each other?"

"No point." It's too quiet, and in attempt to fill the silence, I ask a question that I know I shouldn't.

"Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?"

"Yes."

When the light hits us, we come into view of the cameras. I grasp her hand more firmly now, and she attempts to smile, but it hides emotions she can't face alone, and she won't accept help, especially after the reaction I had in the dome.


	5. The Scandal

**A/N: This chapter's a little heavy on the romance. Keep in mind this is rated T. Basically, I find it a little odd that in the book they barely even communicate and then all of a sudden start sleeping together to avoid the nightmares, so I just go more into detail on that.**

"Take the pills, Katniss", Effie tells her, with as much sympathy as she can.

"No, please." She says, shaking her head, pushing them away. "They don't help." Cinna grasps her hand and tells her calmly. "Without them, you don't sleep."

"They make the nightmares worse. Please Cinna, not tonight." She gets up without eating, again, and goes to her room, locking the door. I sit at the table, pushing peas around my plate with my fork.

"What can we do?" Effie asks Haymitch. Haymitch doesn't answer her or even look up, he just takes a bite of food, then washes it down with liquor, and repeats the process. Cinna, frustrated and saddened, runs his fingers across his head and rests his hands on the back of his neck, trying to soothe the tension he feels. "I've had to take in nearly everything she wears." He says. I can't listen to anything else. I get up without excusing myself, walk to my room, and lock the door behind me.

After our dinner in District 11, Katniss seemed more distant. I think maybe everything finally got the best of her. She was on the verge of crying nearly all the time, and I hadn't seen a smile from her since the girl gave her the flowers, back in District 11.

We visited all the districts, in descending order. After District 11, we went to 10, then to 9, and so on. District 5 was a little hard for me, since it was the only kill I was responsible for that wasn't out of mercy, like with the girl from 8. I couldn't look Foxface's family in the eyes, and it made me feel even worse that I didn't even know her real name.

The one good part of the trip was District 4. It's beautiful, it's warm and sunny nearly all the time, and it's on a beautiful beach with clear blue warm water and white sand that feels incredible underneath your bare feet.

To try to stretch the love story as much as we could, we'd routinely try to get away from the cameras on our tour of the districts, and in District 4, we'd snuck off to the beach. Haymitch and Effie told us later that they told the cameras we wanted to be alone. Which is true, but we weren't happy, and we weren't in love off camera, like we fooled everyone into thinking. Once we were alone, the few times that we got to be, we mostly walked somewhere, in silence. Not looking at each other, not speaking, and certainly not holding hands.

Over the time we were touring the Districts, Katniss' stopped sleeping. No matter what her prep team or Cinna did, it was hard to hide the bags under her eyes. She wasn't eating as much as she should have either, and Cinna had to alter most of her clothes to fit her. Effie got Katniss an expensive prescription straight from the Capitol to help her sleep, and for awhile, she refused it. Then Haymitch told her that she has to take the pills. If she didn't, the citizens, or President Snow, would know she isn't happy, and if she didn't look happy, we were in trouble.

After weeks of fighting it, she finally just took the pills like she was supposed to. They had a bad affect on her. She walked around like a zombie in the mornings, she slept at night, but still tossed and turned and woke up screaming several times. The alternative was complete insomnia, though, and she didn't have the strength to argue anymore.

I, on the other hand, also had trouble sleeping. Since the night after District 11, I'd gone to Haymitch's room every night and got slightly drunk before wandering off to my room. It was the only way I'd sleep.

Districts 8, 4, and 3 weren't so bad, because we weren't responsible for their kills. Not directly, anyway. There were rumors of uprisings in those districts, as well.

Now, we're on the train, heading to District 2, and I know it won't be good. We'll be on the train for two days, because District 2 is a little far from District 3.

There's a knock at my door, and I open it to see Haymitch. "No nightcap tonight kid?" Haymitch tells me, handing me a flask. For some reason, I decline. Maybe I'm sick of relying on it. "Not tonight. Probably after District 2", I say. He shrugs, and says "Suit yourself."

I'd hoped a hot shower would calm me enough to let me sleep without liquor tonight, but it doesn't help. Around 11, after everyone's already gone to bed, I get up and walk out the door, wearing my sweatpants, but that's all. I can't sleep in a shirt. When I do, it ends up soaked in sweat from the nightmares.

I pace up and down the hall, trying to focus on anything but the games, Katniss, the tour, the fake romance, and the pressure. Everything Capitol related is the reason that sleep alludes me.

After midnight, I'm ready to try to sleep again. I walk slowly back to my room, and I hear moving in Haymitch's room. I open the door and he looks up at me. "I changed my mind."

I take a few shots of the liquor. "Do you think it's working?"

"Not particularly." He says. I wish he'd just lie and say that he did.

"Wonder what they'll do to us.""Don't focus on that. Keep doing what you're doing. It's all you can." I set the flask down after drinking one more sip. "Good night Haymitch."

"Don't stay up too late." I shut the door behind me.

A blood curdling scream stops me short of my room. I shouldn't, but I open Katniss' door and walk in. I walk closer to her, slowly, trying not to wake her. It's so rare that she sleeps at all on a night that she refuses the pills. But the screams don't stop. Finally, I can't take it anymore and I shake her awake. "Hey, Katniss, Hey, it's okay." She keeps screaming, and she's trying to throw my hands off of her shoulders by jerking in her sleep.

It takes me at least five minutes, but finally she opens her eyes and registers reality. "What are you doing?" She asks me accusingly.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be in hear. But I've been roaming the halls and I heard your screams. I couldn't just ignore it."

"Thank you" she tells me.

I don't know why I do it, but I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear while she looks up at me. "Try to sleep." She turns her head, but I keep stroking her hair. "I can't Peeta." She says, trying to hold back tears. "The nightmares. I'm actually afraid to sleep. The pills knock me out, but they make the nightmares worse and come more often. Then my body hurts in the morning, from all the tossing and turning." I know she's half-asleep, but it's weird for her to be this honest with me. I kiss her forehead. "I know. Me too." She looks into my eyes, the way she did in the cave, and it's hard to look away, but she does first. "There's no cameras, Peeta." She says, and I take it as a request to leave her be now.

"No, there's not." I say, walking away. I open the door, and just as I'm about to shut it behind me, she says, "Wait."

I turn. "Hm?"

"Nevermind." I shut the door behind me and I go back to my room, praying for sleep to come.

I am dozing off when I hear a small, soft rapping at my door. It's not Haymitch, and it's not Effie. I doubt it's Portia. There's no way in hell it's Katniss. Out of curiosity, I get up to go and open the door.

Before me, she stands there. "Katniss?" I say, rubbing my eyes. She turns to leave, but I grab her arm. "No, stay." I say, and I pull her close to me. This is the first time that we hug each other that isn't in front of cameras. And I tell myself it doesn't mean anything. There isn't anything romantic about the hug, it's just a way to keep from screaming.

I expected us just to talk, but she walks over to my bed, and gets under the covers, shutting off the light. I take one of the extra blankets that were provided to me and lay it on the floor by the bed. "No," she says. "Sleep with me." I say nothing, I just fold up the blanket and put it back, and slide under the covers. She sleeps with her back to me, and I put my left arm around her. She positions her left arm next to mine, and entwines her fingers with mine. Then as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out.

I wake extra early, but I feel like I've slept ten hours. I feel more rested than I have been in a long time. Then I realize, I didn't have any nightmares. I prop myself up on my right elbow, and I watch her side rise and fall as she sleeps, soundly. She hasn't moved all night. No thrashing means no nightmares. Maybe we've found our peace. I carefully get out of the bed and walk over to the dresser. I grab a towel, and my pants and shirt, and set them on the bathroom counter as I get in the shower.

When I get out, she isn't there, but my bed's been made. I walk out of my room and head to the dining car. When I get there, Effie, Katniss, and Haymitch are at the breakfast table. She's eating, which is good to see. "Slow down on the pancakes, Katniss. There's plenty more." Effie says. "Eating too fast will make you sick."

"At least she's eating." She sees me come in and I take a seat next to Haymitch, Katniss sitting across from me.

Most of the breakfast is quiet, other than Haymitch and Effie bickering back and forth occasionally. Then, Effie touches her hand to Katniss' chin and moves her head up. "The bags are less noticeable. And you're eating. Did you take the pills?" She shakes her head. Haymitch then looks at her. "Well, something's different." She then looks up at me and meets my eyes, and smiles. "No nightmares."

"No nightmares." I say back, and I'm glad that both of us finally got a restful night's sleep.

We play cards with Cinna and Portia at dinner, and when I lose at poker, I fling the cards into the air and Katniss laughs at me. It's the first laugh anyone's seen in awhile, and I allow myself to laugh as well. Cinna and Portia look at each other and smile, obviously relieved.

That night, I skip drinks with Haymitch, and Katniss and I play cards with Effie after Cinna and Portia go to bed. I curse when I lose, yet again, and Effie says, "Oh my gosh, Peeta. Manners!" But even though she's trying to scold me, I can tell Effie is relieved as well. She laughs with us. After midnight, Effie gets up. "Well, we've got a big big day tomorrow. We'd better sleep." Katniss and I rise from the table as well. "Walk me to my room?" Katniss asks me. "Sure."

She opens the door. "Thank you, for letting me stay in your room last night."

"Hey, my pleasure. It helped me avoid the nightmares too. Good night." I tell her, and I turn to leave. This time, she grabs my arm. She nods her head and motions towards her bed. "Come on." She grabs my hand, and shuts the door once we're both inside.

We sleep just as peacefully as we did the last night. No screaming, no nightmares, and no thrashing. Even though District 2 will be waiting for us when we wake up, we sleep like we haven't got a care in the world. In here, behind closed doors, in each other's arms, we are safe.

She is first to wake up this time, because when I open my eyes, she's already dressed and is drying her hair with a towel. "The bags are going away," she says. "Your color is coming back too." I add. She looks in the mirror and touches her cheek, smiling. "I'm glad I don't need the pills anymore."

"Not as happy as I am that I don't have to get drunk with Haymitch before sleep anymore," I say, climbing out of the bed. I shouldn't, but I graze her arm with my fingers. She stops messing with her hair, and I realize I should go. "I'll see you at breakfast." She nods.

As I'm leaving, I shut the door behind me. When I turn around to go to my room, I almost bump right into Effie, whose coffee sloshes out of her mug in an attempt to avoid bumping into me. She stops short and looks me up and down. "Wha…" She starts to say, and I realize how this must look. Yesterday we were both way better rested, and actually slightly calm and less stressed. There was no screaming last night. This morning, she sees me leaving Katniss' room with my hair disheveled and in nothing but sweatpants. "Um, we just," there really isn't a way to put it where it _doesn't_ sound bad. I can't think of anything to say so I just come out with "It helps with the nightmares," then her eyes grow wide and her jaw drops and then I realize how that sounded. "No! We just…um, we just sleep, that's all." She shakes her head and walks toward the dining car.

Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if Effie didn't believe me. Capitol people are nosy as hell and live to gossip. I'm sure Cinna, Portia, the stylists, and Haymitch have heard it by now. And I'm sure she twisted some things around when she told them what she saw. Embellished some things. If this gets back to the Capitol, maybe President Snow will get off our case a little bit.

After I'm dressed, I head to the dining car, and Katniss leaves her room right when I pass it. "Hey."

"Hey." We walk to the dining car, and when I open the door, I notice everyone is already there. Effie, Portia, Cinna, and Haymitch. When we walk in, all talking stops and the room is silent. Katniss looks around confused, but I know why the talking stopped. They were talking about us.

Haymitch tries to keep up a conversation that doesn't have to do with us, and they all pretty much follow along, but everyone keeps glancing at us with big smiles on their faces, like they want to say something but can't. Katniss becomes increasingly more suspicious each time, and after about thirty minutes of the small talk and exchanged glances at us, she says, "Oh, my God. _What_?"

Haymitch looks at me, and everyone else follows. I just put my head down. I must thank Haymitch later for saving me.

"Nothing. We just all noticed that you're both sleeping better. Pills must finally be working."

When breakfast was over, Effie got up and said, "Katniss, why don't we go and see what outfit you'll be wearing today."

"But doesn't Cinna normally…" She starts to say. Cinna interrupts with, "Actually, I think Effie has some advice on, uh, heels." Katniss looks suspiciously at the two of them, then at me, then back to them. "Okay, I guess." Katniss follows Effie into her room.

Haymitch gets up. "Peeta why don't you join me for a drink." I follow Haymitch into his room. "I know what this is about,"

"It's about what Effie thinks."

"You don't believe her?"

"Course not. I can't ever believe a thing that woman says. I think her hair spray makes her slightly crazy. So tell me, what _did_ she see?"

"Two nights ago I woke up Katniss 'cause she was screaming. Then she came to my room after I went to bed and got into my bed and asked me to sleep in the bed also. We just slept. That's it. And it helped with the nightmares. So we did the same last night. It's much better than booze and pills." Haymitch laughs. "I knew she was just looking for some kind of scandal." Then I hear mumbling coming from Katniss' room, which is next to Haymitch's. It's Effie's voice. We both look at the wall that divides the room. Once the mumbling stops, I hear Katniss clearly say, "Oh my God! No! No, no, no, no, no!"

Then we hear Effie mumble something again, and Katniss calms down, because we can't hear what she says next, she speaks in a mumble too. "You may want some booze for _that_ upcoming conversation boy." He says, laughing.

I knock on her door, and she opens it. I expect her to slap me in the face, but she just moves aside and lets me come in. She shuts the door. "So," she begins. "So," I say, "I swear I didn't say anything that would make Effie think that…" she stops me there by holding up a hand. "I know."

"You do?""I know anything you do or say in the Capitol could easily get turned into something it's not."

"What did she say?"

"Let's not go into that…"

"Okay, well does she believe you?"

"Not really…Because I kind of let her think what she likes."

"What? Why?"

"I hope it gets back to the Capitol." She had the same idea I did. Hopefully it works, and it doesn't spread any farther than the Capitol.

"But you shouted no," I add,

"At first. Then I realized the opportunity of this misunderstanding, so I just said we'd try to be more discreet." She says, laughing. "I can't believe we're having this conversation." I laugh too, but it's from nerves. "Well, if that's cleared up…"

"I'll see you tonight." She says, and I leave the room.

District 2 was brutal. Other districts had sympathy for us and the other tributes. District 2 hates us and wants to see _us_ die on national television now. They are the Capitol's lap dogs, so I was expecting it, but it made it very hard to give our speeches with the families looking at us the way they did. Cato and Clove would have probably been the ones to come home had Katniss and I died.

District 1 we visited the same day, since they're so close to District 2. This one was especially hard for Katniss, maybe even more so than District 2. Katniss was directly responsible for both Glimmer and Marvel's death. She refused to make any eye contact, and because we could only read Capitol approved speeches now, we couldn't apologize.

Tonight, when we get back on the train, Effie walks Katniss to her room and Haymitch tells her he'll keep an eye on me, but Haymitch knows the truth, so he doesn't. Once Effie goes to sleep I go to her room and knock. She opens it. "About time. I'm tired."

"Oh, I wasn't sure if…"

"Let's just pretend that whole awkward conversation never happened alright."

I nod, and again, we sleep peacefully. And it's a good thing too. Because we'll need our rest for tomorrow. Tomorrow, is the last stop on the Victory Tour. Tomorrow, we arrive in the Capitol.


	6. The Proposal

I wake up and Katniss is sitting in the fetal position hugging her knees to her chest, with her back against the headboard. "Hey." I say.

"Hey."

"Nightmare this time?"

"No. Just…afraid, I guess. If you repeat that I'll break your hands again."

"My lips are sealed."

She throws her legs over the side of the bed and stands up. She walks to the mirror and starts brushing her hair. "We have to be more convincing in the Capitol."

"I thought they were the ones that we didn't have to prove it too.. The Capitol loves us."

"The Capitol _citizens _love us. President Snow hates us. Or he hates me."

I get up and walk over to her. I nearly put my arms around her, and I don't know really where it came from, but she pretends not to notice and she walks into the bathroom. From inside, she calls out, "You'd better go get ready."

Walking down the hall, I realize the incredible amount of pressure on us now, to impress President Snow. We've hugged and kissed and even made out in front of the cameras before and if he _still _doesn't buy it, what else can we possibly do? I knock on Haymitch's door. No answer, so I just go in. He's sleeping so I shake him. "Wake up!" He blinks a few times. Then I shake him again and he looks around for his drink. When he finds it on the bedside table, I move it out of his reach. "What's up with you?"

"We're getting close to the Capitol."

"All the more reason I should have a drink."

"President Snow doesn't believe us." He sighs and sits up. "I know."

"What else can we do Haymitch?"

"Well, nothing camera appropriate." I glare at him. "Don't be such a prude. Have a sense of humor." Still, I don't laugh. Screw Haymitch. I walk out and slam his door on my way back to my room to change.

At breakfast, Katniss doesn't eat much, she's too afraid. "You should eat more Katniss. You've barely touched your fruit", Effie tells her.

"I'm not really hungry." Haymitch stumbles in, already drunk.

"Haymitch! For Pete's Sake, you can't wait just one day! Imagine what people will think!"

"I don't care what people think. I came to talk to the kids." He sits down. Effie waits. "Alone." He tells her. She scowls, but still gets up and walks down the hall.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"That's what I was _trying _to ask you earlier." He sticks his finger in my face. "Don't backtalk today boy, not in the mood."

"Yet you're in the mood to drink."

"Okay fine, you don't want help, you don't want help." He says, getting up. As Haymitch is walking out the door, Katniss speaks up. "Peeta and I should get engaged."

I think Haymitch is more shocked and confused than I am. "What did you say, sweetheart?" She doesn't make eye contact with either of us. She just gets up and walks over to the window. Now, we can see the Capitol off in the distance. "That's what they want, right? They'll never leave us alone, even if President Snow does believe us. It will have to happen anyway. Might as well be now. At least now, we can use it to our advantage." Haymitch nods his head, but I still don't have words.

Haymitch looks at me, questioningly. "Well? What do you think?"

"I think…I think it may get President Snow to believe us…_if _she accepts." She rolls her eyes. "If I wasn't going to accept I wouldn't have suggested it." She puts her forehead against the window, watching us get closer to the Capitol every second.

It is clear that Katniss suggested this because it might be our only way out. And it's true, it may very well be. But if we get engaged, we can only stay engaged for a certain amount of time before we have to get married. If we break the engagement, people will get suspicious, and President Snow will have a reason to kill us. Is that all they want? Will they even stop there? Or will they always want something more from us? I see now how she feels forced. And I come to the harsh reality that if we have to pretend to be in love until we grow old, she'll never have the chance to _actually_ fall for me. And she isn't the only one trapped. If I say no, they'll hurt us and our families. If I do propose, we'll be stuck in a loveless marriage because her hand was forced. And I might never have a wife who really loves me. Not one who just says she loves me because she has to. The thought hurts me. And I'm not mad at Katniss, I totally see why she feels forced, and trapped. I am angry with the Capitol. For taking not only her happiness away, but mine too.

I guess I've been taking too long to respond, because I realize they are now both looking at me. Haymitch says, "It's just a tv show, boy." I sigh.

"Yeah. I know it is." I don't want to be here, so I get up and go to the place I usually do to clear my head. I go to the back car of the train, and climb out near the top.

The closer we get to the Capitol, the more hatred I feel. The more I despise Snow. There isn't anything for me to break or throw here, but I have to do something. So I start pulling hairs out of my head. My mother does it when she gets nervous, and once I make the connection, I stop. I don't want to be like my mother. I should be crying, but I'm too angry. I should be afraid, but I'm not, because this will work. It _has_ to. And I should be afraid of a marriage so young, but I'm not, because I realize that I do want this. I just wish it were real.

We're greeted by a sea of bright neon colors waving at us and asking for autographs and wanting to take our pictures. First, we stand in front of our train, and Effie says we need to allow five minutes for photographers. Katniss stands next to me and I put my arm around her waist. We both wave and smile just like we're supposed to, but neither of us is really mentally here.

We arrive at the training center, and ironically, we stay in the same twelfth floor of the Training center that we were in before the games. Effie, Cinna, and Portia are interviewing with Caesar Flickerman, talking about what a joy it is to have done makeup and hair and dressing for the victors of the Hunger Games. Our interview will come later. Haymitch, Katniss, and I sit on the couch in the common room of the twelfth story apartment, and Haymitch taps his fingers on the arm. "So how are we doing this?"

"What?" I ask.

"When should we announce the engagement? In front of a camera? Here? Back when we get to District 12?"

"We should announce the engagement on stage," I say. Katniss is shaking her head. I can see in her eyes how afraid she is. "No, no. It won't be enough. The proposal needs to be public." Haymitch nods his head. "Actually that's probably the smartest move. Do you think you can handle that?" He says, looking at me. "Of course."

I can handle it. I can pour my heart out on stage at our interview tonight with Caesar Flickerman. I'm good with words, and I can do this. I have to. "Good." Katniss says, "Then I'll see you later." She walks down the narrow hallway into her room.

In my room, I take a look around. I've already been here too many times. Before the games, for one night after we won the games, and now. This is the last time I want to ever see this room. I look at the chandelier, and it's just as beautiful as I remember. It shines in the sunlight coming in through the window, and then it dawns on me: I need a ring.

"It's the Capitol. You're rich. Shouldn't be a problem." Haymitch tells me when I ask how I should get one.

"But, if people see me buying a ring? Come on Haymitch, it's the Capitol. You know how fast things spread amongst these people. Need I remind you about the train." He nods. "Good point. We can't tell Effie to go and get one."

"You can." He laughs. "I wouldn't know anything about that kid. You might send me out for a ring and I might come back with a bottle of liquor." I fold my arms. "Well what do _you _suggest we do about this then?" He thinks for a moment. "Fine."

An hour later, Haymitch has cleaned up to the point where no one would recognize him, but still, he "Borrows" one of Effie's wigs from her room, and puts on one of her thick coats with a hood. It's hot, but if something is fashionable enough, people would wear it anyway. No one will know that Haymitch is buying a ring. "I don't even know what to get." I think about it, and I don't really either. "Just, something simple. But make sure it shines. Make sure the diamonds reflect the sunlight."

"You're quite the romantic. I may just marry you myself." He says, taking one last drink. "Shut up Haymitch."

Haymitch returns an hour later, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely amazed with the ring he picked up. It meets all my expectations and more. It's a white gold band, and the diamond in the middle couldn't be more perfectly cut. I can see every color in it's reflection. The diamond isn't too big, because Katniss would hate that. But it is bigger than most engagement rings I've ever seen, especially back in District 12. The bigger diamond sits in the center, and there are smaller, equally beautiful diamonds surrounding it. I can't wait to give it to her, but then I have to remind myself that none of this is real.

We're backstage, and in ten minutes maybe our lives will finally not be in danger. My palms are sweating, and I'm nervous. Not of the crowd, or the engagement, just Snow's threat. What if she doesn't act happy when I ask her? I look over at her, and her eyes tell me nothing. She wears no expression on her face. If anything, she looks, bored. Like she is sick of this crap and just wants to go home. So do I. But she can't act this way on stage.

"You know them as the star-crossed lovers from District 12, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen!" We hear Caesar say the words, and then its one foot in front of the other until we get out on the stage. Just before we come into view, I look at her. "You ready?"

"I have to be." We both take a deep breath, and when I see us on the tv screens, you'd never be able to tell that we aren't incredibly happy behind the scenes as well. Katniss is pulling this off remarkably, and she gets better at it every time we're in front of the camera. I, of course, take a bow, and wave, before taking a seat on the very small love seat I'm sure they put there just for us.

I'm sitting towards the crowd, Katniss is sitting next to me, leaned up against me, her arm around my shoulder. I'm holding the hand on her other arm, stroking it with my thumb. "It's such a pleasure to have you both with us." Caesar begins. "It's a pleasure to be here, Caesar."

"Yes, thanks for your hospitality," Katniss adds.

"So tell us, how have things been going for the two of you since we've last seen you?" I'm about to answer, but Katniss speaks first. "Well, great. I'm sure you've seen us on screen at the other districts."

"Ah, yes, but it's so much different when you're sitting right here in front of us! Give her a kiss, will you Peeta?" I hear the "oohs" and "aws" from the crowd when we kiss.

"Does he still smell like roses, Katniss?"

"Even better," she says, while nuzzling her face into my chest. I steal a glance at the screen every now and then, and we look so happy and in love that if President Snow still doesn't believe it, there probably isn't anything else we can do to make him. I look down in the audience and see Haymitch. He's giving me a thumbs up. I turn my attention back to Caesar. "So, what does your family think, Peeta?"

"They are just happy to see me so happy."

"I bet they are," he says with his huge Capitol smile. "And yours?" He says, looking at Katniss. "Peeta _is _my family now. But my mother and sister are very happy as well." How can she be even better at this than me?

"So tell us, what's to come of this relationship?" I look at Katniss and she looks in my eyes to tell me that yes, this is the time. Caesar speaks again, "Oh I'm sorry, sometimes I forget that you're both still so young! I'm sure it's too early to be asking a question like that!" He says, and the audience chuckles. Then I stand up and flatten out the creases in my pants. "Actually, since you brought it up, Caesar. Katniss, will you please stand up?" She doesn't stand immediately, she asks "Why?" She knows why, but has to pretend she has absolutely no idea what's going on. "Just, stand." She does. I get down on one knee, and the audience, and Caesar, gasps with delight. They know what is coming. Too bad I don't. I curse myself in my head for not coming up with a speech. I should have prepared for that! I even got a ring, but how could I not have thought ahead about what to say?

She gives me a look as if to say, "Come on, they're watching!" I have to think of something quick, and my mouth begins to move. The words come out like they should, and I'm more listening to myself than anything else, I don't know where it's all coming from. I grab her left hand gently, and kiss it. Then I say, "I've loved you since we were kids. Your voice, your laugh, your smile, the twinkle in your eye. I can't imagine ever looking into anyone else's eyes and seeing them the way I see you. I know we're young, but I've never felt so sure about anything in my entire life, and that's why, right now, I want you to do me the extraordinary honor of agreeing to marry me."

The Capitol is hysterical, and so is Caesar. I think I see Katniss even give me a genuine smile. I can tell the difference between her camera-ready smiles and her real ones now. I am very happy with myself for coming up with such a beautiful proposal without preparing at all, but then the question that haunts me is, "Where did all that come from?"

"Yes," she says, pulling me up and kissing me. I wrap my arms around her and pick her up, and spin her around, our lips still locked. I look to Haymitch, who moves his fists in front of his face, pretending to cry. What an ass. But at least it means he thinks we did well. I set her down then, and I pull the box from my pocket. Then she sees it. "Oh my God, you got a _ring?"_ And she is genuinely surprised, which is bad. Don't all proposals go this way? Her suggesting she had no idea about the ring may not go over very well with President Snow. "Well, yeah," I try to save the situation. "What did you think I was going to put on your finger? A rock tied to a string?" The audience went from being hysterical with their emotions to hysterical with laughter. I thank God when Caesar Flickerman says, "Hahaha, you must forgive the girl. Poor thing is so in love that she isn't thinking straight!" I want to mouth the words "Thank you," to Caesar, but he's got no idea this is fake either. He has no idea he may have helped save us.

I slide the ring on her finger, and she pulls her hand to her face. She looks at her hand, then moves her hand over and gazes at it some more. She smiles and pulls me up and kisses me. And this time, it feels…different. This time it feels real. But I can't think that way. Because even if she does care for me, and the kiss was real, she doesn't love me. And everything will go back to normal once we return to District 12. Still, it's nice to know at least she feels _something_ for me.

"Well, that certainly answers my question!" Caesar says, "Audience?"

The audience roars with applause and whistles. "I thought so," he says again. "And what's this?" He looks to the audience. "President Snow is coming to congratulate them! How nice." At first I don't want to believe it, but I force myself to look in the direction that Caesar is looking. President Snow walks forward, and the crowd goes silent, moving out of his way as he walks toward center stage. He climbs the steps, and addresses the crowd first. "I hope you'll all see how wonderful this is. The Capitol grants them mercy in their games and they have a happy ending." The audience applauses. President Snow slaps my shoulder, and says "Congratulations." But that's all. Then he moves to Katniss, and it takes everything I have to not jump between them when he tries to hug her. I'm afraid he'll try to kill her. Though, that's not logical. He wouldn't be able to with the audience watching. His eyes are snakelike and his demeanor with her is cold. He says congratulations loud enough for the microphones on stage to pick it up, but when Katniss raises her eyebrows to ask the question that she can't put into words, he shakes his head.

Katniss and I have to pretend everything is fine on stage. But we've just received a death sentence. It wasn't enough. But he doesn't plan to kill us, yet. He says to the audience. "What do you all think of us throwing them a wedding right here in the Capitol?" Of course, there is applause and shouting. I don't understand it, but Katniss looks happy. She stands taller and she looks relieved, almost giddy. Did I misinterpret the head shake? No, I couldn't have. I just listen as Caesar asks about a date, and Snow says something about Katniss' clearing it with her mother, to which she laughs. I can tell that the laugh is fake. But no one else can. Still, her expression of relief is not fake.

I'm so upset about the whole thing, about our imminent death, but we get to get married first. So not only is Snow going to kill us and our families, but he is going to use us first. The car ride from the stage to Snow's Mansion is a blur. My heart and mind is racing.

We're in the banquet room of his mansion, and the game makers are here, a few select Capitol citizens, all of the hunger games stylists and operators, along with Katniss and I, Effie, and Haymitch. "I want to taste everything in the room." Katniss tells me. Then I notice the food. Every delicacy you can think of. I'm surprised the Capitol citizens can even eat this much. There is a ton of food, perhaps enough to feed the entire District 12.

"Then you'd better pace yourself." I say to her. I could not be more puzzled. Did we succeed or didn't we? I don't understand.

I don't see much of her for the rest of the night, because people keep coming up to me asking for pictures, especially women. I smile and high five them while the cameras flash. I end up walking around with floating purple dots in my eyes the entire evening. The next time I see Katniss, some guy is bending over showing her a tattoo of the mocking jay pin very close to his butt. She blushes and looks away and I decide to go and save the day. "Excuse me sir, but I need to talk to my fiancee." He smiles and goes back to the bar. "Thought I'd get you out of that mess."

"Thank you," she says, desperately trying to hold back laughter.

We scan the tables but I don't eat anything because Katniss keeps trying things and giving me the rest of it because she hates the thought of throwing it away. So do I, and I've been trying hard to not watch them throw food away all night. Eventually, Katniss' prep team comes over. A bigger one asks her why she isn't eating. When we tell them how stuffed we are, a man hands me a glass. "Drink this." I start to, but then another one tells me I have to do it in the bathroom. That's sick. It's one thing to waste food, but to gorge yourself, and then throw up just so you can do it again? I'm so angry right now I just want to take the glass and throw it onto the ground. Instead, I have to focus and lightly set it back on the table. There is no way I would ever do something like that. I can't stand this. "Come on Katniss, let's dance."

For awhile we just dance, and though I'm not a very good dancer, most songs are a little slow, so we just move back and forth while holding on to each other. I don't want to say anything, but eyes are on us, but after awhile, I decide I can whisper it. They won't be able to catch what I say, and it will just look like I'm saying something romantic or something. "You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad, and then you-". I don't need to say anything else. I can tell she is thinking the same thing I am. She tells me that by watching kids kill each other for entertainment, this is expected. "I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it anymore. To the point where…I'm not sure what I'll do." I realize I'm letting the decibels rise, and I lower my voice again. "Maybe we were wrong, Katniss." This time, she doesn't know what I mean. I'm not even sure I do. My mouth is moving before I am thinking again. "About trying to subdue things in the districts."

I realize that I am right. Maybe a revolution is necessary. "Sorry." I say. No one heard me, but what I just said could cause both of us a lot more trouble. "Save it for home," she says. If we even make it home. Plutarch Heavensbee, a game maker, cuts in to dance with her. At first I don't want to let this man near her, but how would that look? And for some reason, he doesn't seem like the other game makers. But I can't put a finger on why.

Effie finds me next. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Oh, yes," I say it sarcastically, but it's Effie, so she doesn't catch it. "Me too." She sighs. "But unfortunately it will have to come to an end some time. We've got to be back on the train by one."

"Okay, I'll tell Katniss."

"Thank you, Peeta. Oh, and congratulations." She says, and walks towards a stand of dessert cakes, and I, of course, am drawn to them.

They are so delicately done. The work is remarkable. I would love to meet the baker, but I doubt he'd be able to speak. He is probably an Avox. I stop to think of what my life would have been like if I'd been born in the Capitol. I think to myself, I could have done this. I could be designing these cakes. Then I remember that I do have a nice life, and at the same time, I don't act the way these people do, and for that, I am thankful.

Katniss finds me, and we say our necessary goodbyes, with Effie trailing us to make sure we use "Good manners." By twelve-thirty, we're traveling through the streets of the Capitol, and people are still out at this late hour waving us off. It seems to take forever to actually get to the train, because the car has to drive so slow for all the people. But at one o clock, everyone is back on the train and it's pulling away from the station. And I remember, it's over now. If we succeeded, great. We'll go back and have a mediocre life. We'll pretend everything is fine. Go to necessary interviews. Kiss when we have to. Marry in the Capitol when it's time. If we didn't succeed, we'll die. And I actually think I'd prefer the latter choice, only I couldn't watch them kill my family or Katniss first, and I'm sure that's what they'd do. We're going home, back to 12.

I don't like waking up the next morning, because this is the last time, well, at least for awhile, that we will sleep peacefully. What we're doing is innocent, but there's no way her mother or mine would allow it to continue. I'll have to sleep alone again. "No nightmares." I tell her when she wakes up. She tells me about a dream she had about chasing a mocking jay through the woods, then when she asks me about my dreams, I have to tell her. So I tell her that usually, my nightmares are about losing her, or her death, or something that has to do with her. I tell her that I'm normally fine once I realize she's right there next to me. She doesn't say anything. She turns back around, and moves away from me, but I don't know why. She suggests the next time I wake her, but I tell her it isn't necessary. "It will be worse when I'm sleeping alone again."


	7. The Transformation

I vaguely remember a dinner at Mayor Undersee's house, but it's just all so routine by now, dinner after dinner, interview after interview, that I don't really pay attention anymore. I get all these events mixed up sometimes. Anyway, the Harvest Festival I do remember.

It's something like the Victory Tour, but it wasn't something we were dreading, it was something we, or at least I, were looking forward to. Mayor Undersee gives a speech and then Katniss and I feast with everyone else in the district. Now, we're among friends.

The first night home, I actually slept alright. I guess it was the relief that it was finally over. Well, at least the tour part was. At least that small burden being lifted helped me sleep somewhat.

The next day, my mother insists that I have dinner with the family in town. Now, when my mother suggests I be at a dinner, and be "halfway presentable, please.", it's normally because the dinner isn't for the family. It's for my mother's friends. I'm certain she just wants to be able to brag about my winning the Hunger Games.

I run into Katniss on the way into town, who is returning from the forest. At first, I'm afraid she's going to withdraw again and become distant, but she looks like she's actually eager to talk to me. "Been Hunting?" I ask her.

"Not really. Going to town?"

"Yes. I'm supposed to eat dinner with my family."

"Well, I can at least walk you in."

Something's up.

I know there is something on her mind, but watching her chew on her bottom lip trying to think of a way to say it is mildly entertaining, and this may be the only entertainment I have all night. My mother's dinners are usually incredibly dull. For me and my brothers, at least. She and her friends always enjoys each other's company.

Near the square in town, I'm about to tell her that maybe she should just come by later. But then she finally says it. "Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?"

Now, this catches me off guard. First of all, why would she be asking me? Surely she doesn't intend just the two of us run off. So it must be a larger group. Maybe her family, Gale?

"Depends on why you're asking," I say, taking her arm to stop her.

"President Snow wasn't convinced by me. There's an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out."

So this is what her strange acting was about. I _did_ see Snow shake his head on stage. And she did look relieved, but only because she'd put a plan in place.

"By 'we' do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?"

"My family. Yours, if they want to come. Haymitch, maybe."

"What about Gale?"

"I don't know. He might have other plans."

Even if Gale didn't want to leave the district, if she asked him to, he'd go. So I say, "Sure. I'll go." She smiles and I can tell how happy she is. I hate to bring it down a notch but I know for a fact that there is no way Katniss will leave to go live in the woods. If there is something starting, she'll want to stay behind. She'll want to be a part of it, whatever it is that is stirring in the districts. It's her nature.

"You will?"

"Yeah. But I don't think for a minute you will."

Her smile fades. "Then you don't know me. Be ready. It could be any time."

I'm trying not to laugh. _Oh, but I do know you. Very well._

She seems so focused and excited about her plan that it hasn't crossed her mind how in the hell we'd even pull it off. She walks a few feet in front of me to try to distance herself, but she isn't getting off that easy.

"Katniss, hold up. I really will go, if you want me to." Then I start to tell her that maybe it'd be best to talk it through with Haymitch, but then I stop paying attention to what I'm saying. There is some kind of commotion in the square.

I don't think she knows it, but the peacekeepers have been punishing people for less and less lately. I'm worried, and I tell her "Come on.".

There's a huge crowd, but I've got to see what it is, see if it's safe for us to even be here. I climb up a crate and then reach down to help Katniss climb it. I climb a few more steps, onto the next crate, when all color drains from my face and my heart stops. Gale is being beaten bloody. She can't see this. It will destroy her. "Get down! Get out of here!"

I should have known she'd be difficult. "What?" She says, trying desperately to climb for a better view. "Go home Katniss! I'll be there in a minute, I swear!" I shout at her, but this only makes her want to stay more. I weigh my options. I can let her see and try to pick up the pieces, or I can shield her eyes and then have her bitch at me later for keeping her away from her friend when he needed her. It's not like she could _do_ anything, anyway. What was she going to do? Shoot an arrow through the Peacekeeper's heart? Oh, President Snow would just _love _that.

And while I was weighing those options, I notice that she is no longer anywhere near me, she's pushing through the crowd. It's too late to stop her from seeing it. All I can do is be there when she does. When she sees him, she freezes. But when she sees the whip raise up, she sprints towards Gale. Now I'm flipping out too. It's bad enough that Gale is injured in this way, but the Peacekeeper won't magically stop whipping just because some girl jumps in front of the boy. The whip slashes and cuts Katniss across the face. By this time, I'm sprinting towards them as fast as I can. "Haymitch!" I call. He looks. "Do something!" Haymitch is much closer to them than I am, but it seems Haymitch was already planning on doing something. And no, it doesn't involve stumbling onto the stage drunk.

I am eternally grateful to Haymitch for knowing exactly what to do and say to get the whipping to stop. He goes on about how she is a "star" and that he just messed everything up, and how President Snow won't be happy about this. The man hesitates, but after some convincing, lowers his whip. I Have no idea what I'd have done if I'd gotten there first. Probably fling myself in front of the two of them, and create some whipping tonga line. I curse myself for making that joke.

Then, though, that is exactly what I do. By now, I've reached the stage, and I grab her arm. I tell the guard that she's my fiancee', which, technically, she is, and that he'll have to go through me. I'm trying to be brave. But part of me just wants to pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, and run like hell. Thank God I don't have to do that.

"Kid, here," some guy says. I've seen him before, but I can't place where. He hands me a knife, and I cut through the ropes tied to Gale in no time. Haymitch tells Katniss that she should take Gale to her mother. Which means that I will be taking Gale to her mother. Two miners that work with Gale help Haymitch and I carry Gale on a wooden board back to Katniss' mother. As the guys fill her in, I desperately wish there was something I could say to make this better, but I'm actually struggling with words this time.

We successfully get Gale to Katniss' mom. She immediately drops what she is doing and starts looking at Gale's wounds. Katniss looks like she is about to faint. "Okay, that chair looks comfortable." I pick her up and set her in the chair before she can protest. I go outside and get some fresh snow, and I sit across from her, holding the snow to her wound to stop any inflammation.

Katniss starts to become angry with her mother for not using enough medication, or something. I don't know, I don't really understand the whole medicinal herbs thing. So when her mother orders her out of the house, Haymitch and I carry her to her bedroom and pin her down until she stops resisting. "Your mother can't do her best work with you causing a scene, sweetheart."

"Shut up and go drink your liquor."

"Believe me, if Peeta could keep you pinned here by himself, I would."

I glare at Haymitch for his comment. I could easily hold her down alone, I threw hundred pound sacks of flour for years. Still, I don't know what to say. And bickering with Haymitch actually calms her down. She needs to vent, and he doesn't mind her jabs at all. After a few minutes, she covers herself up with a blanket and starts to sob. "She wants us to run," I whisper to Haymitch. He knows what I mean. But he says nothing. Probably figures it wouldn't work or we wouldn't last long if it did. Which is probably the case. But if she goes, so do I.

Katniss' friend Madge, and the mayor's daughter, arrives and hands Katniss a small cardboard box. When her mother opens it, there are syringes filled with clear liquid. She injects one into Gale, and his face relaxes a bit. Of course, I ask what they are. "It's from the Capitol. Called Morphling".

I offer to stay after everyone eats, to comfort Katniss, or help her mother, or really, just do anything I can. But her mother sends me home, along with Haymitch. Outside, Haymitch attempts to bond with me. "You okay?"

"I guess. I'm not the one lying on that board in a ton of pain. And I'm not the one watching someone I love up on that board."

"What makes you so sure that's the case?" He says, and I know he means my implication that Katniss and Gale are more than friends.

"I don't know. Just a feeling." Haymitch stops, and then grabs my arm to stop me.

"You are the most selfless boy I've ever met. Willing to sacrifice your life for the girl you barely even knew."

"I _felt_ like I'd known her all my life. I just didn't really.." He cuts me off.

"That's not the point. If you can do that, you can stop obsessing on Katniss and Gale and just be there for them. Anything you're feeling, Peeta, just put it on hold." He walks inside his house, leaving me standing in the snow.

I hate that Haymitch is right. Why is he always right? With as much as he drinks, how many brain cells does he even have left? He's a total ass sometimes, and almost never sober, but he is the wisest person I know. And I find that I respect him for that. Which I also can't stand.

It occurs to me that all this time I've been convincing myself that I was fine with being just friends, and that I'd have to be careful to not fall for her again. But then, do friends obsess over other opposite sex companions? Nope. Did I ever stop loving her? Or was I just blinded by my anger? I didn't fall for her _again_, no. I just never got back up the first time.

Regardless of my feelings, I will do whatever I can to be there for her and Gale. I can't force her to choose, and whose to say it will even be one of us? It might be someone else. Or it may never be anybody. Obsessing over who is in front, Gale or me, is selfish, and it only makes things worse. All I can do is let fate play out.

Walking up the sidewalk to my house, I tell myself over and over again that Gale will have her attention for awhile. And he is the one that needs it. I'll have to deal with it. And maybe I can make an attempt at getting to know Gale better. When I open my door, there she stands. My mother.

"Where the hell were you at dinner?"

"I had something else I had to take care of."

"What? That girl?"

"Not exactly. She.." but my mother cuts me off before I can tell her what happened in the square, assuming she'd even care.

"You really will put a girl before your own family?" This upsets me, and for the first time ever, I talk back to my mother.

"Why the hell not? You put your self-righteous friends above your family all the time! Do you think I like sitting there listening to you all just drone on and on about who is cheating on who, or who was caught stealing, or other crap that doesn't matter?"

She steps closer and I wince. But she doesn't hit me, not this time. "Get out of my house." I say. All I hear is a gasp. "If you can't get your priorities straight and be a mother for a change, you aren't welcome here." She stomps off. And I feel relieved. But I didn't sleep well.

I walk to her house in the morning with fresh bread that I baked just in case Gale woke up and was hungry. I set it on the counter, and then when I go to wake her up, I discover her hand and his, entwined like hers and mine once was. I can't pretend it isn't painful. But I can pretend not to notice. I shake her awake and tell her to go to sleep. I offer to watch Gale now. She begins to tell me that she's changed her mind about running, but I always knew she would. I told her that no explanation was necessary.

I left once I heard Katniss stirring, knowing she'd be up soon. I didn't really feel like talking. Still, an hour or so later, she calls me on the phone. She asks if I got home okay, but I live three houses down. I feel a slight flicker of joy when I think that maybe she called just to hear my voice, but then remind myself that isn't important right now. She asked about Haymitch, and I told her that he was drunk as usual, which he was when I was there twenty minutes ago. But he's breathing so, he's fine.

She tells me she needs to speak with us, and I know it's about the Capitol. She can't say anything over the phones, which, I'm sure are tapped. So we agree to meet after the storm is over.

In town, she and Haymitch and I walk, scanning the streets for Peacekeepers after nearly every word we say. Katniss tells us she wants to start an uprising. Not only is this suicide, but how would we even start? Haymitch laughs, and he ignores the topic. Instead, he starts telling her the wedding plans, and I do my best to ignore the conversation. I don't want to be involved in this right now. It's weird, after just seeing she and Gale..how they were. With their hands.

Before their conversation gets anywhere, we reach the center of town. It looks…horrible. It resembles District 11- the most harsh, most Capitol-controlled district in the country. You get a bad feeling just standing underneath the huge Panem flag, like you're a target. The Hob is gone. Katniss points out the smoke and Haymitch assures her that no one would be stupid enough to stay while it's being torched, to which she nods. He says something about going to the apothecary to get rubbing alcohol. "He can't drink that. He'll kill himself or at least go blind. I've got some white liqour stored at home." As much as Katniss and Haymitch pretend to hate each other, I know there is a good relationship going on with them. Haymitch could, in no way, replace her father, but he, in his own, very _special_ way, does care about her and look out for her. And whether she admits it or not, she does the same for him. "Me too." I say, admitting I have some stashed too. It's not for Haymitch. It's for me, to sleep, now that I have to sleep alone. But that is irrelevant.

**A/N: This chapter wasn't very fun to write, and probably not the best to read either, but it was a necessary filler. Stay tuned, the Quell comes next.**


	8. The Announcement

The past two weeks seemed to fade by fast. We stood in silence while we watched every familiar Peacekeeper be replaced by one sent directly from the Capitol. What happened to the Peacekeepers we had? I'm trying really hard not to ask myself what's become of them.

I don't know why District 12 is being punished the way it is. The mines have been closed the past two weeks, and they just opened yesterday, though hours are longer and wages have been cut. The Capitol says there is a "food shortage", but I'm sure everyone in the Capitol is eating and then throwing it up, over and over again, just fine.

I can't help but feel guilty. I have enough to help some of the families I know with food and things they need, but I don't have enough for the whole district. I somehow feel like our district being punished is my fault. And Katniss'. Because of the berries. But if that were the case, wouldn't the Capitol would have done this eight months ago, when we came home?

Haymitch assures me that the reason the Capitol is becoming even more tyrannical than they have been, is not because of us. It's because of the uprisings. They want to show the districts that it won't go unnoticed. They want to starve the districts so that no one will have the strength to even care anymore.

Lately I've been going to Katniss' house every day to drop off bread to her mother. But today is different. It's not snowing, but it's still very cold, and I'm in gloves, with a beanie, and a thick coat on when I walk to her house that morning. But when I knock on the door, I don't see a familiar face.

"Mr. Mellark. Please come in, we have some questions." It's a peacekeeper. Not one, but two of them. Prim and their mom seems very worried, and then I feel it too. Where is she? They must want to know. I hope to God she didn't go hunting this morning. If she got caught…I don't know what would happen.

I drop the bread onto the table, and sit down. "Peeta, is it?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time you saw Miss Everdeen?"

"Yesterday. What's the problem?"

"I'll be asking the questions. Do you know where Miss Everdeen is?"

"No."

"Do you have any idea at all where she is?" _**Lie.**_

"Not at all. Why would I?" _**Lie better.**_

"We've been here for nearly an hour, and she hasn't shown up."

"Maybe I can go and look for her?" This way, maybe I'll see her and warn her, so she can think of a story.

"No. Why don't you stay right here until she comes back?"

I gulp. I don't know when she is coming back, but part of me wishes she ran off with Gale into the woods. I'm afraid for what will happen when she comes back. What if they knew she'd been hunting? What if Snow wants her in the Capitol?

I hear the taller Peacekeeper tell the other one to go and get "The drunk." I really hope Haymitch has enough sense not to say anything, if he does know.

When Haymitch gets to the house, they ask him the same questions, and he gives almost the same answers. They wait for two hours, and Haymitch and I play chess. For me, I just want to keep my mind from worrying. Katniss doesn't show up for another hour after that. She's limping coming up the sidewalk, and I'm wondering what could be wrong. I give her a face and shake my head, trying desperately to tell her to act like she isn't injured, but she doesn't see me.

Thankfully, she plays it off well. She hides the limp, which must be very painful. And I can tell she's been hunting because there is a twig in her hair. It's a good thing the Peacekeepers don't pay as much attention to her as I do.

She covers herself very well. She starts arguing with Prim about her goat or something, and Haymitch and I add to the lie at the right cues, and eventually the Peacekeepers get bored and leave.

As soon as the door shuts, I'm behind Katniss. No idea how I got there so fast. But she leans against me, her leg causing a lot of pain. "What is it?"

"Oh. I banged up my left foot. The heel. And my tailbone's had a bad day, too."

I help her over to the couch, and then fluff a pillow for her to put her head on, then I stack two pillows under her foot to keep it elevated. Katniss' mother begins tending to her after that.

After Katniss' foot is wrapped up, her mother gives her some sleep syrup, and I offer to take her to her bed. At first she just leans on me, but I know firsthand just how drowsy that syrup makes you, and I end up carrying her the rest of the way. After I get her into bed and cover her up, I turn to leave, but I hesitate, hoping that she'll ask me to stay. She doesn't, so I turn to leave.

But then she grabs my hand. I turn around and we look at each other until it's awkward. Then she says, "Don't go yet. Not until I fall asleep." I sit on the edge of the bed, and with her hand still holding mine, I put my other hand around it, warming hers. The sleep syrup tends to make you cold, too. "Almost thought you'd changed your mind today, when you didn't show up." I can't say much, with the Capitol probably listening. But she knows what I mean, about me thinking she may have run off with Gale.

"No. I would have told you."

She pulls her hand away, and I think I should leave now, but then she takes my hand and she leans her cheek against the back of it. I think about offering to just sleep with her, then she can use my arm as a pillow. But the sleep syrup lowers inhibitions too, so I don't want her waking up in the morning regretting asking me to stay because of Gale or something. But then I don't have to offer. As her eyelids shut and her breathing shallows, she says, "Stay with me." And I whispered my response into her ear, as I layed down beside her. My response was "Always."

I'm extra careful leaving her room this time. I imagine the reparations of her mother catching me leaving her room at the crack of dawn would be way worse than Effie catching me doing that. I wake up at four am, and carefully ease my arm from under her head. Then I get up quietly. But she wakes up anyway after pulling my arm away. "What…?" She seems confused. "I have to go now." She smiles, and whispers "Okay," before turning around and falling asleep again.

I get out of the house successfully, almost.

"What are you doing up at this time boy?" Haymitch calls to me from his window. He waves me over. I don't want to go inside, I want to go home and start baking. So I just walk up to his window.

"Her mother see you?"

"No. I was careful to be quiet."

"I told you she needs you."

"I'm just trying not to count on that."

The next week was so peaceful. Katniss was ordered to bedrest by her mother, so I brought over cheese buns, her favorite, every day. She ate them while we worked on putting together a book. "It was my mother's. And probably my grandmother's before that. It's got medicinal herbs and plants, and their uses, with some drawings."

"That's a good idea."

"Yeah, it was an even better idea for my father to put in edible plants. That's how I kept us alive for so long after he died. Before I was a good hunter."

I wince at the thought.

"I've been wanting to put some of the things that I've learned in there too. For the future."

"You mean for your kids?"

"I'm not having any."

"Oh, then for Prim's kids?"

"Maybe. For anyone that needs it I guess."

She described plants she knew, and I drew them in the book, while she printed everything she'd come to know about that plant next to it's picture. One morning, as I was working very hard on get the shading just right for a certain flower, she says "You have long eyelashes." I don't get complimented on my eyelashes very often obviously, so I don't really know what to say other than, "Um, thanks?"

"I mean they're long, and they reflect the sunlight." I remember the bronze glow of her cheeks when she wore the orange dress on the Victory tour. And I was thinking the same thing, that she reflects the sunlight. We smile, and then I go back to the plant.

When I get to shading the flower of the plant, I catch her watching me again. It takes all my judgement not to kiss her. Even if this is all we could ever have. This peace, the smiles or the laughing, just being friends. It's much better than not having her in my life at all, like I did when we ignored each other after the Games. I can't risk that happening again by kissing her. So I just think of something to say. "You know, I think this is the first time we've ever done anything normal together."

"Yeah. Nice for a change."

For the whole week, there was almost no talk of a forced romance, a forced wedding, uprisings, Capitol threats, or Peacekeepers. I couldn't remember a time where either of us felt more at ease, than we did when we lied in her bed, eating cheese buns, working on the book, smiling, laughing.

But in Panem, happiness doesn't last forever.

Effie was in town, along with Cinna and Katniss' stylists, for her bridal photo shoot or something. I don't know, because Effie wouldn't permit me to go over there all day. It was the first day in two weeks that we'd been apart, and I found myself bored. So later in the afternoon I'd decided to go into town to talk to my father, maybe pick up some cupcakes for Prim. She's become very fond of the ones that my brother Jacob puts little frosting ducks on. I don't know why though.

When I get there, my mother gives me the cold shoulder, but my father's face lights up. "Hey son."

"Hi dad. How's business?"

"Not so well, since the food shortages and all. But business has always gone up and down. It's how it works. How is she?"

I'm not sure if he's asking about Katniss or her mother. But with my mother in the next room, I could see why he would be so vague. He must be talking about her mother. "Very well. Business is good."

Again, I can't say much, with my mother probably eavesdropping. By saying business, instead of her being a doctor, I could fool my mom into thinking I'm talking about myself and the little mini bakery I run out of my house.

He looks around for any potential customers walking down the street. When he doesn't see any, he ducks into the storage freezer, and motions for me to follow. My father doesn't speak much, what could this be about?

In the freezer, we're safe from Capitol bugs or my mother's ears. Or my brothers. Anything he says here will be heard by me only. "You kids have caused a lot of trouble, I hear."

"Huh?" I back away.

"No, son, that's good." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm very proud of you." This is the first time he's said this to me, so I stay quiet. When I don't speak, he continues.

"For protecting that girl. In the Games, afterwards, on the Tour. All that."

"Dad why are you tel-" He stops me.

"There's been uprisings in in the Districts."

"What?"

"District 8 has almost completely taken over. The Capitol is sending fewer and fewer people to try and stop it, because the movement has become so strong. Anyone they send in, doesn't come out. Districts 3, 4, 7, 10, and 11 are revolting as well, but they aren't as strong as 8. Yet…"

"How do you know this?"

"You know you're mother, in everyone else's business. She's been having brunch with the mayor's wife lately. About time she picks up something useful."

"And this is because…"

" Of you. And her. Your refusal to play in to the Capitol's Games. And for that, I'm proud of you."

In the safety of the bakery freezer, I _could _tell my dad just how much trouble we're in because of what we did. But I elect not to. I don't want my family worrying until it's absolutely necessary. I _could _also tell my dad that our wedding is a ruse, but then he'd ask why, and I'd have to say that it's because if we didn't agree to marry we'd probably already be dead. This just prolongs it. Plus, I like the angry look my mother gives me that says she doesn't approve.

I decide just to give him a hug and thank him for the information. I promise to stop by at least once next week, and then he waves as I walk out the door.

As I get closer to my house, I realize my light is on. I'm sure I didn't leave it on. First I'm afraid. Peacekeepers? No. There's no reason for them. I'm hoping it's Katniss, maybe to work on our book some more. But it isn't. It's Haymitch.

I sit on the couch next to Haymitch, who flicks on the tv. "You still haven't told me what you're doing in my house Haymitch."

"Mandatory tv from the Capitol. They might announce the Quell. You're a mentor this year, you should watch." Haymitch is strictly business tonight. Then I remember it's the Quarter Quell, and he fought in the last one. Quarter Quell's are the black hole of the Hunger Games. It's hopeless enough as it is. But with an extra twist? I'd hate to be the tribute going in this year.

I hate seeing Snow's face on tv. I want to reach in and strangle him. Maybe if I drink some of Haymitch's liquor, I could give myself the illusion that I am.

Haymitch winces when they announce the Fiftieth Quarter Quell, which is the one Haymitch fought in. Again, I want to ask how he did it, but I find myself unable to.

"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

It takes me awhile to comprehend exactly what's just been said. I know how it sounds, but the Capitol also gives the promise that anyone who fights in the Hunger Games won't ever have to do it again. But I'm kidding myself, it's the Capitol. They don't need or want to keep a promise. They want excitement. They want romance, and they want to kill Katniss and I live, on national television. To make a point.


	9. The Strategy

"Well, I'm no stranger to the Capitol's bullshit, but I didn't even see that one coming." Haymitch says, walking into the kitchen. I'm sitting there with the dumbest look on my face. He brings out three bottles. He hands one to me, and I open it and drink a few gulps right away. Anything to keep myself in denial instead of letting reality set in. He drinks from the other one, and sets the third down on the coffee table, across from the empty couch cushion. I look at it.

"I suspect the mocking jay will be along soon."

Then, with his last statement, reality set in. Existing pool of victors. Male: Haymitch and Me. Female: Katniss. Only Katniss. She'll be going back into the arena for sure. I can't let Haymitch go. I have to go. I have to do the same thing I did last time, I have to keep her alive. For the sake of her family. For Prim. Even for Gale. I'm the only one who can. Haymitch would probably give his life for hers since he hates life anyway, but he wouldn't be able to drink in the arena. And the withdrawal would render him less than useless. Plus, he's in his forties.

He looks at his watch. "How can you be acting so completely normal?" I yell at him. He laughs. "I'm sorry, what _should _I be doing boy?"

I don't say anything.

"I said, what _should_ I be doing? You want me to flip out like you are? I'm not the least bit surprised that the Capitol pulled this crap. You think it's easy for me? If I go into the arena, I'll have to watch Katniss die. If I even make it that far. If you go, I'll have to watch both of you. There's no winning in it for any of us."

I knew Haymitch felt at least _some_ kind of emotion for the kids he coached. And since we were the only ones who made it out, he's become kind of like our family. Our own little messed up, dysfunctional family. I imagine being in his position. Being alone for so long, then finally managing to at least halfway like two people who actually take care of me and care about me. Then watching them die.

"Well, obviously, you're not going back in. So you'd better get used to the fact that you won't have us much longer."

"What are we going to do?"

"I just said, you're not going in. I'm going in. You're going to coach us."

I then decided to take on a more optimistic, yet brutal position. "We'll train harder than the Careers do in the coming weeks. District 12 will have another victor, I'll be sure of it."

"Well, that's rather optimistic of you," he says, sarcastically. He takes another drink, and sits in silence, staring at the now-blank television. "I've got to get out of here." I say, but he doesn't look at me.

The liquor seems to hit me all at once, and it happened when I turned on the light in my house. All of a sudden, everything was super bright, and I was dizzy, and I fell. First, against the wall, then my body slipped down to the floor. I could just sleep right here. But I force myself to get up. I stumble to the sink and put my mouth under the faucet. Hopefully if I consume enough water, I'll feel less bad tomorrow, and I might throw some of it up. Which I do, right there in the sink, between gulps of running water. Then, I can't keep myself up anymore, the last thing I remember is hitting my head on something.

I wake up, and look outside. It's late afternoon. I have a throbbing headache, but the rest of me feels okay. The water must have helped at least a little. I stand up and hold my hand to my head. I feel woozy, but it isn't the liquor, it's my head wound. I look and see some blood on the corner of the cabinet, and then I realize that's what I hit my head on. The water is still running, so I take a few more drinks before shutting it off.

I sit on my couch for an hour, in the dark, trying to come back from the hangover I have. Then I realize that if we have any chance of winning, we'll have to stop this. Drinking is weak, it makes you weak, which is why I passed out last night and why I sit on the couch now. None of us should drink anymore.

I call Ripper, who sells the alcohol, and said I'd report it if he sold to me, Haymitch, or Katniss. He agreed, and tried to express his condolences, but I hung up before he could finish. I have things to do.

Haymitch, as I suspected, was already passed out and drooling on himself. So I walked upstairs to where he keeps his stuff. I opened every last bottle and poured it out the window. Then, I proceeded to throw the glass out of the window either, more in frustration than anything else.

I carry the cardboard box the alcohol came in downstairs to throw it out, but then I see Katniss sitting at the table with barely conscious Haymitch. So I toss the cardboard box with the remaining empty bottles I didn't throw onto the table, and Haymitch sits up with a jolt, though still barely conscious.

"There, it's done."

Katniss is the one to respond.

"What's done?"

"I've poured all the liquor out." _That _got Haymitch's attention. "You what?"

"I tossed the lot." Haymitch is pissed, but Katniss just looks bored.

"He'll just buy more." She says. Then I told them I instructed Ripper not to sell to them, to which Katniss scoffs. I know what she's thinking. _Joke's on you. I've got some stashed at home._ But I doubt she'll touch it.

Haymitch swings his knife at me, more to scare me than anything. He misses. "What business is it of yours what he does?"

"It's completely my business. However it falls out, two of us are going to be in the arena again with the other as mentor. We can't afford any drunkards on this team. Especially not you, Katniss." Because she is the one who has to come out of there alive.

She turns to Haymitch. "Don't worry, I'll get you more liquor." Before making a face at me. I tell them I'd report them, and Katniss just looks away while Haymitch asks what the point of it all is. "The point is that two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor and one victor. Effie is going to send me recordings of all the living victors. We're going to watch their Games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start acting like careers. And one of us is going to be victor again whether you two like it or not!" I say, while slamming the door and walking outside.

Okay, so I didn't _technically _already get Effie to send the tapes, but that's first on my list. I called her and tried as hard as possible to sidestep all the nonsense and the bullshit. I probably sounded rude, but I don't have time to argue about something that doesn't matter right now.

The next couple of weeks went by quickly, because they are all we have left. Although we studied the other victor's and trained vigorously, I still made time for my family. My mother was saddened for once. My father said his goodbye the last time I saw him, knowing that I'd die willingly. My brother Riley has been pretty distant. He refused to see me the few times I went over there. My mother said it was just too hard for him to see me. She said he thought it'd be easier that way.

Gale taught us to set snares. He's incredibly talented at it. If he'd ever been a tribute, he'd have won for sure. I don't do as well as he does, but my snares work, so I'm okay with that. When Katniss goes to check a rabbit snare she set, she leaves Gale and I alone for the first time. It's awkward and silent at first. But after five minutes, I realize Katniss will be coming back anytime, and I can't bear to not say anything to him.

"She'll come back you know."

"I figured." He says. And it's quiet for another minute. Then he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Thank you for what you did…in the first Games. Well, _some_ of it," he says, smiling. I smile back. "Take care of her." I tell him.

"Of course." That's all that needed to be said.

The morning of the reaping, the three of us agreed to walk to the square together. The knock at my door told me it was time, but when I opened it, neither Haymitch nor Katniss stood before me, Riley did. He embraced me in a long bear hug, him being so much bigger. "I'm sorry this happened to you. And I'm sorry I refused to see you."

"You're here now."

"Yeah, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sad anymore, I'm pissed." I raise my eyebrow.

"I promise, Peeta, you won't die in vain. They won't win that easily. Me and the guys in the mine.. We've been talking." I shush him, pushing him outside, where it's slightly safer to talk.

"About?"

"Just that…we've got your back. We'll get a pool going to sponsor you both. And…" he looks around.

"…We're fed up. With everything."

"You..You've always been so…"

"Obnoxious and unaware? I know. But working with these guys, they're good people. And some of them's got kids reaping age. I'll have kids one day. This won't ever go away, and we're tired of it. We're going to put up a hell of a fight."

There isn't anything I can say to change their minds. That's obvious. With all the other districts uprising? Maybe the Capitol won't pay much attention to a rebellion in 12, we're all poor and underfed and our district is incredibly small. Still, my last words to my brother are, "Just be careful." He nods, pats my shoulder, and runs off.

Katniss and Haymitch and I stand in a roped off area by the stage. The entire district knows about us going back in, but hardly any are here to watch. I'd assume most don't want to. Maybe, in their own way, they are protesting by not being a part of the reaping.

Effie Trinket stands on stage. She's got a gold wig on, but other than that, she doesn't look like she'd be from the Capitol. She also doesn't appear to enjoy this, the way she did last year. I can't believe it's been a whole year. Sometime during the past year, I turned 17. I've just been too preoccupied with everything to notice. I think back, it's May. My birthday in November. Katniss' is in July.

Effie gives a look of sadness, though it doesn't last long with cameras on her. She doesn't want to be punished by the Capitol either. But I read her expression. I knew she couldn't be as bad as the rest of them.

She draws Katniss' name, of course. Then Haymitch's name is drawn, and I, as agreed, take his place. Then, instead of taking us to the room to say our goodbyes, we're taken directly to the train. My goodbyes have been said anyway.

Effie retires straight to her room, in the middle of the day. For what, I don't know. Haymitch has passed out drunk, and Katniss and I stand alone in the common area, looking out the window. I trace my fingers down her arm, and then she catches what I'm doing, so when my hand gets to hers, they fold together perfectly. Then we just stare at the window, knowing that there's a good chance we won't see District 12 again. At least for me.

The silence kills me. I know she needed to say her goodbyes. She needed to talk to Gale. I think for a second if I'd been in his position. I feel bad for him. So then I tell her that we'll write letters. Haymitch will deliver them if need be. It doesn't seem to comfort her though. She nods and pulls her hand from mine as she walks down the hall to her room.

In my room, I sit down with a pen and paper. I write just one letter.

_Gale,_

_I'm writing you from the train on the way to the Capitol._

_I know that you played a vital part in keeping her alive when she was young, _

_Which was a favor to me, even though you didn't know it._

_Now, I'll return the favor. _

_She'll come back to you, but when she does, _

_She'll be broken. The things you see and do in the Games,_

_They never leave you. She'll wake up screaming_

_Most nights. _

_Just stroke her arm until she falls back asleep._

_She'll have bad days sometimes,_

_She doesn't need someone to listen._

_She just wants someone to be there, so be there._

_She'll cry sometimes_

_She almost never lets anyone see it, _

_But when you do see it, just keep_

_An arm around her, and dry the tears with your hands._

_Hunting will cure anything wrong with her._

_She zones out when she hunts. _

_It heals her mind._

_Tell my family I love them when you get the chance._

_Oh, and Prim loves the duck cupcakes my father makes. _

_-Peeta_

Dinner is quiet. It's calm, however, at the same time, depressed. Everyone knows what is coming, and no one attempts to lighten the situation. So I do. I compliment Effie's hair, and she gets to talking about how much she likes Katniss' mocking jay pin, and that her wig matches it. It does, I hadn't pieced the two together before. She suggests we all wear something gold so we resemble a team.

"That's a good idea, isn't it Haymitch?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Haymitch is angry because I took his liquor away and he isn't allowed to drink. Finally, Katniss says "Maybe we should get you a wig too." Talking to Haymitch. It's the first joke I've heard from her, still, she doesn't look up from her plate. And she looks like she'd just like to go to sleep.

When we watch the recaps of the previous Hunger Games after dinner, I'm busy taking notes. Haymitch is not really watching, though he glances at the screen occasionally when he recognizes a name. Effie is making comments about the previous victors that are a little insensitive, but she doesn't know better. Katniss seems to be concentrating really hard at the lineup of victors we'll be fighting.

Everyone else goes to sleep. I just sit there, ripping pages out of my notebook of the victors that weren't chosen. I have to make room for additional notes on the ones that were chosen. "Why don't you get some sleep?" I ask her.

"What are you going to do?"

"Just review my notes awhile. Get a clear picture of what we're up against. But I'll go over it with you in the morning. Go to bed, Katniss."

A few hours later, she comes back out, and I realize a lot more time has gone by than I thought. She tells me she couldn't really sleep. She pulls her robe tight around her, and shudders. That's when I realize she had another nightmare. "Want to talk about it?" I say. I hold out my arms, and she accepts the invitation.

I don't know what was going through my head or hers. There were no cameras, there were no eyes to fool. There was no façade to act to. There was no script. But we were here, and this was real. At first, I just cradled her in my arms, but then she wrapped her arms around my neck, and she moved closer. Then I moved even closer still, until my head was in her hair. The scent was intoxicating, and then, as if by instinct, I moved my head down, and my lips caressed her neck. I was surprised when she didn't push me away. I wanted to kiss her then, but I was afraid. Of the rejection that I was almost sure would follow the kiss. But she moved her head up, to where our foreheads were touching, and we were looking deep into the other's eyes. Our faces moved closer, and my lips were almost on hers when a Capitol attendant walked in, and it was over.

He stumbled, caught off guard by the almost-kiss he walked in on. Though I don't know why he seemed surprised. The Capitol is very well aware of our "Romance" or at least the one we have on camera. I'm not really sure what we have off camera.

We go from, whatever that was, to strictly competitors. We sip our warm milk that the attendant brought us, and then she asks me what I was watching. After I told her I was watching a Games, I told her to pick one. She suggested watching Haymitch's games. It felt like an invasion of his privacy. But we both agreed to not tell him we saw it. And my curiosity got the best of me, so we watched it.

Katniss' mother's friend, named Maysilee Donner, was called up, and then we both understood the significance of the pin that Madge gave to her. Maysilee Donner wore it in her games, then her sister, Madge's mother, held onto it. Katniss now wears it. And it's how people recognize her now. Haymitch isn't the only one to have ever called her "mocking jay". I've heard it in town, I've heard it from my father, and even my mother. I've even heard Effie say it once. Though I don't think she knows where it came from.

Haymitch is the male tribute who stands next to Maysilee that day, twenty-five years ago. "Oh, Peeta you don't think he killed Maysilee, do you?" Could he have killed her? Of course. Did he? Probably not. "With forty-eight players? I'd say the odds are against it." I don't know any more than she does, but me saying I doubted it seemed to comfort her a little bit.

Haymitch, I have to admit, is kind of funny in his interview with Caesar Flickerman on the tape. He's just as arrogant as usual. Just not drunk. Katniss says, "He didn't have to reach that far, did he?"

As we watch the games, we're both amazed at just how smart Maysilee ended up being. She'd gotten darts in a small backpack, and the poisonous fruits were so easy to find. They were the easiest to obtain. She'd coated the darts with the poison, and got herself pretty far in the Games. Haymitch is smart too. I think both Katniss and I are overjoyed when we see Maysilee and Haymitch team up in the games. But then the reality sets in. She dies eventually.

When there were only five left, Maysilee and Haymitch parted ways. Haymitch was dead set on figuring out the force field on the edge of the arena. She wanted to go get things over with. I don't blame her.

I'm thoroughly shocked when Haymitch runs to Maysilee after she screams. A tear falls from his eyes as she dies in his arms. Neither of us have seen Haymitch in this way. So I hold on to Katniss tighter. Then we see Haymitch use the force field to kill the last tribute. The remaining tribute throws an axe at Haymitch, who has positioned himself in the perfect position. The axe falls, but then bounces right back up and kills the other tribute. Haymitch wins.

When I flip off the tape, we discuss his strategy. I begin. "That force field at the bottom of the cliff, it was like the one on the roof of the Training Center. The one that throws you back if you try to commit suicide. Haymitch found a way to turn it into a weapon."

"Not just against the other tributes, but the Capitol too. You know they didn't expect that to happen. It wasn't meant to be a part of the arena. They never planned on anyone using it as a weapon. It made them look stupid that he figured it out. I bet they had a good time trying to spin that one. Bet that's why I don't remember seeing it on television. It's almost as bad as us and the berries!" She tells me. She starts laughing, but I can't understand why.

"Almost, but not quite," says a voice behind us. I turn around and see Haymitch.

**A/N: And with that, I'm halfway through Catching Fire. I can't believe how fast this is going by, and I'm already starting to come up with ideas for Mockingjay. **


	10. The Undoing

**A/N: I want to take a minute to thank you all for the reviews. Most of you write stories also, so you know how encouraging it is to see that people enjoy reading your story. I actually thought about taking the letter to Gale out of the last chapter, because there was already a lot of emotion in the last two chapters and I didn't want to overdo it. This is more of a tragedy than a romance after all. But, seeing that you guys liked it, I'm glad I decided to leave it in.**

My stylists didn't say anything to me, nor make eye contact with me. I'm not sure if it's because they really feel bad about our unbelievable streak of bad luck, or if they feel ashamed for being a part of it. I think about saying something to them, then decide not to. Consoling them is not my problem. I'm the one facing my death.

Once I'm all ready for Portia to get me into our costume, they begin to walk out the door; And I realize that I'm not the type of person to think of only myself even though I'm the one going into the arena. So I say, "Wait."

"What are your names, even?" They look at each other, and then I feel bad for not learning their names the first time. "I'm sorry, last year I was just so stressed out I hadn't thought to even ask."

The two female stylists names, I learn are Nova and Vega. "Nice to officially meet you." I say, and they both come up to me and hug me. They don't pull back for awhile, and when they do both of my shoulders are slightly damp and they are getting their bright orange eyeliner off, it'd run down their cheeks, they must have been crying. The male stylists name is Vox. "Nova, Vega, don't cry. We can't give him that burden."

"Really, it's okay." I say. Still, the two girls go into the bathroom in my room, and begin fixing their make up in the mirror.

Vox puts his hands on my shoulders. "I'm very sorry." He looks around the room, looking for cameras. He can't see any, and neither can I, but they're there. I don't have to ask what he is sorry for, I already know without him risking his life by speaking it when the Capitol may be listening.

"You're a good kid, and I've done this a long time. I've never gotten attached to any other tributes before. You, I'm sorry to see go."

"Thank you."

It's quiet for a few moments, then he sighs. "Well, I better get you to Portia. You'll like what she puts you in." He says, and I think I see the beginning of a tear form in his eye, but he's gone before I see it fall.

Portia runs into the room and immediately hugs me. "Peeta, I'm so, so sorry. This is absolutely horrid!"

I feel my eyes widen. "Shh." I say. She looks around for the cameras. "I don't care anymore."

"I'll miss you too Portia."

"I should have never signed up for this job."

"You're good at it. Don't speak that way."

"I barely held myself together last time, now I'm a complete wreck."

I know the only way to get Portia to feel slightly better is to channel herself into her work, so I ask her about the costume that Vox said I'd love.

In ten minutes, I'm dressed in a more amazing outfit than even last time. "Am I matching Katniss again?"

"Absolutely."

I look into the mirror. I'm dressed in an all black jumpsuit that resembles coal. When I get close to the fire glowing in the hearth in my room, the suit reacts and gives the impression of burning coal. "It's incredible." Portia smiles. "You haven't seen anything yet."

She then pushes a button on the inside of my wrist, and one on the back of the black metal crown I'm wearing. As I look in the mirror, the illusion of burning coal looks red now, not black. In some places, it even looks blue. And the colors shift like I am _actually _a piece of burning coal. "How…" I start to say.

"Your suit is made from ten percent pure diamond dust. The button on your crown and on your wrist activates a tiny ultraviolet light hidden in your crown, and then when ultraviolet light is cast on the diamonds, it makes it look like you're a burning ember."

I'm speechless.

When I do manage to stop staring at myself like I'm as vain as my mother, I thank Portia for the incredible job and for her friendship and support. She gives me one last hug. "Cinna and I won't be there this time. When it's time, you and Katniss push the buttons and you will outshine the other opponents, just like last year."

"Should I wave?"

"No, not this time. They don't deserve it. You're to look straight ahead. Don't even look at yourself on the screen. Pretend you're not even there."

"Gotcha." Though I'm not sure if I actually do. Can I do that? It isn't in my nature.

By the time I reach the bottom of the building, where we'll get onto the chariots, Katniss is already being hit on by Finnick Odair. I know him, he's a Casanova, I've heard. But I get the feeling that the women he seduces are the equal to the liquor that Haymitch consumes. I have a feeling he's not a bad guy. But I do need to go and save Katniss, who looks incredibly uncomfortable.

"What did Finnick Odair want?"

She puts her lips less than an inch from mine, and does something with her eyes that I haven't seen her do before. She speaks in a low voice when she says, "He offered me sugar and wanted to know my secrets."

I laugh, partly because it's funny, but mostly because my heart is beating so fast in my chest I don't know what else to do with myself. "

"Ugh. Not really."

"Really. I'll tell you more when my skin stops crawling."

I look around the room, and everyone has their "thing." The thing that Haymitch has. Haymitch has his liquor, Finnick has his women, some girl named Johanna looks like she is the female version of Finnick, and someone else, whose name I can't recall, is shaking from withdrawal from something. I am thankful that Katniss and I haven't become like that. Maybe since there were two of us that won. We had each other, so we didn't need anything to kill the pain other than each other's support and understanding.

"Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had won? Just another part of the freak show?"

"Sure. Especially you."

"Oh. And why especially me?"

"Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don't."

She mimics a Capitol tone and holds her head high, pretending to wave herself with a fan, the way we see most women in the Capitol doing it. Then she says, "They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you'd be lost entirely."

She is making fun of them, but I don't think they can hear with all the other conversations going on around us, still, I don't mock them with her, just in case. We don't need any other trouble.

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as weakness. Except possibly when it comes to you." She doesn't say anything, and I realize she is uncomfortable when I say things like that just as she is when anyone else does, like Finnick. Why can't she take a compliment?

I don't have time to insist that she believe it. Because the music comes to life with a roar of cheers from the crowd, the doors are opening. I hold out my hand to help her into the chariot. She climbs up then pulls me up. She straightens up my crown, tells me we'll be fabulous again, and I smile, because I know. She asks me where Cinna and Portia are, and though Portia told me they wouldn't be here, I didn't think to ask where they _would _be.

We turn on the uv lights, and we are very near to the door, when people sitting in the stadium very close to the doors begin pointing to us. I'm not sure if it's our outfits, or if they are pointing and clapping and cheering because it's _us._ Probably both.

"Are we supposed to hold hands this year?"

"I guess they've left it up to us." But I'm hoping she chooses to take my hand.

She reaches directly for my hand without even hesitating, and when we come out into full eyesight of the audience, we do exactly as we're told. No waving, no cheering. Though I do manage to steal a glance at the tv monitors. We're both magnificent looking, but of course she steals the show. She's the one who volunteered for her sister. The one who would have won the hunger games much sooner had she not saved me, but then she chose to save me anyway. The one that so blatantly defied the Capitol, the one with the nerve, the mocking jay.

Snow, which I will be calling him from now on-he doesn't deserve the title of President- introduces us like they haven't met us all before. I'm not paying attention though, because the tributes from 6 are staring us down and shaking violently. I'm wondering what the hell they've been on. "This year, we've got a special Hunger Games, and I'm pleased to say it will be the most exciting yet." The crowd cheers, but after he says that, his evil eyes are staring directly at us. No, not us. Her.

They play the anthem, they play the propoganda film showing why the districts are punished each year, blaming the rebels and all that crap. I don't want to listen, but I can't look at the crowd either. So I lean towards Katniss and whisper to her. "Why can't you ever take a compliment?" She glares at me. "What?"

"Earlier, you said I had an eye for beauty and I said _especially _when it came to you."

She doesn't answer for a moment, but I'm still watching her, so she has to say something.

"I didn't make the connection." I smile.

"Of course you didn't."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means you think you're undeserving. Though I can't imagine why."

She shakes her head and I sigh.

"See the women in the crowd? They all want to _be _you. See the men? They're all in _love _with you. Except for that one in all pink, I think he's in love with _me._"

She laughs, and has to stop herself from drawing attention. We have to pretend to be paying attention, and we have to keep the conversation to a whisper.

"That's not true." It's so ridiculous that I laugh.

"Finnick hit on you."

"Only because I'm a challenge for him."

Then the music comes back to life and our chariots turn back around, to go back into the training center. I bump her elbow to get her attention.

"What now?"

"You look stunning." She realizes that I'm not going to stop until she takes the damn compliment, so she blushes, and turns away so I don't see it. "Thank you."

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Back in the training center, the tributes from District 11 come over to greet us. We're competitors, and we're from different districts, but I still feel like we are one and the same. The woman hugs Katniss who then asks her about the families, and she tells her that they're alive. She has a look of relief but it's quickly replaced with a mixed look of shock and embarassment, when the male tribute, Haymitch's friend Chaff, puts an arm around Katniss and kisses her. She jerks back, trying to figure out what just happened, and Chaff and Haymitch are laughing uncontrollably at the look on her face when he did that. I kind of laugh too.

All of the tributes seem more alike than they were last year, like they're all friends. Which is partly true. Everyone in the room has been through the Hunger Games, so we all know where each other comes from. The Capitol officiates are clearly not okay with it, though, because we're rushed into the elevators after only a few minutes.

When we're walking back, I reach for Katniss' hand and we walk to the elevator, when Johanna Mason, the girl from 7 comes up and attempts to chat with Katniss, who, of course, seems uncomfortable. Her talent is supposed to be fashion but she knows nothing about it.

When the elevator doors open, Johanna strips down, completely. She stands there right next to Katniss and I, stark naked, save for the slippers she's got on her feet. I'm trying to control my laughter. It's hilarious. I know Johanna did this for the same reason that Chaff kissed her and Finnick hit on her. They think she is too innocent, and they know it will make her severely uncomfortable.

"So Peeta," Johanna says, looking at me. _Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. _

"Hm?"

"Your talent is painting, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you could paint me? You know, like this?" I looked.

"Probably. But that's not the best idea." I say.

"Of course. I forgot about your engagement." She says.

"So Katniss, maybe he could paint the both of us this way."

This is the funniest conversation I've had in my entire life. Katniss is using all she has to look straight ahead, and her arms are crossed, and I know she just wants this elevator ride to be over with. But we've got a few floors. She's probably still getting used to the fact that Johanna is naked, that it takes her awhile to register the question. When she does, she gives a short, nervous laugh. "WOW this elevator ride is long."

She looks at me. "Shouldn't we be at the top by now?" Then the elevator dings.

"This is my floor. Nice chatting with the both of you." She steps out, and a voice behind us says, "Well, that was…interesting." It's Chaff. I just noticed that he and Seeder are standing behind us. I guess I was so fixated on not staring at Johanna that I didn't notice. They get off on floor eleven, and as soon as Katniss and I are alone in the elevator, she tosses my hand aside. "What the hell was that?"

"Are you jealous?""No." I smirk. Yes she is.

We get out on our floor. I bust out laughing, I'd been holding it in for so long. She spins towards me, "What?"

"It's you Katniss, can't you see?"

"What's me?"

"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure the stripping was for _your _benefit." She says.

I try to be more serious, but I'm still trying not to laugh. "They're playing with you because you're so…you know."

"No. I don't know."

"It's like when you wouldn't look at me naked in the arena even though I was half-dead. You're so…pure."

I can tell I struck a nerve.

"I am not! I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!"

Now I laugh harder, and she glares at me. The closest she's gotten to "ripping my clothes off" was when she accidentally tore the shoulder of my shirt with a necklace Cinna put on her. But she's at her boiling point, so I don't bring it up.

"Yeah, but I mean, for the Capitol, you're pure. For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you."

"No, they're laughing at me, and so are you!"

I shake my head. "No."

I notice that when we were "arguing" she moved a lot closer to me. We stand only a foot apart now, and we seem to notice it at the same time. You can cut the angry tension with a knife. But then her look of anger fades, and I start to wonder if it's angry tension between us, or, some other kind. But then Haymitch and Effie are standing over us.

"Looks like they've got you a matched set this year." Effie says, motioning to the Avoxes in the corner. The color drains from Katniss' face, but I'm still trying to figure out who it is that I recognize. Then the image of Gale being whipped comes to mind, and I put the pieces together and realize that it's Darius.

Haymitch grabs Katniss' wrist, because he doesn't know what she might do. But I know better. She's smart, and she knows that any wrong move on her part could cause punishment for him. She twists her arm and nearly runs straight into Effie. When she goes in her room and locks the door, Effie puts her hand over her chest. "Oh my, manners!" She calls after Katniss, but she's already locked in her room. Haymitch looks at me and shakes his head.

"I know," I say. I can't speak to Darius either. Not here, anyway. I don't really know what else to do, so I just go to my room.

The sobs come to me when my head hits the pillow, but I allow myself only two minutes of sadness. I have to be strong. Built up anger will help me in the games.


	11. The Alliance

Katniss joins us for dinner, but only because she has to. Then when Effie calls us into the common area to watch the recaps of the parade, she looks at the empty couch cushion next to me, but then purposely pushes Haymitch and Cinna aside and wedges herself in between them. She is obviously trying to say she's unhappy with me for messing with her earlier, but I can't apologize right now. Effie won't approve of my teasing, and it's none of hers or anyone else's business anyway.

After the viewing, Katniss goes straight to her room. Then Cinna and Portia and Effie retire as well. Haymitch and I sit on the couch still, I don't think I can sleep yet. "Drink?" He asks.

"No, thanks. And you shouldn't drink either."

"I shouldn't do a lot of things. So about that little argument earlier…"

"How much did you hear?"

"Most of it. Effie was appalled at you two. Her for getting so angry and you for teasing her. But of course she didn't stop it, because she's from the Capitol. She needs drama for entertainment."

"What about it?"

"What you said is true. About them picking on her because they think she's pure."

"So? She is."

"I know that, you know that, but no one else needs to. It will just make her a target in the arena."

"How so? They won't attack her just because of that."

"No, they won't. But she's the only one who they think is pure. And you too, but it's worse for her because she's female. You both already have enough attention on you because of the last games."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, neither of you need another reason to be singled out; the more you blend in with the rest of them, the better. You both won't be on their mind, and they will take you both more seriously."

"Okay, so what's your point?"

"You've got to fix that."

Okay. There's no way he just said what I think he said.

"Um, _what?_" He shakes his head.

"No. That's not what I mean. I mean just give them a reason to see you both as more of a threat, that's all. Do something like you did last year, at the interview. Except, the opposite. Instead of making yourselves stand out, make it look like you're both just like the rest of them- deadly."

"I'm sorry, are you crazy? Do you remember what happened last year after admitting I had a crush on her? She pushed me into a vase. Do you realize what she'd do if I even _hinted _at _anything _like that?"

"I'm sorry, would you like to keep her alive, or not?"

I sigh. "Yeah. Is there anything else I can do?"

"Either make yourselves blend in, or think of some other way to keep yourselves alive. But I don't think there's anything you can actually say to convince anyone not to go after you."

I don't dream tonight, but I still have trouble sleeping. I wake up in a cold sweat every so often, and every time I start to doze off again, I feel uncomfortable and can't breathe. I need air, so I go up to the roof. The air feels good. It's a little cold, but it's soothing somehow. I can think up here.

I look down at the city streets. There are Capitol children playing with swords, like they're in the Hunger Games. But the Capitol children never have to go. They also treat it like some sort of entertainment, they don't see that it's wrong. I wish that someday I wouldn't have to worry about my children being reaped, should I have any. Then what Haymitch said replays in my mind.

"_Either make yourselves blend in, or think of some other way to keep yourselves alive. But I don't think there's anything you can actually say to convince anyone to not go after you."_

I think there is.

My plan is brilliant. Not only will it make us look not-so-innocent, but it will also give them a reason not to kill us, or at least, not to kill her. I just hope she doesn't kill me for it before we even get into the arena.

When I come back down, I hear stirring in her room, and she's probably having a nightmare. She's mad at me, so she probably won't let me in, but I knock anyway. Maybe I can tell her my plan ahead of time, but she'd either convince me not to go through with it or it wouldn't work as well because she already knew. So I elect not to say anything. But it doesn't matter anyway, because she doesn't open the door.

Haymitch, Effie, and I are the first ones at breakfast the next morning. "Where's Katniss?" He asks me.

"I don't know."

"You don't keep your routine anymore? Maybe that's why you look like hell. You didn't sleep well."

"Wow, thanks Haymitch. And no. Her door stayed shut and locked all night."

"Boo hoo. Anyway, you've got two jobs for training."

"Blend in and stay alive?"

"Stay in love, and make friends."

"Make friends? Isn't that only what the careers do?"

"Well, now you're going to do it too."

"I don't really see the point of making an alliance and then killing each other when the time comes."

"Because there is strength in numbers. Come on, you should know that by now. Teaming up with the careers last year."

"I did that per YOUR advice."

"You would have done it anyway."

"You're impossible."

"Well!" Effie interrupts. "Not that this isn't perfectly nice to listen to, but shouldn't Katniss be here too?" Haymitch stands up and pushes his chair underneath the table swiftly.

"Yes, she should." He stomps off to go and wake her. Effie looks at me.

"At least he doesn't smell like liquor this morning."

"True."

Haymitch returns nearly pulling Katniss into the dining area. "Sit." He tells her. She does so, but kind of gives him a "F*ck off" smile.

He repeats the two things to her, and she says the same thing I did, almost.

"No. I don't trust any of them. I can't stand most of them, and I'd rather operate with just the two of us."

"That's what I said at first, but-"

"But", Haymitch insists, "it won't be enough."

"Why?" She asks him.

"Because you're at a distinct disadvantage. Your competitors have known each other for years, so who do you think they're going to target first?"

"Us, and nothing we're going to do is going to override any old friendship, so why bother?"

She and Haymitch go on about making desirable allies, how I joined the careers last year, which, by the way, just gave her another reason to keep shutting me out. Then Haymitch suggest we don't necessarily have to fight with the Careers, we just have to make our own, distinct group.

"I don't think I'll be able to fool anyone, or even convince anyone to be on my side." She says, "but I'll try."

"No, you _will._" He tells her.

Haymitch convinces Effie it will look better on us if we go to the Training Center by ourselves this time, so we find ourselves alone in the elevator. Before the doors open, I grab her hand. "We have to look inseparable, remember?" She nods.

Only the District 2 tributes, possibly the most deadly, were here before us. She leans towards me and says in a low voice. "Anyone but the careers from 1 and 2, please."

"Agreed." I remember Kyra from district 4 last year. I hadn't really thought about her since she'd been killed by the tracker jackers in the last Games. She was the only one of the careers who was a fighter, but had a sense of remorse. We become friends, kind of. District 4 are technically careers, but if Finnick and Mags are anything like the two from 4 last year, it might be smart to team up with them.

Katniss suggests we split up to scout possible allies. So I go over to where Chaff and Brutus are throwing spears. Brutus, from 2, will definitely not be smart to team up with, but I know I want Chaff.

I look at where Katniss is every now and then, and I notice Finnick with his arms around her, flirtatiously helping her tie a knot. I think Finnick is a smart choice, if only because he wants her. He won't kill her until the very end.

Awhile later, I see her and the tributes from District 3 using flint to make fires. She seems to get along with them rather well, smiling and laughing occasionally, but to be honest, I don't see how they'd be of any help to us.

"Hey 12, over here," someone calls out to me. I turn to the knife station. "Come here." He says. I study his face and remember that his name is Woof, from District 8. He's standing next to Blight, Johanna's district partner. I go over there. Of course I don't trust them, but I want to know about what my dad said about District 8. Plus, Brutus and Gloss- the guys from 2 and 1 didn't try to kill me. So I'm sure 7 and 8 won't.

"Throw this." Woof tells me.

"Why?"

"We just want to see how you are."

"I'm not good."

"Maybe we can fix that."

I throw the knife, and it doesn't even hit the target. Woof says, "Here, let me help you."

He stands almost as close to me as Finnick was to Katniss, and it makes me really uncomfortable, for obvious reasons. But then I know why he called me over, then why he got so close, then why is he pretending to show me how to hold the knife. He is close enough to talk to me without cameras or mics picking it up.

"Are the rumors true?" He says, barely above a whisper.

"Which rumors?" I ask him.

"Not the ones about you and the girl, the other ones."

"I want to know about the rumors of him and the girl," Blight says, before Woof elbows him and tells him to shut up.

"I don't really know what you mean…" He rolls his eyes at me.

"About, you know, the war."

"What war?" I say, almost too loudly.

"Shh!" He tells me. "You trying to get us killed?"

"Sorry. What war?" I say, whispering now, "I've only heard about the uprisings in the other districts, with 8 leading them, _your_ district."

He looks around, just to be sure."There's rumors that 13 is still functional. And that they're just waiting for the opportune moment to rise up and ally with the other districts, provide weapons and such." He says, "and _she's _the face of it," he adds, nodding in Katniss' direction.

"The face of what?"

"The face of the war. She's the Mockingjay."

People in 12 call her the Mockingjay because of the pin Madge gave her to wear in the last Games. I had no idea her pin and her name had spread across so many districts. "You know about that name?"

"Yeah. You think someone could defy the Capitol and _not _be remembered? Of course, no one can directly refer to her as Katniss Everdeen, or the Capitol's suspicions that she sparked this would be confirmed, and she'd be in danger. So we refer to her as the Mockingjay."

I had no idea just how big this movement really is. I knew she was known in the other districts, but I didn't know she was the face of a possible rebellion, and the thought scares me. She's already in so much danger, I'd hate for her to be in even more.

"I've heard of uprisings, but that's all. I haven't heard anything about 13."

"Okay. Well, we'll do what we can to keep her alive, until, you know, we don't have another option." Then he takes the knife from my hand and throws it, hitting the target directly where the heart would be.


	12. The Mockingjay

**A/N: Prepare for a long chapter. I couldn't figure out where to split it.**

"Don't let them intimidate you, Peeta." Says Johanna, who comes up to me and flirtatiously bumps into my arm.

"Are you allergic to clothing?" I say, averging my eyes.

"Oh, sorry," she says sarcastically. "I was wrestling. That's why I'm so oily." She says, with _way_ too much enthusiasm. I really can't bear to be in this situation much longer. I know she is doing this because she thinks that I am pure as well. She is trying to make me nervous, but it can't work.

"You should have more respect for yourself." I say to her, pulling off my shirt. I pass it to her, and she holds it in her hand for a minute, like she doesn't know what to do with it.

"Come on. Put it on. I know you remember how." I tease. She slips the shirt on. "You must be crazy." She says. "Your girlfriend won't like that my oily naked body is in your shirt. What's she doing over there, anyway?" Johanna asks me.

"Talking to 3 it looks like. I can't remember their names." Their names are Wiress and Beetee, I am just desperate to change the subject.

"Nuts and Volts."

"Those aren't _really _their names, right?"

"I don't know. No one is really paying attention to them, they aren't a threat. Nuts is crazy, and Volts is on the verge of it."

"Who made up those names? Kinda harsh."

She shrugs, then Finnick catches her eye and he comes to join us. Shocker.

"Hey Peeka. Hey Johanna."

"Uh, it's Peeta."

"I'm sure it is. Where's Katniss?"

"She's over there making friends with the crazies," Johanna tells him.

"Ah, Nuts and Volts?" He asks, to which she nods.

Finnick and Johanna engage in a flirtatious conversation with each other and they are too involved in themselves to notice when lunch is announced.

In the dining area, I stand with Johanna and Finnick, who are suggesting to a few more people that we actually push some of these tables together.

"If we're going to die, why not go out with a bang?" One of them says. So we push. If the Capitol could see all the tributes eating together, talking, laughing, they'd feel stupid. And that's worth it. So I help push the tables together, and the only ones who don't join us at the table are Katniss and 3, because they just walked in, and 2, but that is no surprise. I drift out of the conversation going on and watch Katniss get her tray of stew. I'm hoping she'll catch my eye so she will come and join us, but when she sees us, she turns away, so I get up and catch up to her.

"How's it going?'

"Good. Fine. I like the District 3 victors, Wiress and Beetee."

"Really? They're something of a joke to the others."

She rolls her eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"Johanna's nicknamed them Nuts and Volts. I think she's Nuts and he's Volts."

"And I'm so stupid for thinking they might be useful because of something Johanna Mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling."

Ouch. "Actually, I think the nickname's been around for years, and I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just sharing information."

"Well, Wiress and Beetee are smart. They invent things. They could tell by sight that a force field had been put up between us and the Gamemakers. And if we have to have allies, I want them." She says, looking at me with such intensity. Then when she tosses the ladle back in the pot with gravy, splattering us both, it's clear she's mad.

"What are you so angry about? Because I teased you on the elevator? I'm sorry, I thought you would just laugh about it."

"Forget it," she says, which sounds bad, but she seems calmer now. "It's a lot of things."

I bring up Darius, but she says it isn't only him. I remind her that it can't be just us, then she tells me that she knows, and is just upset that Haymitch is right again. "Believe me, I know how you feel. He's right a lot of the time, it's frustrating." But she doesn't answer, she's looking at my chest.

"Peeta? Where's your shirt?"

"Uh, Johanna…"

"Johanna…?"

"She came up to me all oily and I just told her to cover herself up."

"Oh," she says, somewhat doubtful.

"No, really. She's a better match for, say, Finnick." She smiles.

"Look, you can have final say about our allies. But right now, I'm leaning toward Chaff and Seeder." I knew she'd be unhappy with Chaff. She said she'd be okay with Seeder, but not Chaff, but I convince her to at least give him a chance, telling her that I won't let him kiss her again, and she laughs before following me back to the table.

Back in the training center, Katniss expands her acquaintances, meeting with the district 1 tributes, 8, and then even a few minutes with Enobaria, a girl from 2. I, in the meantime, am set on getting Finnick to join our team. "I don't know," he says. "She's hot, but she's dangerous."

"Dangerous only if you aren't on our team," I say, side stepping the "hot" comment.

"What's in it for me?"

"Uh, you stay alive longer maybe?"

"How will you and Katniss make that happen? Why should I join you over the Careers?"

"Just see what she can do." I say.

I turn and pull Finnick towards the archery area, and she's hitting every bird thrown into the air.

"She's good. But I'm sure I could hit at least half of those."

"Just keep watching," I tell him, and as soon as I say it, the trainer launches five birds at once, and all five fall to the ground, each shattering in three equal pieces, and falling the same distance apart. A five time precision shot.

Finnick's jaw is dropped, and Mags behind him, is just watching Katniss and smiling, like she already knows what she can do. As I look around, everyone is watching. He elbows me to get my attention. "I was already planning on joining you anyway, I just wanted to see your faith in her. It reminds me of someone back home."

At first, I didn't believe him. Who would? But then Mags, who I already know is trustworthy, nods her head and touches my arm, and then I believe him. "Well, good."

The announcer announces the end of the training day. Katniss is the first to leave, since everyone is still watching her, then I follow her. She's walking so fast I have to half-trot to keep up. "Slow down," I tell her.

"No," she says, looking straight ahead, so I jump into a hallway and pull her in with me. We're concealed in the shadows of the hallway while we watch everyone else head to the elevators, when they are gone, I take both her arms. "You don't have to run from them yet."

"It's just always been so easy for you."

"What?"

"Just, people. You have a way with them, I froze when they were staring at me."

"Why? You're good, Katniss. You're so good at it. They weren't judging you, they were admiring you. There it is again- you can't take a compliment, even a silent one." She pushes my arms back, but then I stop her from leaving. I come closer, and so she moves back, until her back is lined up against the wall. I move closer still, and put my hand against the wall to her right. "You don't always have to be so strong. It's okay to just be a seventeen-year-old, especially now."

"You don't under…" she starts to say, but then she looks up and to the right, like she's remembering something. "I'm seventeen?" I nod.

"Happy Birthday." I tell her. It's no surprise that she completely forgot about it. I did, too, and that was even before the Games. Birthdays take a back seat when you're in the Games, or in the aftermath of them.

"I'm sorry I missed yours."

"You didn't. We were on the beach in District 4. We snuck away from the cameras, and we went swimming. Well, you went swimming, I waded in for a few feet but you know I can't swim."

"But I," She starts to say.

"I watched you in the water, and you looked…free. You looked happy, and that was my happy birthday." She smiles and looks down before meeting my eyes again. "Why are you so compassionate?" She asks me. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and tell her, "Because, I have reason to be."

It's silent for a moment, and we get close to kissing again. And, just like last time, just before our lips touch, Plutarch Heavensbee clears his throat. We both turn suddenly to face him.

"I won't be having any of that nonsense in my training center. Go on up to your rooms. Your _separate_ rooms." He says, before walking away.

I remember thinking, during the celebration in the Capitol, that Plutarch seems different from other Gamemakers. And I feel that way now. Even as he "scolded" us, he walked away, smiling and shaking his head.

"He always knows the right times to show up," she says, and I don't know if she is being sarcastic, or truthful. But I hope it's the first one.

The potential spark of real love between she and I was snuffed out by Plutarch, and, earlier, the Capitol attendant. But I suppose it doesn't matter, since we'll only have each other for a few more days anyway. Even if there was a spark, it wouldn't have a chance to catch fire. She wouldn't have a chance to fall for me.

Still, I'm thankful for the moment in the hall because she's not mad any longer. We're back to being good friends. We even mock each other back in the common area on our floor while we wait for Haymitch and Effie. "Look, I'm you," She says, tossing a pillow across the room. "Are you making fun of me?" I ask playfully.

In a Capitol accent, she says, "No, why ever would you think that?" And immediately I give a sly smile before jumping off the couch and chasing her. She shrieks and runs away. She picks up the pillow and launches it at me, but it misses. Then I tell her, "Did Katniss Everdeen just _miss?_"

She runs around the couch, but I trick her by jumping over it and I wrap her in my arms while we fall back onto the couch. "Got you." I say.

"You did. But I never miss," she says, tracing her finger over my bare chest, where my heart is. "If I wanted to hit you, I would have."

"Is that Effie?" I say. Katniss sits up and listens, and sure enough, Effie and Haymitch are coming down the hall. We look at each other, and we both, at the same time, realize that we are both slightly out of breath from running, and her hair is a bit messed up, and I'm still shirtless.

"Won't Effie have fun trying to spin this around," she says. And just before the door opens, she flattens her hair and I go into my room to grab a shirt.

They didn't seem to suspect anything, which is a relief, since the last time was so awkward. As soon as we sit down, Haymitch folds his hands and looks at Katniss. "So at least half the victors have instructed their mentors to request you as an ally. I know it can't be your sunny personality." Before she has an opportunity to say anything negating her abilities, I say, "They saw her shoot."

"Actually," I go on, "I saw her shoot, for real, for the first time. I'm about to put in a formal request for myself."

Haymitch asks her if she's that good, which she, of course, just shrugs to. She tells him she wants the District 3 tributes, and his response is a sigh and a "Of course you do."

The next few days of training go by quickly, but smoothly. Katniss has gained an enormous amount of respect, and everyone is willing to work with her in the training center. Finnick is working with her too, but has instructed me not to inform her that he is our ally yet, I'm not sure why.

The night before the final evaluation, she joins me on the rooftop, after she couldn't sleep again. "I knew I could find you up here."

"I'm not hard to predict."

"Most people are. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that I have to fight some of these people in a few days."

"I think most people struggle with that. I know I do. But in the end, everyone has the same goal."

"Except you." She says. Yes, my goal is to get her out safely.

"You can't protect me forever."

I can't think of something to say. Mostly, I don't want to start a fight. We don't have a lot of time left together, and it's pointless to argue. "Let's go inside," I say. "It's cold."

Once we get inside, she looks down the hall where she and Effie's rooms are. "Will you stay with me?"

"Yeah."

We both wake up very well rested. Which is good, because I'll need my mind working. Katniss and I are finally alone waiting for my name to be called, and I don't have anything to do. She tells me, "I don't know how we're going to kill these people, Peeta." I reach for her hand and lean my forehead down on our entwined fingers. "I don't know." As time gets closer, that question gets harder to answer.

Once I'm called, I go in and I stand in front of the Gamemakers, who, this time, are paying attention. I go over to the camouflage section and prepare to show them I can use it well, if only because I've no other ideas. But then my eyes set on a few colors, all right next to each other, as if the colors were speaking to me. A beautiful blend of purple, white, and yellow. The color of the flowers Katniss placed on Rue's chest after she died. I remember her telling me, before I was called.

"_I don't want them as allies. It'll only make it so much harder than last time. Except for Rue, maybe. But I don't think I could have killed her anyway, she was just too much like Prim."_

I remember watching the tape of her being reaped. I remember the scared look on the little girl's face. I remember her shadowing Katniss, and how small she was. I remember seeing her innocent, young face on the television, asking Katniss to sing to her.

I told Katniss that Rue's death was the most despicable, and as I look up at the Gamemakers, so are they. They are despicable for letting this happen, and I will show it to them.

It takes me a good forty minutes, after assembling all my supplies, and I've successfully angled my body so that they couldn't see what I was doing until I was finished. Once they saw, most of them had disgusted looks, like they couldn't believe I did that. But I don't care. Plutarch is the only one who didn't. He pretended not to be paying attention. But it took forty minutes to complete, and I'm sure Plutarch saw it.

Before I even walk out the door, Avoxes have been called to clean it up. Can't have that picture there, can they? The guilt might get to them, if they had a heart.

I stand in the shower for a long time, but I can't get the paint completely off of my hands. After awhile, my stomach began to growl and I gave up. Effie has already come to get me twice, and I told her I'd be right there, as I just threw on a shirt and sweats. I didn't bother to dry my hair.

At dinner, Katniss takes a good look at my hands, and raises her eyebrow, as if to ask what I did. I'm honestly more curious what she did. She's already on thin ice, so if she did anything like last time, it wouldn't go over very well. Haymitch asks the question that is on everyone's minds. "So, how did it go?" Katniss and I look at each other, before Haymitch turns his attention directly to Katniss. "And please tell me you didn't do something stupid."

She tells me to go first, and I try to get away with saying I just did camouflage. Portia asks me what I did with the dyes I used, eyeing the colors on my hands. They know I'm lying. Yellow and White may camouflage in certain situations, but purple stands out. Katniss knows I painted. But when I asked her if she saw it, she said that she didn't, but she smelled the cleaner. They'd covered it up before calling her in.

Effie asks me if I painted a picture of Katniss. "Why would he paint a picture of me Effie?" She asks, slightly annoyed. But that answer is a little obvious. "I painted a picture of Rue." Haymitch, who was afraid of Katniss doing something stupid, tries to maintain his current volume level when he asks me why. "I'm not sure. I just wanted to hold them accountable for killing that little girl."

Cinna and Portia don't have words, Katniss is staring at me like she approves. Haymitch shakes his head, and Effie says, "This is dreadful. That sort of thinking, Peeta, it's forbidden. You'll only bring down more trouble for you and Katniss."

"I have to agree with Effie on this one," says Haymitch. Katniss sets down her fork with a "cling" and says, "I guess this is a bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's name on it." Then it's quiet until everyone can gather their thoughts.

I'm so incredibly proud of her for it, for her bravery, and her nerve to look them in the eyes while standing next to it.

Effie gets upset and leaves. She says sarcastically that she should have shot some arrows to avoid upsetting Effie, and I give her a smile. "You'd have thought we planned it." She smiles back. Portia says, "Didn't you?"

"No," Katniss begins, "Neither of us even knew what we were going to do before we went in."

"And Haymitch, we decided we don't want any other allies in the arena." Other than Finnick, but I can't say anything.

"Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity."

She says, "That's just what we were thinking."

In the common room, we sit in front of the television screen and anxiously await our scores. We might get a 1, so that way we won't have many sponsors and we'll die of natural causes. But most likely, they'll give us a twelve so that we'll be brutally murdered.

Cinna says there is a first time for everything when Katniss asks if it's possible to get a 0. We both pull a 12. So, we're screwed. I can do everything in my power to get her home, but if we're targeted the way I think we might be, I might not be successful.

After walking her to her room, she hugs me and buries her head in my chest. I embrace her and rest my cheek on the top of her head. I move side to side, slowly. "I'm sorry if I made things worse," she says.

"No more than I did. Why did you do it, anyway?" She tells me that she didn't want to be another piece in their games and I laughed a little, remembering myself saying that one year ago. I looked into her eyes, wanting to say how proud I am of her, but instead, I told her about what's been pressing down on me since the painting was complete- that I might not be able to keep her alive this time. "Me too. And I'm not saying I'm not going to try. To get you home, I mean. But if I'm perfectly honest about it…"

She finishes my train of thought, "If you're perfectly honest about it, you think President Snow has probably given them direct orders to make sure we die in the arena anyway."

"It's crossed my mind. But even if that happens, everyone will know we've gone out fighting, right?"

"Everyone will. So what should we do with our last few days?"

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you."

"Come on, then," she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me into her room.

I reach my hands over my head to pull off my shirt, the way I do every night before I sleep. She dims the lights to a very faint glow so we can sleep. But the light is just enough that she can see me when I get into the other side of the bed. She's staring. "What?"

"Just…" I can tell she wants to give me a compliment, but can't figure out how to say it. But I know what she means when she says, "Just…you don't have scars. On your chest, I mean."

"I've been shirtless in front of you before"

"I know, I just never paid attention before."

I smile and once I'm settled in, she turns the lights out completely.

I wake up on my back. She's got one leg over me, and an arm around me, and this is the first time she's done that. I've held onto her before, but she's never held onto me. It's like, a protective gesture. I enjoy the warmth, and the affection I've longed for since we were in the cave. There was the tour, sure, but again, it was fake. This, where there are no cameras, at least not any we can see, this is real.

She turns her head up to look at me, her hand still resting lightly on my chest. "No nightmares," I tell her.

"No nightmares." Once she says that, she's fully awake, and notices that sometime during the night she's enveloped me, instead of the other way around, so she pulls away. We both lie on our backs awhile, enjoying the sunlight coming through the windows.

An Avox opens the door slightly after awhile, and peeks in, seeing us here together, she gives us a permissive look, asking to come in, to which we nod. She hands Katniss a note, and it's Haymitch and Effie, telling us our training with them has been cancelled, as we are adequate to handle ourselves on stage at the interview the next day. Well, that's what it says. What it means, is, _You're screwed anyway. So enjoy your last full day together._

"Do you know what this means? We'll have the whole day to ourselves." I say.

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere," she tells me in response.

"Who says we can't?"

We had a picnic on the roof of the training center. We had breakfast and lunch up there. It was easy to imagine us sitting in the green grass of the meadow just beyond District 12, happy and carefree. For awhile, we weren't in danger, sitting atop a roof in a busy city. A controlling, horrible city, who wants us dead.

"Let's play a game," She suggests, and I'm so happy that she is finally embracing her life, while she can, instead of trying to be the strong one. Today, she can just be Katniss and I can just be Peeta. "Like what?" I ask her. She throws an apple into the force field, "I don't know." The apple comes back, but I don't see it in time, and it hits me in the forehead, knocking me over.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! You okay?" She's laughing a bit, which is okay, because so am I.

"I don't know. You'd better come closer and look at it."

She lays down then, and leans over me, her face inches from mine. She rubs her thumb over my forehead where the impact was, and then kisses it. "I think it will be fine."

I pick up the apple and throw it back, then tell her to duck, but instead, she catches it. She throws it back, and then I catch it. This game goes on for awhile, until finally the apple is so torn to bits we can't throw it anymore.

Katniss practices tying knots with some branches she picked off a tree, and I sketch her while she's doing it. I show her afterwards. "I can't believe how concentrated I look."

"You look the same way when you're aiming your bow." She backs up to examine my face.

"How do you know that?"

"I pay attention."

By evening, she's lying in front of me, the back of her head in my lap, while I play with her hair. "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."

This comment is a bit straightforward than my usual lovesick comments, but she doesn't get defensive, or scared, or put up a wall. And she doesn't freeze. She says, "Okay."

"Then you'll allow it?" I say, smiling.

"I'll allow it."

She falls asleep, and I am careful not to move so she doesn't wake up. Then when it's close to sunset, I wake her up, telling her she won't want to miss it.

"The color orange. Like a sunset," She says, referencing my favorite color.

"Yes, not like Effie's hair." She laughs, remembering that conversation.

"No, definitely not."

One of Katniss' stylists walks in on us sleeping together in the morning, and bursts into tears, then another one tells her to leave. Which is good, we don't need any more negative emotion.

"You'll be looking like a groom tonight, we'll make you stunning. You'll steal the show," Portia tells me. "Not if Katniss' is in a wedding dress."

"She is, kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Nevermind, not important," Portia says, making sure all the alterations were done just right, and then my hair is done, and my nails are clear polished. I look like a groom, she was right. But I won't ever get to be one. Not even a fake one.

Of course, Katniss is in a wedding dress, and of course, all eyes on our us. When we're on stage, we feel the audience's eyes staring.

Snow is stupid to have done this for the Quell. Most of the victors say or do whatever they can to protest against the Capitol, and no one stops them, because we're all live on tv. Any publicized act of aggression will send the rebels into overdrive.

Time is going by quickly, and it's almost Katniss' turn on stage. I have to admit I'm anxious to hear what she has to say about me, even if I'm not really sure what's real and what's for the cameras.

Katniss has exactly three minutes, but the first one is spent with Caesar, who is on the verge of crying, trying to calm down the weeping, somewhat angry audience. This is good. This is very good. If they are this outraged now, what I am going to say will do wonders for us.

"So, Katniss, obviously this is an emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"Just that I'm so sorry you won't get to be at my weddin. But I'm glad you get to see my dress. Isn't it just, the most beautiful thing?" This is genius, the girl on fire is suddenly less outraged and more humble, accepting of her fate. And this pisses the audience off more than if she were just angry.

My father used to say that there are moments, when something happens that you know is going to change your life. Sometimes, you can look back at your life, and pinpoint it. The event that set the course for you. He said you can look back and say, "There, that's when everything changed."

Katniss stands up to twirl, and she's lit on fire. I've got trust in Cinna, and I know there is something to this. She goes faster and faster, bits and pieces of her wedding dress turns to ember and floats into the sky. When the fire stops, she's standing there, in a dress that is the color of coal, made of feathers. The sleeves on the dress look too long, but then she raises her arms, and it creates the most beautiful wingspan. The crowd is conflicted. There are gasps in some areas, cheers, in others, and whispering, lots of whispering. I look up to the television screen, and she looks gorgeous, and she looks powerful, and she looks unbreakable at the same time. And this right here, this is where everything changes.


	13. The Match

**A/N: Again, thank you all so much for the reviews, I always seem to write better when I know people are enjoying reading the stories I write as much as I like writing them. **

Katniss has revealed herself as the Mockingjay. If there was any doubt at all in the Capitol, or resting in Snow's mind, there isn't now. Caesar knows what it is, still, he asks. When she tells him that it's a mocking jay, the same bird on the pin she wore in the first games, worry spreads across his face. He's not a bad guy, but I doubt it's us he's worried about. No one in the Capitol wants their perfect, over-indulgent lives threatened by starved rebels who are fed up.

Caesar suggests that Cinna take a bow, and then I remember that it's his work that did this, and he knew what he was doing, but I don't know if he knew exactly what he was getting himself into. The look on his face isn't proud, or happy, or even humble. It's somber, and it's calm. Nevermind. He knew the risk and took it anyway. I hope there is a way that we can help him, but starting the Games tomorrow, I doubt it.

After she's dismissed, my name is called. She passes me, but I'm careful to look straight ahead. I can't let anything distract me from saying what I plan to say. It may save her life. Probably not mine, but I've come to terms with that.

When Caesar asks me lighthearted questions, or jokes around with me, my words come easy, just as they always do. "Welcome back Peeta. You're probably my favorite tribute to talk to."

"Thank you Caesar."

"Will you be lighting on fire for us too?"

"Gee, I certainly hope not." The audience laughs, but I don't think it's that funny.

"Will you be turning into some kind of bird?"

"No, the only bird that's cool to dress up in is the Mockingjay. I'd be a big joke coming out here dressed as a chicken..or something." Caesar throws his head back and laughs. He looks at the audience, "Don't you just love this kid?" Wild applause.

He continues to ask me a few more lighthearted questions, such as my favorite food in the Capitol, and he jokes with me a bit more, but I'm not really paying attention. I'm planning out exactly how to say what I need to.

Finally, I have just one minute left on the timer, so, of course, he gets to the more serious stuff. "So, Peeta, what was it like when, after all you've been through, you found out about the Quell?"

I do think it's a bit daring to ask me that. If I lied, it'd be obvious. If I told the truth, it'd be defying the Capitol, and he'd be held responsible for it too, not just me. But I answer him. So I'm honest.

"I was in shock. I mean, one minute I'm seeing Katniss looking so beautiful in all these wedding gowns, and the next…" I let him catch on.

"You realized there was never going to be a wedding?"

This is it, the right time. I pause for a moment, to get my thoughts together. It has to seem as real as possible if it's going to work.

"Peeta?"

"Caesar, do you think all our friends here can keep a secret?"

"I feel quite certain of it."

"We're already married." _Don't look at Katniss, don't look at Katniss. _I'll get distracted if I do. Or, she'll give me a death stare, like "I'm going to murder you when we get back to our floor."

"But… how can that be?" He asks, astonished. The audience is completely quiet. You could hear a pin drop.

"Oh, it's not an official marriage, we didn't go to the Justice Building or anything. But we have this marriage ritual in District 12. I don't know what it's like in the other districts, but there's this thing we do…" I begin. Caesar listens intently as I describe what really is the wedding ritual in 12, and so does the audience. My buzzer goes off, but no one pays attention to it.

It takes him awhile to respond. "Were your families there?" I realize that I will have to say that they weren't. Our families, and the other people in 12 have to believe this too if it's going to work like I want it to.

"No, we didn't tell anyone. Not even Haymitch. And Katniss' mother would have never approved. But you see, we knew if we were married in the Capitol, there wouldn't be a toasting. And neither of us really wanted to wait any longer anyway. So one day, we just did it. We got married." Caesar has his hands folded, and his chin resting on top of them, with a huge grin on his face.

"And to us, we're more married than any piece of paper or big party could make us."

"So, this was before the Quell?"

"Of course it was before the Quell. I'm sure we'd never have done it after we knew," and I try to make myself upset so that I can make the audience upset that this is happening. I don't have to try very hard. I just tap into the emotions I've already bottled up.

"But who could've seen it coming?" I add, "No one. We went through the Games, we were victors, everyone seemed so thrilled to see us together, and then out of nowhere- I mean, how could we anticipate a thing like that?"

"You couldn't, Peeta. But I have to confess I'm glad you two had at least a few months of happiness together."

The audience applauds, and I know that my window is shutting, if I'm to say it, I have to do it right now.

"I'm not glad, I wish we had waited until the whole thing was done officially."

Caesar looks surprised. The lovesick boy everyone came to know and love on television isn't happy about a few months of happiness with his "wife." So, just like I knew he would, he asks, "Surely even a brief time is better than no time?"

And here we go: "Maybe I'd think that too Caesar, if it weren't for the baby."

At first, dead silence. Caesar isn't breathing. The audience is still. Then, as what I just said sets in, everybody knows how big it is. The Capitol kills children every year. The last year they threatened to kill us both. Then we're back here, when no one wants us to be, not even the Capitol citizens. Then, we don't get our wedding, and then, the audience discovers that the Capitol has not only put that poor girl back in the arena, but they put a unborn child in it too.

I don't leave the stage. I walk out to the edge of it, and bow to the people. "Thank you for your support, citizens of the Capitol. I'm sorry that it all backfired." Immediately after this, the whispers turned to shouts, and then screams. The Capitol sounds the buzzer again, and then again, fearful I might say something else, but I've said all I needed to. Some people pushed everyone out of their way as they left, not wanting to be apart of this any longer. Most the women who stayed cried, the rest just stood there, not knowing what to do. Most men were shouting, raising fists in the air, but some stood there with their arms folded, looking down while shaking their heads.

The Capitol anthem booms over the speakers, and it's loud, and it's on purpose. The Capitol has to subdue the crowd, and if any more victors are given a chance to speak, it will only awaken more of the citizens to what's going on. Most citizens in the audience tonight, have just woken up, I can tell. I can tell that most of them realize that this is no longer a game, it's murder. Plain and simple.

I still don't look at Katniss, partly because I fear I might break down. I stand next to her, and I reach for her hand but pull it back, I don't know how she will respond. But then she grabs my hand, firmly but gently. Then she joins hands with Chaff, who joins hands with Seeder. This goes around the entire group.

As I stand there holding her hand, I think about how I would feel if what I said wasn't a lie. I spent all this time thinking of how to say it and ignoring the fact that this actually happens all the time- families losing their children to the Games. I've felt horrible for all of them. If it were my child? I'd be damaged beyond repair. I've always wanted children, it's never been a question until now. Now, I think I'd be selfish to help bring a child into the world with the chance that they may someday be put in the same place that we were in last year, or are in now. But I guess it doesn't matter anyway, as I won't leave the Capitol again, at least not alive.

I wasn't crying, but tears were still running smoothly down my face, and I'd been so caught up thinking about how absolutely devastating it would be if it were true, that I don't notice until I see my tear stained cheeks on the television. Katniss locks eyes with me on the screen, and simultaneously squeezes my hand. She's easier to read more now than ever. And I can tell by the look and the way she squeezed my hand, that she wants to say, "That's why."

That's why she's never been interested in Gale even though no one would blame her if she were. That's why she was so hesitant to show me any kind of affection in the Games last year. Some of it was real, some of it was fake. But it was all guarded. It all gave her a feeling of unrest and fear. That's why she wanted nothing to do with me after the Games last time. If she spent as much time with me after the Games as she did during them, she might have developed feelings for me. If whatever it was that we had became more and escalated, all her deepest fears could be true. Maybe the reason she's been slightly more affectionate to me lately is because she knows it won't matter. One of us won't come back from the arena this time, so nothing like this will ever happen.

Even 2 has joined hands, and we all stand here, holding our linked hands into the air. And this unity, this power, hasn't existed since the rebellion, seventy-five years ago. So Peacekeepers push us all back into the training center right away, and other Peacekeepers try to subdue the crowd. Katniss gets pushed behind me, and almost loses grip on my hand, but I push a Peacekeeper out of my way and keep her as close to my side as possible. It's Chaos, Peacekeepers everywhere, and even citizens are trying to follow all of us back to the training center. As the 24 of us plus a ton of Peacekeepers try to fit through the door, Katniss gets pushed behind me again.

Then, Finnick comes and stands on her other side, keeping her between the two of us. Johanna steps in front of her, and pushes people out of the way while we make our way through. Then other tributes do the same, and we end up in the middle of a large circle of tributes, keeping the Peacekeepers at bay.

Unfortunately, there are a few elevators, so the tributes split up to go to their appropriate floors, leaving room for the Peacekeepers to get in and stop Finnick and Johanna from getting into an elevator with us. So we wind up alone. We ride up in silence. I watch the floors. 2- This has had a greater affect than I expected. 3,4- what will happen if the Capitol can't subdue the citizens? 5,6- How many districts are acting the way the Capitol citizens are? 7- What will be waiting for us when we arrive on floor 12? 8,9,10- If the Games end up cancelled, I'll be executed immediately, and she probably will too. 11- We don't have much time. I have to formulate another plan. 12- We step off.

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" She seems shocked, like she can't imagine why I asked. "Nothing," she says, exhaling.

"No one's here," I say.

The two of us turn, and we stand in front of the elevator doors, wondering, and fearing, who will come through them next. Then, we see the light. The lights count up to 12, and I grab her hand. "We will be okay." I honestly don't know though.

We both breathe a sigh of relief when it's Haymitch who steps off the elevator. "It's madness out there. Everyone's been sent home and they've canceled the recap of the interviews on television." Then I zero in on the sound I've heard but haven't placed. "Come on," I tell her, grabbing her hand. We walk swiftly to the window, and look down.

"What are they saying?" I ask Haymitch. "Are they asking the President to stop the Games?"

I can wish.

"I don't think they know what to ask. The whole situation is unprecedented. Even the idea of opposing the Capitol's agenda is a source of confusion for the people here," he tells us.

He then looks down, because he doesn't want to tell us, but he says, "But there's no way Snow would cancel the Games. You know that, right?" Yes, unfortunately.

When we find out that Effie and other Capitol escorts for the tributes were sent home, I have a heavy feeling. We'll never see them again. And Effie is a little annoying sometimes, but she's come to care about us, and I actually took a liking to her, which doesn't happen with a whole lot of Capitol people. Only Effie, Cinna, and Portia.

Katniss feels the same way and tells Haymitch to send Effie our love, because we won't ever see her again.

"I guess this is where we say our good-byes as well." He says, tapping his foot. "Any last words of advice?" I ask, to which he responds only, "Stay alive."

Haymitch hugs the both of us for a moment, then leaves before he gets too upset. It's easier that way, I know.

Haymitch tells Katniss to remember who the enemy is in the arena. She seems confused, but so do I. Isn't the enemy the people we have to kill? The same people who stood with us on that stage, in unity? The people who guarded us as we walked through the lobby of the training center? No. There's no way they are the enemy.

The enemy is the Capitol.


	14. The Game

We both walk down the hallway to our rooms. "You're going to stay with me, right?" She asks. I kiss her forehead. "Of course, just let me go to my room to shower."

She hesitates. "Shower in mine. Please." She pulls me into her room without giving me a chance to answer, but of course, she already knows I'd say okay.

I'm in the shower for only five minutes, because, I admit, I'm scared too. Of being away from each other too long. It would be the perfect time to kill her or me.

When I open the door, she nearly falls back, and I laugh for the first time in awhile. "Why were you leaning against the door?"

"In case someone came in, I could run in there."

"There isn't an escape route from the bathroom."

"I know. I was afraid, all right? That what you wanted to hear?"

"Whoa, calm down, it's okay. So am I. You're only human."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to get angry, I'm just, God, I don't know."

"I don't either. My mind is racing."

"So is mine. How will we sleep?"

"Guess we'll find out."

We both fall asleep in each other's arms, the way we always do. But we both toss and turn most of the night, and I wake up at least every hour or so. Around 4 am, she wakes up at the same time. "I don't even know if I'm getting enough rest since I keep waking up."

"Same here." She flips over onto her back and folds her hands across her stomach. I'm on my back, looking at the ceiling, my hands tucked behind my head. I exhale. "I get it now." She turns her head to me. "Get what?"

"Why you're so guarded."

"On stage?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know how you can read people so well." She says, then it's quiet for a moment. She turns on her side and looks at me. "Peeta, it's not that.." she's struggling to say it. She takes a deep breath and begins again. "Peeta, it's not that I don't like you…I do. And I trust you. But,"

"I know." Still, she continues.

"But even if we weren't here, even if we were back in District 12, it couldn't ever be more than that. I couldn't ever let myself feel anything more than that. I couldn't ever lose control."

"I know. Don't worry, I get it. I just don't know why you didn't tell me that in the first place. That you avoided me at home because you were afraid you'd develop feelings for me."

"For one, that wasn't completely my fault. You didn't ever knock on my door either. Second, probably because I never thought I'd have to have this conversation, and before the cave last year I never thought I was even capable of developing feelings for anyone. You know I'm not good with words. And third, I really honestly am not sure how much of what we went through was real and how much was fake."

"When you kissed me, was that for the sponsors, to keep us alive?"

"The first time, yes. The second time, no." I smile. She yawns. "I'm sorry, Peeta."

"Don't be. I'm good with this. This closeness. Let's just enjoy it one last time."

That talk didn't last even five minutes, and though we spent half of the rest of the night just lying there, I didn't want to say anything else. I'd disturb the peace. The calm.

In the morning, we both wait near the elevator for our stylists. Cinna is the first to arrive. She starts to walk towards him, but I grab her arm and spin her around. "One last time," I say, and give her a light kiss. She steps back. "See you soon."

Portia arrives slightly after and takes me to the hovercraft. I'm lifted on board and another tracker is placed in my arm. The person doing it won't look at me.

The hovercraft ride doesn't last long, and before I know it, I'm being lifted into the arena inside the cylinder. I rise to the top, and look around me. There is water all around me. It's around every metal plate. The cornucopia is on an island in front of me, but I'd have to swim to get there. I can't swim. What am I going to do?

I don't have a whole lot of time to think. I can't see Katniss, she must be on the other side of the cornucopia. We circle it this time. Then it's on. People scramble towards it to grab supplies, and I realize that even if I did, by some miracle, manage to swim, I wouldn't know where to go, because I don't know where Finnick or Katniss is. I'm the only one left over here, and it wouldn't be smart to go and drown myself or wander blindly to the cornucopia and get killed. The safest spot for me to stay is right here, at least for now. That's the best way to protect her. I wouldn't be able to do any good dead.

Once I see her, she's back-to-back with Finnick, so I know she knows he's on our side now. She takes down Brutus and Gloss, but both seem to get back up.

Finnick and Katniss are almost the only ones still there now. They have a quick conversation before Finnick swims over to me. "Come on, Peeta." I throw an arm over his shoulder. "Okay, I'll do most of the work, you just kick."

"Gotcha."

Katniss kisses me when I get to the island, and I can't tell if it's fake or not. But I don't have a lot of time to guess.

We decide we're allies with Mags, and Finnick tells her she has good judgement for wanting to be allies with her on the first day. He picks Mags up and pats her belt, telling us that the belts are flotation devices. Wish I'd known that sooner.

Katniss suggests we move on, the four of us. She hands me a sheath and bow and arrows. "What do you expect me to do with this?" I ask her, and she smiles.

We leave the beach, and enter the beginnings of a jungle. A very hot, very humid jungle. We don't run very far before we're all tired and out of breath, and sweaty. The air is so thick.

We get far enough away from the Cornucopia when Finnick tells Katniss to scale a tree. "See if you can get any idea how big this thing is. Where everyone's at." She nods and climbs.

While up there, she looks towards the beach, then back down to Finnick, before climbing down the tree and fidgeting, trying to decide something. Finnick seems to think she's decided to kill him, and he raises his trident as she prepares an arrow. Then I step in front of Finnick. We need him, and I don't know why, but I trust him. She gives me a look like "Move, you idiot," but I'm staying put. And eventually, the both of them give up and lower their weapons.

We resolve that the first thing we all need to do is find water. We walk for awhile, but we don't find anything and Katniss suggests that we should try the other side. Still, I think if I can just slash away these vines, maybe we'll find a stream. I hear something, like a faint humming. It could be water. I take my knife and the last thing I hear is, "No!"

"Riley?" I ask. My brother stands directly in front of me, but he doesn't say anything. He smiles and stretches out his palm. I walk towards him, and grab his hand. Once I grab his hand, in the blink of an eye, I'm in District 12. "Riley? Where'd you go?" I look around me, and I don't find Riley. But I find beauty.

I know it is District 12 in my heart. I don't know how I know, just that I do. Only, it is unlike any other District I've ever seen. It's incredible. I'm standing in front of the woods, which used to be where the district boundary fence was. But it's gone, instead, there is a memorial. I walk closer to see it in closer detail, but no matter how much I walk, the memorial stays the same distance away, so I'm unable to see any names on it.

When I open my eyes, I'm in the Seam. There are no more sick, dying people on every corner. The houses are still very modest, but well kept. The children aren't digging through trash cans for food. They're all healthy, and playing, the way children should. I walk over to them, to ask if they have seen my brother, but none of them notice me. Then I blink again and I'm in the bakery. My family's bakery.

There are beautifully decorated cakes in the window. The paint has been redone, and the kitchen inside has been updated with better equipment. Not expensive, Capitol equipment, but less dangerous, less faulty equipment. I go upstairs, and the apartment that used to be there is now a candy store. My family must still be living with me in the Victor's Village, though I'm wondering how they can afford the new work done to the bakery. Maybe I paid for it.

Then I start to wonder how the people in the Seam can afford a better quality of life. I look around again, now that I'm back outside. I'm in town. People walk the streets, some hand-in-hand, and I see smiles. People are happy. And I keep thinking that I'm glad I'm back, but I'm not sure how I'm back, or when I got back, or when the district transformed into a paradise compared to what it was. Where's Riley and the rest of my family? Where's Katniss and her family? Where's Gale?

I sit up, coughing. I'm no longer in District 12, I'm in the arena. What I saw must have been a hallucination, but what happened?

Next thing I know, Katniss is on top of me, hugging me. "Peeta?" She says, nearly crying. Then I remember. I must have hit a force field. But then, did I die? I couldn't have, I wouldn't have seen what I did, could I?

"Careful," I say when she's running a hand through my now-frizzy hair. "There's a force field up ahead."

She's laughing, but tears stream down her face at the same time. She takes a breath trying to calm herself down. "It must be stronger than the one on the Training Center roof, I'm okay though. Just shaken."

"You were dead! Your heart stopped!" It did? Then I was dead. But then what did I see, and why?

I smile. "Well, it seems to be working now." I tell her. She's trying to choke back more tears. It's all right Katniss." But she doesn't stop. She's crying. Maybe saying the word "Dead" out loud got her. I don't know. "Katniss?" I ask. Finnick tells me, "It's okay, it's just her hormones." Well, that's what they think. It isn't though.

"No, it's not-" She starts to say, but then I give her a look and she stops herself.

"How are you? Do you think you can move on?" Finnick asks me. I feel fine now, but I don't know how I'll feel when I stand up.

"No, he needs to rest," she says.

She runs a hand over my chest and finds a pendant that I put on. It has a mocking jay on it. "Do you mind that I used your mocking jay? I wanted us to match?"

"No, of course not."

"So, you want to make camp here, then?" Finnick asks.

Right here? With no cover? Hell no. Plus, we still need water. "I don't think that's an option. Staying here, with no water. No protection. I feel all right, really. If we could just go slowly." Just in case.

Katniss is still struggling to pull herself together which I really don't understand because I've never seen her this way. Of all the things that have happened to her, how is it that this little incident that I came back from is what set her off? Finnick helps me to my feet, and we start off. Finnick asks her how she knew the force field was there, and she says she could hear it. "I can't hear anything," I say. She insists that she can hear it, but I can read her face, and she is lying. There must be a good reason, so I leave it alone.

I really am okay, for awhile. But I find that I'm much more tired than they are, after awhile, and I really do need to rest, I just can't do it here. So I'm relieved when Finnick makes a stick for Mags to walk with, and makes one for me too.

An hour later, I'm sweating like crazy, and so, so tired. And thirsty. I'm relieved when Katniss suggests that we stop so that she can get a view of where we are from a tree.

The look on her face is bad. She's got bad news. After climbing down, she tells us that we're in a perfect circle, and there's no water in sight. "There must be drinkable water between the force field and the wheel." I say. If there weren't, all the tributes would die within two or three days. They can't have that. There has to be violence.

I tell her this, and she says maybe there is something in the foliage, but I get the feeling she doesn't believe it.

A couple more hours go by, with us trying to find water, desperately. At this rate, we'll die in less than two days. No water, and this much sweat? I wish we could drink the moisture in the air.

After Mags and I can't stop panting, Katniss gives me a sad look, like she wishes she could do something. But all I need right now is rest.

Katniss had been using nuts to find where the force field was. They'd bounce off, roasted. Mags ate some, so they must not be deadly. So, to entertain myself and to feed us, I start throwing nuts into the field and piling the inside on a leaf. Finnick and Mags are weaving moss and grass and weeds, very well, I might add. They're trying to make our campsite less noticeable, and they're doing a very good job. Katniss is rocking back and forth, like she doesn't know what to do with herself. Finally, she speaks up.

"Finnick, why don't you stand guard and I'll hunt around for more water."

"No way." I say.

"Come on. I'm not doing anything else. I won't go far, I promise."

"Then I'm going too," I add.

"No, I'm going to do some hunting if I can, and you can't come because you're too loud." She says this so I won't try to go with her, she really doesn't want me to go because I'm injured. Or, whatever I am.

I realize there is no middle ground, and she tells me that she won't be long, then I watch her fade away into the jungle.

When she comes back, our camp is set up, and Mags has weaved little bowls out of weeds, that are now filled with nuts. I watch her walk back to us and give a hopeful look, but she shakes her head and plops down, frustrated. "Nothing. It's out there though, he knew where it was," she says, holding up some kind of rodent. "He'd been drinking recently when I shot him out of a tree. But I couldn't find his source. I swear, I covered every inch of ground in a thirty-yard radius."

"Can we eat him?" I'm not sure if eating an animal will keep dehydration away longer, but if it can, good. Nothing to lose.

"I don't know for sure." She says. Damn.

"But his meat doesn't look that different from a squirrel's, He out to be cooked…" She says, observing the dead animal a bit more closely. If we can cook him, we'd need a fire, right? Then I look at the pile of nuts. Or maybe not.

I take a cube of the meat and put it on a stick, tossing it into the force field, it comes back, ready to eat. It's faster and safer than a fire. We feast on the rodent and the nuts, but we'd all gladly give it up for just a drop of water.

"What the hell is that thing, anyway?" Finnick asks.

"I don't know. I found it in a tree."

"It looks like a rat."

"I guess."

Finnick now refers to it as a "tree rat." I'm sure that's not it's proper name, but I'm too thirsty and tired to even pay attention any longer.

I nap for maybe twenty minutes, but then I'm woken by Mags and Finnick moving around. I sit up and then go and sit by Katniss, at the front of the hut. I slide her hand into mine, and we look up at the sky while the Panem anthem plays.

Only 8 dead. 5 less than the amount dead in the last Games. But, I should have known. These people are better.

Once it's gone, it's quiet for awhile, until we hear a familiar chime, signaling the arrival of a parachute. "Whose is it, you think?" Katniss asks.

"I don't know," Finnick replies, "But let's let Peeta claim it, since he died today." Katniss winces.

It's a thin, metal cylinder, with a sharp edge on one end. A whistle? No. A knife? Definitely not. I let the others examine it, but no one seems to know what it is.

Katniss messes with it awhile, and then lies, down, moving it back and forth between her fingers, trying to figure it out. I rub a tense spot on her back, until she relaxes. She sets it down, but continues to look at it, and a short time later, she figures it out.

"A spile!" She shouts, excitedly. A spile? That means water! I'm overjoyed. I really was worried that we wouldn't find any in time. Finnick asks us what it is, and she tells him it gets stuff out of trees. "Sap?" He asks, and I nod. "To make syrup, but there must be something else in these trees."

We have to drill a hole in the tree before sticking the spile in. It's the only way to get water, so we have to be extra careful. Since I'm the strongest, I drive Mag's awl into the tree, then Finnick and I work with it for a few minutes. When the hole is big enough, she carefully places the spile. Water. Only a little, at first, but more comes out, and we take turns letting it fall into our mouths. Then we fill up one of Mag's bowls with it.

Now that everyone is full, and no longer thirsty, we can sleep. Katniss lies down next to me, while Finnick volunteers to stay up and keep watch first. I put an arm over her and let my eyelids become heavy, which doesn't take very long.

A short time later, I'm awakened by Katniss, who is frantically yelling for us to get up, she's blistering, and choking. Then I see a wall of poison floating towards us, and it's fast.


	15. The Sacrifice

**A/N: Since the movie for Catching Fire has been announced, I thought it might be fun to write who I think should play the characters and then hear your opinions. Say, one a chapter? **

**Finnick Odair: Channing Tatum- He's got the look and body for it.**

Although I'm slowly getting up, it's taking me awhile to adjust to everything. I'm still half-asleep, but there's no way I'm dreaming because the pain from the mist is excruciating. I'm on my feet though, as Finnick tosses Mags on his back, and Katniss is taking off in the other direction. Of course the Gamemakers would pull this crap after we all finally get a chance to rest.

All I know is that it's misty, and that it hurts, _bad. _"What is it? What is it?" I say, to anyone in particular, but Katniss is the one that answers, "Some kind of fog. Poisonous gas, hurry Peeta!" I'm trying, I really am, but even though I'm running full force, my legs will only carry me so fast, and I keep tripping. The force field must have thrown off my balance, and I wasn't very coordinated to begin with. I want to tell her to just go, just run, but I remember telling her to just forget about me in the first games, and she wouldn't. There's no way she would now, so telling her would just be a waste of breath, and I'm struggling to breathe as it is.

She slows down to run by my side, and she winces with every step she takes, the mist hitting us both. We're barely ahead of it, but it's moving fast, and so we get hit with it every so often. She struggles to speak to me in the amount of pain she's in. "Watch my feet. Just try to step where I step."

Of course I listen, and now I'm not focused on how fast Finnick is going, or the poison behind us, I'm just watching Katniss' feet and trying to match their speed. It does help, because I'm no longer tripping as much, and I'm not distracted.

I allow myself to look up, I don't really know why, maybe to see how far Finnick has gotten, but the move costs us dearly. Finnick has slowed down, and because I looked up, my artificial leg gets caught in something, I don't see what, and I fall forward. Then, all of a sudden, the left side of my face is tingling, and then stops suddenly, but I can no longer feel it, and I can no longer see out of my left eye. Am I dying? Having a stroke? Or did the poison just burn through my eyelid. "Go Finnick, go Katniss!" I try to say, but as only the right side of my mouth is working, it comes out sounding muffled and they don't understand me.

When she turns to help me up, she sees something. I guess whatever I'm feeling is visible somehow, because she's less hurried and more panicked. "Peeta-" She starts to say, but then her arm starts twitching and I know whatever it is, is from the fog. She instinctively pulls me forward, and she must be running on adrenaline because with one , pull she gets me up on my feet and running, but now my feet are moving faster than the rest of my body, so I stumble and plead with my feet not to let me fall again.

I fall again, but Katniss yanks me forward and I'm back on my feet again, but it doesn't help. It feels as though my knees aren't working, and though I can keep going forward, my legs tilt to the right or left or sometimes don't bend because of it, slowing us down even more.

I start to come to terms with the fact that this is probably what will end up killing me. It might be what ends up killing them. I knew the chance of getting Katniss out was slim after the stunts we pulled before the Games, but this will be an excruciating, slow death.

"It's no good, I'll have to carry him," Finnick says. He looks at Katniss and raises an eyebrow. "Can you take Mags?"

Katniss looks torn apart. She knows there isn't any way she can possibly carry anyone alone, still, she pushes back her doubt and agrees to try to carry Mags.

Finnick tosses me on his back with ease, and we're moving fast. "Stop looking back, Peeta, it slows me down. Lean forward!" He tells me, but I can't listen. I'm afraid the minute I look forward and not back, Katniss and Mags will be consumed by the mist.

"Wait!" I yell to Finnick. "They fell!"

"They'll get back up" he tells me, and they do. But then they fall again, and then again, the distance between them and the mist getting closer each time. Finnick finally grunts in desperation, and turns back. Katniss tells him that there isn't any way she can carry Mags anymore, and it's true. Her legs and arms are beginning to spasm, and she can't continue to carry them both. She can barely stand. She tells Finnick to take the both of us, which he probably could, had his muscles continued working the way they should, but the mist has gotten to him too.

We all realize that one of us will be left behind. It won't be Finnick, because he's the strongest and can still run. Katniss could get herself out of here if she were only responsible for herself. Mags and I look at each other. One of us will not leave this spot.

While Mags is much older than me, and I told myself I'd survive long enough to get Katniss home again, there still isn't any way I could ever let someone give their life for mine. So when Mags looks into my eyes, I nod my head, and mouth the words, "I'll go." Katniss and Finnick do not catch this.

Mags doesn't listen. She kisses Finnick, then dances into the mist, her body then falling and spasming, until finally, it lies still.

Words can't describe the thanks and the sorrow and the guilt that I feel now. Mags wasn't an ordinary tribute. She's not out for blood. She knew she wouldn't win, she was here for someone else, I'm guessing Finnick. Still, that should have been me. She's no doubt much easier to carry than I am, and Finnick, Mags, and Katniss could have been out of the way and in the water by now if it had been me. I should have not given Mags the opportunity. I should have jumped off of Finnick immediately and ran as far into it as I could. But I didn't think quickly enough, and I will have a hard time forgiving myself for that.

Katniss turns to go and help her, but when the cannon sounds, she knows it's no pointless. We're back to running now, except me, I'm being carried. "Finnick, the mist is getting closer. Drop me and help her, get out of here. I don't plan on leaving the arena anyway."

"She'll be fine."

"Seriously Finnick, drop me."

"No can do."

"What? Why?"

Finnick doesn't answer me, so I try to wiggle out of his arms. "Stop it Peeta! If you manage to get off of me, I'm just going to have to turn around and pick you up. You really want to help? Don't be a hero. Lean forward and shut up."

Finnick manages to make it a little further, but even though he is a specimen of physical perfection, his body still isn't immune to the poison. He falls to the ground, and takes me with him. Katniss doesn't seem to realize what's going on, and she doesn't see us. I'm hoping she will just keep on going, but she trips over our feet and lands on top of us. The three of us now lie here in a pile, all staring at the wall of fog that will kill us in a matter of seconds.

"It's stopped" Katniss says, pointing to the fog. I turn my head to look at it again. And it has. What could be the point of it? Don't the Gamemakers want to kill us? Maybe our bodies will have absorbed enough poison to ensure our deaths, but prolong them for hours instead of seconds. That sounds like the most probable cause.

I see some monkeys a ways away, but it must come out muffled because no one responds. Still, it's good to see them, if the poison was coming back, they wouldn't be here. I watch one of them swing onto a branch, and behind them, I see blue, sparking water. Saltwater, ocean. I remember after being burned real badly in the bakery, my father would dissolve some salt in hot water and pour it on the burn. "Salt cures everything."

I owe my dad my life, because once I crawled forward and into the water, a murky white substance just poured out of my skin. The pain is worse than the fog itself, but the longer I'm in the water, the less pain I feel, and I'm relieved to know it's working. Katniss is doing the same thing, groaning with pain, and Finnick lies on the ground, eyes shut. I watch his chest rise and fall and so I know he is still breathing. I have to help him the way he helped me. But it would be useless to try and help him while I'm still so damaged. I strip off my jumpsuit, leaving me in only my undershorts, and Katniss sees it so she takes her jumpsuit off too, and then the process of healing goes much quicker.

Within the next five minutes the two of us are on the beach with Finnick, and she starts pouring water onto his hands while I take his jumpsuit off so that we can get water to the rest of his wounds. He seems to be getting better, because instead of just lying there, he moans or whines or, for the bad blisters, screams. Katniss and I have the same idea, in that we both keep looking up. We're out in the open, and Finnick's screams and moans could be heard a mile away. We'd be okay if there were a tribute or two, but if the careers find us, we're screwed.

Once Finnick has healed to the point where his body and mind are working, we get into the water, and tell him he has to fully submerge himself to draw the rest of the poison out. Even though I'm certain I'd gotten all of it, being in the water feels so good that maybe I missed some. The longer and deeper I'm in the water, the more relaxed I feel. Finally, Finnick submerges his head and tries to wash out his system. He comes to the surface and lets out a sigh of relief. Katniss climbs out then and tells us she's going to try to tap a tree, but I tell her to stay with Finnick. "Let me make the hole first, you stay with him," I say, motioning to Finnick. " You're the healer."

She gives me a look, and I figure she thinks I'm making some joke on her part. But that isn't it. She doesn't see herself as a healer, she sees only her mother and Prim that way. It's true that she's never really learned what to do from her mother. But somehow, even when she's guessing, she always ends up doing exactly what needs to be done. Like with me, last year. She had no clue what she was doing, yet, here I am, because she listened to her instincts, and she was right.

Once I've found a good tree, I knock on it and put my ear to it. I hear something inside, so it must have plenty of water. I pull my knife, and start digging into it.

I've gotten the whole very near where it should be, and I guess I've been really concentrated, because Finnick and Katniss are by my side now. "Peeta," she says. She sounds strange, but I don't recognize what tone of voice this is. It's not angry, or happy, or sad, or confused. But it's not normal. She begins to say something else, but I don't hear it because I'm so focused. I tell her to hold on because I've almost got it.

I turn to her then, and very calmly, she tells me there's something I need to look at. "Uh, okaaaay, what?"

"Move toward us, quietly, and very slowly."

I don't know what's going on, but I trust there's a reason, so I do as she says.

We're walking towards the beach, very quietly, very slowly, very smoothly. I still have no clue what's going on, and obviously, they aren't clueing me in. So I look right, then left, then behind me, but I see nothing.

We're close to the beach when I feel it. Being watched. Finnick and Katniss are looking straight ahead, but _someone _is watching us. Then, I see a leaf, it floats in front of my face, before falling to the ground beneath my feet. I see another, then another, and I look up. And I wish I hadn't.

The monkey I saw earlier was not alone. There are at least a hundred of them, and they were quietly watching us, waiting for one of us to make some threatening move, and I was the one that did it. I would be kicking myself if I could right now, but I haven't got any time, as they are no longer still. They are scrambling, and they're _pissed._

"Mutts!" Katniss yells. And then I look closer. They are monkeys, sure, but monkey's wouldn't attack by someone simply looking at them. The Capitol put these here. Were they hoping we'd die from the poison, but put these here to kill us after we healed ourselves? Most likely.

I don't know what else to do, but there's so many, we don't have time to outrun them. I pull my knife, close my eyes, and just start slashing. I hear some hit the ground to my right and left, and so I know Katniss is shooting some and Finnick is spearing some. I wish Mags were still here, she was surprisingly good with that awl. Then, I'm glad she's not here. She's better off now than we are.

"Peeta! Your arrows!" Katniss shouts. I'd forgotten I had them. I stop for a moment, just a millisecond, to consider whether I should try to shoot the monkeys, or keep using the knife. I'm not good with a bow and arrow, but I might still do more damage with the arrows than I am with the knife. In that quick millisecond, I see a monkey coming at me, with his claws out, showing his teeth. He's coming straight for my heart.

At some point, I dropped my knife. I reach for my sheath of arrows but there's no time. I close my eyes and brace myself. And something knocks me over.

It's not a monkey, it's bigger. It's a human, and I'm scared to find out which one, Finnick, or Katniss, just dove in front of me. Either would be bad. I open my eyes and discover that it wasn't either of them. I don't have time to think about why some girl from 6 just saved me. I pull my knife and stab the monkey that just sunk it's teeth into her. Once it's dead, I kick it away, and I bend my knees, knife in hand, and look anxiously from side to side. This will not happen again. I won't let a third person give their life for mine.

No monkeys come after us anymore. I have so many questions, but no time to think about them. Katniss tells me to get the girl to the water while she and Finnick cover me, in case more show up. None do.

The three of us surround the girl on the beach, but after looking more closely at her wounds, we discover that the only thing we can do is make her comfortable while she dies. Finnick can't bear to watch. He tells us he's going to watch the trees. Katniss watches Finnick leave, and I know she wishes she didn't have to be here either. But the girl grabs her hand, and she sits down on her side. I'm on the other side, stroking the girls cheek. I remember how much they loved to paint- the tributes from 6- and she, in particular, was so amused by the colors, so I start going on about painting, hoping to keep her mind off it.

"With my paint box at home, I can make every color imaginable. Pink. As pale as a baby's skin, or as deep as a rhubarb. Green like spring grass. Blue that shimmers like ice on water…"

While I'm speaking to her, my mind starts to wander. First, Mags gave her life for mine. Finnick wouldn't let me off his back even though it meant he could die, too. Then this girl who hasn't even met me officially jumped in front of me to save me. Why? I could see Mags doing it, for Finnick. Or maybe because she's already lived awhile. But Finnick had no reason not to leave me, except maybe for Katniss. But he doesn't know her, or me. So why would he do it? Then this girl? I don't even know her name, I doubt she knows mine. There's no way this is a coincidence. I scramble to find a possible explanation but I don't find any.

"…One time, I spent three days mixing paint until I found the right shade for sunlight on white fur. You see I kept thinking it was a yellow, but you see it was much more than that. Layers of colors. One by one…"

There's no reason for the monkeys to recede before we're dead. The Capitol put them there, did they not? The Capitol wants us dead, at least Katniss and I, do they not? I remember in the first games, how the mutts receded after Cato died. Maybe the mutts weren't put there for us. Maybe they're just part of the Games, and they leave after a single person dies. But then, she didn't die right away. She was still breathing when they stopped.

"…I haven't figured out a rainbow yet. They come so quickly and leave so soon. I never have enough time to capture them. Just a bit of blue here, purple there. And then they fade away again, back into the air."

I realize that I don't have answers to any of my questions. And I'm brought out of my daze when something wet touches my cheek. The morphling's drawn something on my face with blood. I can't see what it is, but I give her reassuring words. "Thank you, it's beautiful." Then I watch her slowly fade away, until the cannon fires.


	16. The Clock

**A/N: Johanna Mason: Mila Kunis- She's got the look, attitude, and confidence for it.**

I can't bring myself to leave this girl here. No one should be left where they've fallen. The most honorable thing I can think to do for her is to put her on her back in the water. I fold her hands together on her chest. Then I use the blood she used to paint my face to paint hers. I paint a rose on her left cheek, and the number 6 on her right. It's all I can think to do. I go back to the beach, and Katniss starts walking towards Finnick. "Wait," I tell her, but I don't need to say anything else. She comes back to me and stands by my side, sliding her hand into mine. We stand together as we watch the girl's body being lifted into the hovercraft, then watch it fly away.

"That was nice," she tells me. "The way you soothed her when she was dying."

"It's the same thing you did for Rue. I just can't sing the way you can."

The moment is interrupted by a thud, and monkey blood splattering across our legs. "Thought you might want these," Finnick says to Katniss. She scoops up water to wash off her legs, and I do the same. While she does, she tells him, "You mean to tell me you went back into that death trap for…the hell of it?"

"There aren't as many now," he starts to say. Then she thanks him.

After some time, the three of us are scratching like crazy from the scabbed over blisters caused by the fog. "Get my back," I say to Finnick. He does, then turns around and says, "Get mine." This goes back and forth a couple of times until Katniss catches us. "Don't scratch. You'll only bring infection. Think it's safe to try the water again?" This is what I mean, about always knowing exactly what to do.

"Yeah," Finnick says, thinking she means swimming. But then I add, "But we should try to get some drinking water first," they both look at each other then follow me to the tree I was tapping earlier. We all look around constantly, paranoid that we'll run into another death trap.

It doesn't take us very long to quench our thirst and fill some shells with drinking water, and it's a good thing too, because I don't know about them, but I've been tired since I hit that force field. It seems like an eternity ago.

Finnick ends up taking first watch. Katniss and I lie on the sand and as soon as I close my eyes, I'm sleeping.

I have a nightmare. Only this time, it isn't flashbacks:

Katniss and I watch as Finnick dies, from drowning. Go figure. Then after mourning his loss, we're ready to pursue the rest of the tributes, only, we don't find any.

In the sky that night, the faces of the remaining tributes flash, and we do the math. There are two left, and then we realize that the reason we couldn't find any more was because we were the last two. Only one of us can go home, and we both know this. I want her to go, and she wants me to go. I know that she will be unable to kill me. There's no way I'd ever be able to kill her. So we just stand there, looking at each other.

Snow told Katniss when he went to her house that Seneca should have blown us both to bits when Katniss suggested the berries, so there's no way that trick will work a second time. No, either she kills me, or I kill her, or she kills herself, or I kill myself. That's the only way one of us will leave. So I resolve to kill myself, but as soon as I position the knife, she puts an arrow in front of her throat. We're stuck at a standstill.

I wake up, panting and sweating. "You okay there?" Finnick asks me.

"Yeah, just a nightmare,"

"Flashbacks?"

"Worse. How long has it been?"

"Only about an hour. You can go back to sleep, it's fine. I'll wake one of you when I get tired."

"Thank you." I tell him. I'm almost afraid to go to sleep, thinking the dream might pick up where it left off and end horribly. But my body is so tired that I don't have an option. I'm out like a light again.

My dream now is much more peaceful:

Last year, when I was lying on the riverbank, one of the reasons I knew Katniss was okay was because a mocking jay had picked up her voice when she was singing. I later found out she was singing a lullaby to Rue, the meadow song. That mocking jay repeated the song to me in her voice. And I hear it again now.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your eyes, and when again they open, the sun will rise. Here it's safe, here it's warm, here the Peeta, Peeta, wake up."

Wait, that's not right. "Peeta, wake up." I'm half asleep still, but I realize now it was a dream. I open my eyes, and Katniss and Finnick are inches from my face, staring at me. Needless to say, I sit straight up, scared half to death. They fall back and laugh. "Well I'm glad I gave you guys a laugh, it wasn't very funny for me," But I have to admit I'm laughing as well.

Haymitch sends us some bread. Or actually, maybe Finnick's mentor does, because the bread is from 4. "Haymitch still hasn't sent us anything huh?" I ask. Katniss shakes her head. "Actually, that reminds me." She says, showing me a greenish looking scab on her leg. "What" I ask. She holds up a tube of something. "Ointment," she says, "For our skin. Haymitch sent it to us while you were sleeping."

"Lovely. Now we can look like Frankenstein." I say.

"And Bride of Frankenstein," Finnick adds until Katniss scowls at him.

"What? Like it's some secret?" He asks her, but she ignores him.

We eat shellfish that Finnick caught, and the bread that was sent to us. We chat about nothing in particular, I think maybe we're all just trying to avoid thinking about things. Finnick tells us that in District 4, it's mandatory to learn to swim by age 4. "Wish I could teach you." He tells me. "But, obviously, I can't." He adds.

Katniss stops chewing.

"Why not?" she asks. He gives her a look as if to say, "Really?" She shakes her head.

"Not…later. I mean right now. The water is right there. We aren't rested enough to leave yet, anyway."

Finnick seems to consider this for a moment. "Actually, that'd probably be really smart, why don't we…" But he doesn't get to finish his thought, as a huge tidal wave swallows up a large stretch of beach across from us.

We watch and listen. We hear screams, and that means a death. But we're not listening for dying tributes, we're listening for danger. Finnick watches the water carefully. "It won't come over here." We turn our attention to him. "How do you know?"

"The water is in the same place it was. The tide, I mean. It would have receded if we were going to get a tidal wave here. We're okay." That makes sense. I'm glad we have Finnick on our team. We can breathe easier, at least for right now. Then the water washes up further on the beach, and laps at our feet. "It's still okay. If the water pulls back more than usual, then we have a problem," Finnick reassures us.

We quietly take cover in a bush back in the jungle when we see three figures coming our way. They're in bad shape, still, it could be a trick.

"Johanna!" Finnick cries out. He jumps out of the bushes and runs to meet her and the two she's with. "Is he crazy?" I ask Katniss.

"I've asked myself that a few times. I haven't decided yet. What now?"

"We can't really leave Finnick," I add. Maybe Finnick had some pre-arranged alliance with Johanna and the other two that I didn't know about, the way he had one with me that Katniss didn't know about. I don't know why, but I trust Finnick.

"Guess not," she says, grouchily. "Come on then." I know she doesn't want any more allies. She'd have a hard enough time killing Finnick if she had to. No one wants to know the people they are going to be killing eventually anymore than they have to.

"She's got Wiress and Beetee," she tells me. I remember that those two are "Nuts" and "Volts." The tributes from 3 she originally wanted to ally with. Why would Johanna have them?

"Nuts and Volts? I've got to hear how this happened," I say.

"I'm sorry, Johanna," Finnick tells her. I didn't catch why. Katniss sees my confused face. "It rained blood on them for some reason, Blight couldn't see and he hit the force field."

"Ouch," I reply, remembering by experience.

"He left me alone with these two," Johanna says, nudging Beetee. "He got a knife in the back at the Cornucopia."

Beetee is lying on the ground. He's alive, and must have been for awhile, but he probably won't stay that way for too long unless someone fixes him up.

Johanna says something about Wiress while I'm watching Beetee, and then Wiress says, "Tick, tock, tick tock."

What does that mean?

"Yeah, we know, tick tock, tick tock," Johanna says, and it's clear by the way she says it, that she's been hearing it for a long time. Wiress must want us to know something. She isn't all there, probably an affect of her Games. But if she keeps saying it, there's a reason, and no one knows what it is yet, or no one is listening.

Johanna pushes her and that sets off Katniss. "Lay off her!" She orders. Johanna walks up to Katniss, and the two girls stand firmly planted, staring at each other. They both tense. "Lay off her?" Johanna says, hitting Katniss. She doesn't respond. "Who do you think got them out of that bleeding jungle for you, you-" she starts to say.

"Okay, whoa, calm down, both of you," Finnick tells them. Johanna is kicking and screaming as Finnick carries her into the water. She's pissed. She's always been a little on edge anyway.

"What did she mean? She got them for me?" She asks me. I don't know.

"I don't know. You did want them originally."

"Yeah I did, originally. But I won't have them long unless we do something." She says, acknowledging Beetee's serious injury.

I lift Beetee up. He's a rather small guy, so he isn't hard to carry. Katniss helps Wiress, and we take them to the little camp we set up.

"Peeta, come hold Beetee up in the water so I can get the jumpsuit off." She asks me. I do what she asks. She takes off his jumpsuit and rinses the blood off his wound to look at it more closely. The blood has his undershorts stuck to his skin too, but she uses a jagged rock she finds to cut them off with ease. He's naked in front of us now, but it doesn't phase her now like it did last year when she almost had to do that for me. As if sensing my question, she looks up at me. "There's been a lot of injuries this year. We had a naked person on our table at least once a week."

Once he's clean, I help her take him back to the camp, out of the water. We lie him on his stomach, and she looks at his cut. "It's not deep, he'll be okay. He just lost a lot of blood. You'll be fine, Beetee." She tells me she'll be right back.

She comes back with some moss. I'm assuming it's to stop the bleeding. She puts it on the wound and wraps it tightly with vines. "I think that's all we can do."

"It's good. You're good with healing stuff." I tell her, and, of course, she denies it.

"No, I got my father's blood. The kind that quickens during a hunt, not an epidemic." She doesn't give me a chance to assure her that she's got both, because she gets up to go check on Wiress.

I sit next to Beetee, who still hasn't come to. Johanna and Finnick are splashing each other in the water. Katniss is helping Wiress wash stuff off. Wiress is much older than Katniss, but acts like a child since her mind is partially gone. Katniss has no idea what Wiress is talking about when she keeps repeating tick, tock, tick, tock, but she doesn't get frustrated the way Johanna did. She reassures Wiress that she is listening. Even if she doesn't understand, she is listening. Though Wiress keeps repeating the same words over and over, she seems calmer about it now.

Once Wiress is washed off, Katniss brings her to the camp, where Johanna and Finnick have just arrived. Johanna stuffs herself, having not eaten for days. Johanna looks at Finnick, then at Katniss. _Shit. Here we go again. _

"How'd you lose Mags?" She asks. Katniss tells her, and Johanna says, "She was Finnick's mentor, you know."

"No, I didn't."

"She was half his family."

I want to tell Johanna that it's my fault. That Mags did it without us having a chance to stop her. Because I couldn't carry myself. But the two of them have calmed down already, and if I mention it, I'll just get angry looks from Finnick and Katniss.

Katniss asked Johanna what she was doing with Beetee and Wiress, and Johanna told her that Haymitch said they'd be allies if she brought them safely to Katniss. Katniss doesn't tell her this wasn't planned. But she does thank Johanna and tell her that she appreciates it.

"Tick Tock," Wiress repeats. Johanna rolls her eyes. "What the hell is tick tock?"

Katniss is calm when she speaks to Wiress. "Tick tock, time for sleep."

Wiress lays down her head while the lightning storm goes off across the beach somewhere.

Katniss and Johanna bicker back and forth about certain things, like what's happened to get us to this point, and Finnick and I just kind of listen to them and shake our heads at each other, smiling. "Amusing, isn't it?" He says.

"Yeah, but I feel bad for thinking that. Normally it's me she's mad at."

"I know how that is."

"Johanna?" I ask him. He looks down, and it takes him awhile to respond. "No, uh, someone else."

I remember in the training center, what he said to me. "I was going to join you anyway, I just wanted to see your faith in her. Reminds me of someone back home."

I wonder if it's the same one.

Johanna tells her she's going to sleep, and she moves over to Finnick. They pass out immediately.

"It's okay, Peeta. You need rest more than I do. Go to sleep."

"Only a little while. Wake me when you're tired."

I'm not asleep for very long when she shakes me awake. Johanna and Finnick are stirring, having already been woken up. "What? Why?"

"We have to move."

"Why?" Johanna asks again.

"Wiress is a genius." She says.

"_What?"_ Johanna says.

"Tick, tock. Tick, tock, the arena is a clock."

And now it all makes sense.


	17. The Shift

**A/N: To answer your questions, I definitely would like to do Mockingjay. The only thing is, it's going to be very hard to write it, since almost the entire book will be my own creation. Peeta's only in Mockingjay for the last third of the book, and it only hints at what happened to him before, so I'll have to spend a lot of time thinking about it and writing it, editing it. So I'm just not 100% sure.**

**Madge( That is, if they include her): Dakota Fanning**

**Wiress: Sara Gilbert (She plays Leslie Winkle on the Big Bang Theory)**

I don't have time to think. Everyone's up and Finnick and I are trying to get Beetee back into his jumpsuit.

Nuts, I mean, Wiress, isn't crazy. She's intelligent. Probably how she won her first games. She'd been trying to tell us all along that it was a clock, the arena is a clock.

I've picked up Beetee and he calls for his wire, the little coil that Katniss decided to keep just in case. Johanna starts rambling on about why in the world he would need a wire, so I just decide to tell her what I learned on the tape I watched of his Games. "He won his Games with wire. Setting up that electrical trap. It's the best weapon he could have had."

"Seems like you'd have figured that out," Katniss tells her, "since you named him Volts and all."

This, of course, starts another bitter back and forth between the two of them.

"Yeah, that was really stupid of me, wasn't it? I guess I must have been distracted by trying to keep your little friends alive, while you were what? Getting Mags killed off?"

Katniss pulls her knife, and Johanna dares her to try it.

Finnick is the one who stops it, changing the subject. He gives Beetee the wire, and now Beetee doesn't resist when I begin to carry him away. "Where to?" I ask.

"I'd like to go to the Cornucopia and watch," Finnick says, which is probably the smartest thing we can do right now.

Johanna and Finnick go ahead of us to go into the Cornucopia first, to check for Careers or other tributes, leaving Katniss and I alone. Beetee is unconscious, and Wiress doesn't really understand. "What's on your mind? You seem…distracted."

"My mind is racing."

"Why?" She shakes her head.

"Same thing I told you in the training center."

I realize she's talking about killing the other tributes. It's true, the longer we go with them, the harder it will be. I'm having doubts about staying with them too. But for some reason, I feel like I need to stick to this alliance, at least a little longer.

The Cornucopia is all clear, so I lay down Beetee against the side of it. He wakes up for a moment and asks Wiress to go and wash the coil of wire for him. It doesn't need to be washed, but maybe he just wanted to give her something to do. As Wiress washes the coil, she begins to sing.

"Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one and down he run, hickory dickory dock." I remember this song.

My father used to sing this to me when I was a kid. I wonder where he got it from? I haven't heard it from anywhere else. Maybe he got it from the same place he got the rest of his songs or stories, from his grandfather. His grandfather was from the before time. Before Panem. Back when this was North America. It must have come from then.

Johanna rolls her eyes, "Oh, not the song again. That went on for hours before she started tick tocking." I don't know, I kind of like it. It's nice. It's reminds me of home.

We watch Wiress stand up and point straight towards the jungle, and say, "Two". Two is when the poison gas came for us. Sure enough, I see the fog in the distance.

So this whole time, it wasn't the Gamemakers trying to kill us with the fog or the monkeys. They haven't tried to directly kill us at all yet, which is odd. No, we've just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had we been in the wedge with the tidal wave? Finnick would surely have lived. Katniss might have. But I would have drowned for sure.

"Like Clockwork," I say, trying to be funny, but I don't think anyone gets it. "You were very smart to figure that out, Wiress."

"She's more than smart," and this is the first sentence Beetee has spoken this entire time. At least to us. "She's intuitive. She can sense things before anyone else, like a canary in your coal mines." Katniss clears up for Finnick and Johanna what the canaries are for.

I remember Riley telling me about them. They take the birds down with them, and they chirp, or sing, or fly around, but if the air is bad, they stop singing, and they'll stay perched on something, not moving. That's when everyone knows to get the hell out of there. Sadly though, sometimes the birds don't let you know in enough time. Carbon Monoxide sneaks up on you that way.

Johanna messes around with some axes, and throws one. It sticks straight into the Cornucopia. "Damn, where did that come from?" I ask her.

"What? You think she's the only woman with skills?" Johanna asks, accusingly. I stay quiet and she rolls her eyes. "I come from 7, remember?" Oh, that's right. Lumber.

"I mean, do you do that back home too?" I lie.

"Duh."

I see a leaf, and then it almost washes away. I follow it being pulled back by the tide, then notice that it would be a perfect map.

I spend the next ten minutes or so drawing a carefully placed Cornucopia in the middle. I add the twenty-four wedges. One for each hour in a day. Twelve different scenarios, on two different places on the map. Then when I'm nearly finished, I realize that the Cornucopia's tail, the small end, is pointed to twelve o clock. I tell Katniss and she sees it too.

"Right, so this is the top of our clock. Twelve to one is the lightning zone."

I write the word "lightning" on the 12 am and the 12 pm parts of the circle. Then I add blood, fog, monkeys, then Katniss reminds me of the wave. So I add that as well. It's relieving to know that we are out of it's danger as long as we move cautiously. It's unnerving, because only 10 of the 24 slots are filled. 5 hours, in a 12 hour cycle. What are the other 7 dangers?

"Did you notice anything unusual in the others?" Katniss asks Johanna.

"No, just the blood." she says. Beetee adds, "I guess they could hold anything."

I draw some diagonal lines from the fog to the beach, because the fog follows us past the jungle. I tell Katniss that I'm doing this, so we can be sure not to make the mistake of crossing into one of those wedges again. I sit back and observe my map. "It's a lot more than we knew this morning." I say this more for my benefit. I'm still a little freaked out about what the other seven hours hold.

"Do you hear that?" Katniss asks. I listen. I don't hear anything. "The bird, it's-" Then the color in Katniss face drains. Only for a second. Then, she's got an arrow loaded and ready to go, and I turn towards whatever it is. I see Gloss, the male from 1, with a sinister smile on his face, having just slit Wiress' throat.

"Real clever," Johanna tells him. "Pick the weak one, coward!" She tells him, throwing an axe, he ducks, and it misses. But it hits Cashmere, his sister. And I know this was her plan all along. Kill his sister in front of him. Then I see a spear coming towards me.

Finnick saves my life again. I feel bad for being so helpless. I'm not really weak anymore, but I'd been sitting down with my map, I didn't have time to move really. Finnick knocked away the spear with his trident, but took Enobaria's knife in his leg. Yes, 1 and 2. I should have figured this out sooner. Whereever Gloss and Cashmere are, the more deadly tributes, Brutus and Enobaria, are close to them. Between Cashmere taking the axe in her chest and Finnick saving me, Johanna punctured Gloss with another axe. The two of them are alive, but lying on the ground. Enobaria and Brutus run around to the other side of the Cornucopia when they see Katniss' arrow. She chases them, along with Finnick and Johanna, and Beetee is trying to grieve for Wiress. BOOM! Two cannons go off. One of them is Wiress. But I don't have a chance to look and see if Gloss or Cashmere's death triggered the other cannon, because the world is spinning-literally.

I hear one final BOOM! While I'm being flung into the water.

I'm being flung into water and I can't swim. Before, I thought the fog would kill me, then the monkeys, but this right here must be it. I struggle for air as I'm flung underneath, but then something pokes my side. I don't know what it is, but if I'm dying anyway, might as well see. I grab onto it, and then I'm lifted up.

"Hold on!" Finnick yells. And he saved my life for the third time.

Once everything stops spinning, I grab onto the land and pull myself up out of the water while the rest of us do the same. Brutus and Enobaria are nowhere to be found, which is a good thing for them. They'd have to be stupid to take on Johanna, Finnick, and Katniss. I might be able to do some damage too, if I could just find my knife.

The three of them are okay, Wiress' body is gone, along with Gloss and Cashmere, but I don't know Beetee's condition. Johanna seems to notice as well, because while we're all getting to our feet and trying not to fall over because of the dizziness, she says, "Where's Volts?"

"There! I'll get him," Finnick says, after seeing him struggling to stay above the water. I have no idea how we're going to kill Finnick, when it comes down to that. I already owe him three of my lives. And he keeps doing things to make me like him more. How on earth could I kill someone who saved my life three times, as well as Beetee's life? Before the end of it all, he'll probably find a way to keep Katniss alive as well.

We'd be crazy to split our alliance with him. At least right now.

"Oh, shit, the wire," Katniss says, tossing her weapons to her side. "Cover me." She says. She runs and dives into the water, swimming fast as she can to reach Wiress, who she's spotted floating in the water. We see the hovercraft appear, and the claw descends. "Maybe it will pick up both of them and save us some time," Johanna says. I give her a look.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were Finnick."

"No, you didn't." She smiles.

"I know. It's just fun to mess with you." I don't aknowledge this, I just keep quiet.

Katniss manages to retrieve the wire and she swims back to us.

"Here's your wire, Beetee." Katniss says, putting it on his lap. He doesn't respond. She squats down in front of him, to meet him at eye-level, and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I would give anything to have caught them before they had the chance to-" she starts to stay, and stops herself. "She saved us though, with the clock." Beetee just nods his head.

Katniss stands back up. She makes eye contact with Finnick and then Johanna, then turns around and runs up to me, she wraps her arms around me, and squeezes tight. The amount of strength surprises me. "What are you doing?" I whisper. I'm not complaining, just shocked. Normally, I'm the one that hugs her. And even then, she gets all tense and weird about it.

"Appreciating that you're here."

Then we stay silent for awhile, until Johanna suggests we leave the island. I won't argue with that. Finnick strips off his shirt and ties it to his leg, to stop the bleeding, and Johanna leans towards me and says, "Isn't he just perfect?"

"You're kinda barking up the wrong tree," and we both laugh. It's a welcome joke this time.

Beetee is able to walk, so we start to leave. Finnick, Johanna, and I in front. But we all walk in different directions. I confirm, "Twelve o clock right? The tail points at twelve," I say, wondering why they've gone off in another direction.

"Before they spun us, I was judging by the sun." Finnick says.

"The sun only tells you it's going on four, Finnick," Katniss tells him. I'm glad she's got my side, even though it really shouldn't matter. I might be wrong. Beetee confirms Katniss' point, so I listen to him. He suggests that even though it's four o clock, it doesn't mean we know exactly where four o clock is in the arena. Katniss then nods and adds that any of the paths could point to twelve. Which basically means we're lost again.

Katniss is afraid that the Gamemakers confused everyone on purpose because we found out about the clock theory, but then Beetee tells her once we see the wave, which is very hard to miss, we'll be back on track. "Yeah, they won't redesign the whole arena." I say. Though I only half-believe it.

Johanna ends up choosing the path we take, but none of us knows what we're heading into. Katniss and I walk behind Johanna and Finnick, and Beetee walks between them and us. "Don't let her get to you," I tell her. She glares at me. "What makes you think I have?"

"I don't. I'm just saying. She's not how she seems."

"Oh? You mean she acts different with her clothes on?" I smile.

"No, that's not what I meant. Come on, you know that."

"Well?"

"She likes getting on your nerves."

"Apparently."

"No, she's like that with everyone. She likes to push people's buttons. Honestly, I'd be worried if she was nice to me, it meant she didn't respect me." Katniss doesn't respond.

I look at her. She senses it. "There you go again. Reading people. What's on my mind then?"

I pretend to examine her. I put a hand on her forehead, then shut my eyes and put my hands on each side of my head, making her laugh. "Effie's hair," I say, knowing it's really the only lighthearted and easy topics to bring up. We both laugh, but then I was wrong about it being easy, because it reminds us that we won't ever see that hair again.

"I hope she's doing okay."

"Me too."

I offer to go tap a tree once we get to the mainland, but Finnick offers to go. "At least let me watch your back," I say, but then Johanna shakes her head. "Katniss can do that. We need you to make another map, the other washed away.

Okay, now this doesn't make sense. Are they trying to keep us apart to kill us? No, I could take Johanna as long as she isn't packing a knife, but she doesn't have one on her and ready to go. Trees are Katniss' field of expertise, so if he tried to kill her she'd be up the tree in a minute and could shoot him and Johanna real easy from the top. That's not it.

Then, once Katniss and Finnick leave, Johanna sits down next to me, and watches me draw. That's another thing. We really don't need another map. How hard is it to remember that two is monkeys and ten is wave? Or the other events? There must be some other reason, and my suspicions are confirmed, when Johanna puts her hand over my map. "So, Peeta…"


	18. The Jabberjay

**A/N: Cashmere: Hayden Panettiere**

"I bet you're wondering why I'm on your side when you didn't choose to ally with me."

"Actually, yeah."

"You can thank your mentor for that."

"Haymitch? What did he say?"

"It's not so much what he said, we just have a prior agreement. Anyway, you'd be best to stick it out with us, just a little longer."

What does she mean, "we have a prior agreement?" Isn't that kind of implied? And why wasn't it our choice to choose our allies? Haymitch isn't in the Games, we are. I'm about to ask her to clarify, but then we hear a loud pitched scream. "What was that?" Johanna asks me.

At first I'm thinking it's another tribute, because the scream doesn't belong to Katniss. I've heard her screams at night when she has her nightmares. But the sound does sound familiar. "Is it Finnick?" Johanna glares at me. "That high pitched? No."

Then I hear Katniss scream, and it's very similar to the first one, but I still don't know who it belongs to. Still, Johanna and I get up and run towards Finnick and Katniss as soon as we hear her screams. Beetee is coming too, behind us, but he's limping.

We reach the edge of the forest, but they aren't anywhere to be seen, yet we can hear them, crystal clear. "Prim! Prim!"

The original scream belongs to Prim. Is she here? No, she can't be. But that must be her. Katniss screams Prim's name the way she did when Prim was drawn in the reaping last year. Only this time it's more alarmed. I push through a tree branch, running towards the sound, but I smack right into a wall. "What the hell?"

"It's another force field. They are trapped inside until the hour passes." Beetee tells me.

"So we have to just stand here?" Johanna asks.

"It's four thirty. They're halfway done," he says, trying to ease the worry, but it doesn't help.

"Do they know?"

"I don't know. I hope so. If not, they'll be chasing ghosts for an hour, it's enough to make you go crazy. What would you do if you heard your brother scream but you couldn't find him?" He asks me.

Well, I'd imagine I'd take off running towards him. If I couldn't him? I'd feel tortured. He's being hurt and I can't stop it. I'm failing him, I'm failing.

Johanna seems to be thinking about it too. She walks up to the force field and puts her hands against the glass watching for any sight of them, but there is none, at least not right now.

I have to find a way to keep myself distracted or I'll go crazy waiting for the hour that they're stuck to pass.

I sit down on the sand, with a stick. I draw out the map again, just like last time, but now I add "Screams?" to the four to five o clock wedge.

"Look! There they are!" At first I think Johanna is talking about Finnick and Katniss, but she points to a bird. "Mockingjays?" I ask her. They sound like Mockingjays, but they look different-they look fake. Like birds you'd see in a dream. They don't match the environment.

"No, Jabberjays. The original jabber jays."

I remember the first time my father told me about jabber jays.

"They're genetically engineered, Peeta. The Capitol used to send them out during the first rebellion to catch anyone speaking badly about the Capitol, or for rebel information."

After that I'd asked if they were gone, and my father assured me that the only thing he's seen for a long time, was a mocking jay, not a jabber jay. But they exist. Because here they are. Do they exist only in the arena? Or are there some hiding in the trees inside the districts? It'd be odd for no one to ever see one. But if not, how does the Capitol get all their information? Beetee brings me back to the present.

"They must be using jabber jays to trick Finnick and Katniss into thinking the screams are from people they know." He says, looking into the arena, his expression is blank.

I think I see something, and when I squint my eyes, I can make out Finnick, dodging trees, running frantically, and Katniss chasing him. They get closer, and now Johanna, Beetee, and I, are all tapping the force field, hoping to get their attention so that we can tell them that it's a trick.

When they finally see us, Katniss walks up to me slowly. I can't break the field. Desperately, I stab the thing over and over with my knife, but not even a scratch appears. She puts her hand onto the force field, up against mine, and the look in her eyes makes it so much harder for me to stand here and wait for five o clock to come. She looks up, around the arena, desperately wanting it all to just be over. I can't hear her, so she probably can't hear me, but still, I say, "It's just a trick. It's okay. It will be okay. Everything will be okay." And I just keep repeating the words, but she doesn't hear me.

By the end of the five o clock hour, Finnick and Katniss are both covering their ears, their eyes maddened, scared. Their minds trying to fight with themselves, as to what's real and what isn't. Katniss sits with her back to a tree, and Finnick lies in the fetal position on the ground.

Finally, the barrier dissolves, and I stick my arm through where it was, and when goes through, I sprint towards them.

Neither of them see the three of us coming to them, still upset and frantic. I put my hands on Katniss shoulders, but cautiously. I tell her, "Everything is okay, it's over now."

Does she still hear it? Her eyes are squeezed shut, her hands over her ears. I know she can't hear me, or maybe she doesn't want to, but I tell her, "Okay, I'm going to take you away from here, okay?" Then I nod to Beetee and Johanna.

Beetee and Johanna each take one of Finnick's arms, and Johanna says calm words to him until she can get him to stand. The two of them lead him out of the jungle, as I carry Katniss out.

She's slowly coming back to reality, because now that we're on the beach again, she drops her hands and opens her eyes, but she starts shaking, badly. I hold her tight to keep her from shaking. "Shh. Stop. It's okay. It wasn't real. You're here now, this is real." She keeps shaking. I look over at Johanna and Beetee, trying to tend to Finnick. He's not shaking, and he looks to be back to normal, but I can tell by the look on his face that he's still extremely disturbed by what he heard. Who did the jabber jays imitate to upset him so much?

"It's all right, Katniss," I continue, and she responds this time.

"You didn't hear them,"

"I heard Prim, right in the beginning. But it wasn't her. It was a jabber jay, Beetee told me."

"It was her. Somewhere. The jabber jay just recorded it."

This is why she and Finnick are so distraught. Not only did they have to be put through this, but they think the Capitol may have Prim and whoever else somewhere, torturing them, and recording it to play just for us.

To be completely honest, nothing the Capitol could do would surprise me anymore. I don't think they have Prim, but there's a small chance. Still, me telling her that it's possible would only hurt her. She needs to calm down, she has to go home.

But then I remember. The Capitol has always been about their Games. And in the final eight, the Capitol interviews friends and family. The Capitol won't change this. They don't change any part of their Games, because the crowd expects to see certain things every year. Plus, with all the commotion from the Capitol citizens over sending a "pregnant" girl into the arena, changing anything in any way might make everything worse for them.

Prim is most likely at home, safe. Watching Katniss and I on television. We're the ones in danger right now. And we both have to be thinking straight if one of us is going to go home. "No," I tell her. "That's what they want you to think. That wasn't Prim's voice, and if it was, they took it from an interview or something and distorted the sound. Made it say whatever she was saying."

"No," she insists. "They were torturing her. She's probably dead."

"Katniss, Prim isn't dead. How could they kill Prim? We're almost down to the final eight and what happens then?"

"Seven more of us die."

" What happens? At the final eight?"

"They interview your family and friends back home."

"That's right. And can they do that if they killed them all?"

"No," she says, but she's still trembling slightly, warding off tears.

"No, that's how we know Prim's alive. She'll be the first one they interview, won't she? Come on, the Capitol won't leave out the interviews, _especially _the ones with our family and friends." I hope she gets what I mean. They won't kill our families and friends, after what I said in the interview? No way. They'll want to know more.

She says nothing, but at least she's not shaking, so I go on. "First Prim. Then your mother. Your cousin Gale, Madge…it was a trick Katniss. A horrible one. But we're the only ones who can be hurt by it. We're the ones in the Games, not them. Not Prim."

"You really believe that?" She asks me.

"I really do."

Katniss looks at Finnick, and then I realize that I wasn't just talking to Katniss this entire time, because Beetee, Johanna, and Finnick were listening to. "Do you believe it, Finnick?" She asks him. "It could be true. I don't know. Could they do that Beetee? Take someone's regular voice and make it…" He struggles to find the rest of the words.

Beetee then says, "Oh, yes. It's not even that difficult. Our children learn a similar technique in school."

And I am so thankful for some kind of fact to back this up, because it makes me feel better as well.

Then what Johanna says next shocks me to the point that it sends a cold, hard, doomed chill up my back, making my hair stand on end. "Of course Peeta's right, The whole country adores Katniss' little sister. If they really killed her like this, they'd have an uprising on their hands." Then she throws her head back and shouts, "Don't want that, do they? Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want a thing like that!"

"Are you absolutely psychotic?" Katniss says, lower than a whisper.

"I'm getting water," Johanna tells us as she walks off. Katniss tries to warn her of the birds, probably having forgotten that they won't be there at this time. Johanna shakes her head, "They can't hurt me. There's no one left that I love."

I don't know what, but I feel I should do something. Her last sentence struck home. Probably because that's how I'd feel if I was the tribute going home this year. If I lost Katniss the way that Finnick lost whoever the jabber jays were imitating, or whoever Johanna loved that was taken away from her. I think back to last year, the girl from 4. She'd lost someone too. Because of the Capitol.

Johanna turns her head and leaves. And as I watch her leave, I'm afraid she won't come back. We're proof that the Capitol doesn't take too kindly to someone making a joke out of them.

But she does come back, and she hands Katniss a shell of water, then Katniss says thanks. That's the first friendly, or at least half decent gesture they've made towards each other this entire time.

Katniss and I are left alone again after Johanna goes back for more water. Finnick decides to swim, it must help him sort things out. Beetee messes with that wire thing, and I can tell he's in a whole other world when he's fiddling with stuff like that. The way Katniss is when she hunts, or the way I am when I'm baking.

"Who did they use against Finnick?" I ask her, curiosity having gotten the best of me.

"Somebody named Annie." She tells me, and then I make the connection.

I remember watching the tape of Finnick and Mags being reaped. Well, Finnick being reaped. Mags had volunteered for a younger girl, who looked about Finnick's age. Her name was Annie Cresta, I think the announcers said. Then they said that Annie won her Games four or five years ago.

"Must be Annie Cresta," I say, then tell her how I knew.

"I don't remember those Games much," Katniss tells me. Well, I don't either. I just remember watching the recaps on tv on the train before we got here. "Was that the earthquake year?" She adds.

But now I remember. The word "earthquake" brought back the memory of seeing her Games. The arena that year was mostly barren desert. There was a large lake, but it was up a huge, steep hill, and it was so hot, that only the Careers dared to climb up there. The rest of the tributes got their water by a dam that was built. Then, the earthquake caused damage, the dam burst, and Annie ended up winning. More details come back to me when I answer Katniss. "Yeah. Annie's the one who went mad when her district partner got beheaded. Ran off by herself and hid. But the earthquake broke a dam and the whole arena flooded. She won because she was the best swimmer."

"Did she get better after? I mean, her mind?" She asks me. She looks at me so hopefully, that I so badly want to say that yes, she did get better, and now lives happily ever after. But the truth is, I don't know, and I doubt it. I'm sure she's partially asking, because we're not the way we were before either. I get the feeling she's asking for us, as well. But I don't think we'll ever go back to being the pre- Hunger Games Katniss and Peeta.

"I don't know. I don't ever remember seeing her at the Games again. But she didn't look too stable during the reaping this year."

Our conversation is interrupted by a boom of the cannon.


	19. The Surge

**A/N: Plutarch Heavensbee: Alec Baldwin- I think he'd embrace the "Capitol Look" well. **

I look at my map, but it's not very well drawn. I'll have to make another one on a leaf or something. We all watch the six to seven o clock wedge, because that's where the hovercraft appears, carrying up pieces of one dismembered tribute.

"So I think we can all agree that no one is going anywhere near that wedge for any reason, yeah?" Johanna says. Everyone nods their heads, watching the hovercraft take off.

I find a leave near the entrance of the jungle, so I hop up to get it. Katniss grabs my arm. "Don't go in there."

"It isn't four o clock, Katniss. It's okay. The jabber jays aren't out. And I'm just going to pick up that leaf." I tell her. She lets me go, but watches me until I return.

I draw the letters JJ for Jabber jay, onto my new leaf map. Then I draw what we had for the other wedges, and in the six to seven o clock wedges, I write "Dismembered Corpse?" We will definitely follow Johanna's plan and not go anywhere near that one.

Katniss watches me draw for awhile. "I like your other drawings better."

"Which ones?"

"Of the plants and flowers, in the book you helped me illustrate. Your talent shouldn't be wasted in the arena." She says, which is true. I make sure no one can hear me when I say, "When you go home, all my paintings are yours." She doesn't respond. "I'm going for a swim." And she wades into the water.

"Peeta!" Finnick calls. "Come on in the water is great!" I scowl. He laughs as he wades out of the water and back onto shore. "I'm only kidding. Come help me though," he says.

He hands me three fish to carry back to camp, and while I stand there holding them, he spears five more. "Bet you haven't had a delicacy like this before huh?"

I want to tell him that I've had Katniss' kills, since my father sometimes bought from her, but the Capitol is listening. So I shake my head. "Looking forward to it."

Johanna got a fire going while Finnick and I brought the fish back. Katniss is already there, warming her hands over the fire, and Beetee is lying on his back, looking up at the night sky.

When the anthem plays, eight faces show in the sky. Eight. So in one day and a half, two thirds of the tributes are now dead. That leaves Katniss and I, Johanna and Finnick, and Beetee. Plus three more. They are, without a doubt, Enobaria and Brutus. And one more. I think back to the dining area in the training center. We all sat in a big circle. So I go around the circle in my head, mentally erasing all the ones who are already dead, and I discover that Chaff is the last one. We are the biggest group, there's no way Chaff is with the Careers, he's by himself.

I wasn't paying attention to the conversation until I heard someone ask who else was left, besides us and 2. "Chaff." I say.

I hear a familiar bell, and look to my left. Sure enough, a silver parachute lands on the ground close to my feet. But it's not for me. It's for Beetee. They're little rolls, and I recognize that they aren't from our District, or 4. "These are from your district, right Beetee?"

"Yes, they're from District 3. How many are there?"

Finnick leans over me and snaps up the box in his hand, opening it. He counts them out. "Twenty-four on the nose. How should we divide them?"

"Let's each have three, and whoever is alive at breakfast can take a vote on the rest." Johanna says, and Katniss laughs. Johanna and Katniss each exchange a friendly smile, which is relieving. The constant need to be at each other's throats puts us all on edge.

"I don't think we should make camp here," Beetee says.

"Probably not," Johanna adds.

Finnick suggests we wait until the wave recedes from the ten to eleven o clock section, that way we'll have a full twelve hours of safety. Everyone agrees to this, including me, but not being able to swim, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little apprehensive about it.

"I gotta talk to you," I tell Katniss.

"Okay. When they go to sleep. We really should take first watch anyway. Beetee's still pretty injured and I don't think Johanna's had a hardly any sleep since we got into the arena."

Katniss and I sit on the beach, our hips touching, but facing away from each other. That way, one of us can watch the jungle, and the other can watch the beach.

Finnick tosses and turns all night, and murmurs Annie's name in his sleep. It's sad. If, God forbid, Katniss and I both died, I'd hope that Finnick goes home.

We don't say anything for awhile. Partly because we're enjoying the peace. We're resting safely on land that will remain safe for twelve hours. Unless the Game makers decide they're bored. I find my opportunity when Katniss rests her head against my shoulder.

I run my fingers through her hair, and rest my head on top of hers. "Katniss," I say, as calmly as possible. I don't want to disturb the peace. But we're kidding ourselves by pretending we don't want different things. I want to get her out, and it's so very clear to me that she's trying to get me out. Haymitch lied. "It's no use pretending we don't know what the other is trying to do." She's silent.

"I don't know what kind of deal you think you've made with Haymitch, but you should know he made me promises as well. So I think we can assume he was lying to one of us."

She raises her head to meet my eyes. "Why are you saying this now?"

Because I love you. I can't say that though, not without her unconsciously becoming defensive. "Because I don't want you forgetting how different our circumstances are. If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District 12. You're my whole life. I would never be happy again." Okay, so I basically just said more than "I love you," but I know she knows how I feel. Maybe the word "love" just freaks her out, not the actual existence of it.

"Peeta, don't star-" I put a finger to her lips. "It's different for you," I say, "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but there are other people who would make your life worth living."

What I really mean by this, is "There is someone else who loves you the way I do." Her mother and sister, and my father and brother, would make our lives worth living. But I don't have a Gale. She does. She has someone who would stand by her side no matter what, and help her deal with the pain and the nightmares, and greet her with warmth, and open arms. She has someone who wants to marry her despite the fact that she's been through so many things that's caused her to put up walls.

This is when I decide to take out the locket. It belonged to my grandmother on my father's side. I'd put the pictures in myself. The pictures of Gale, Prim, and her mother. I thought maybe if I showed her the people she'd be going back to, she'd stop being so difficult and just go with it. Me going back makes less sense.

She sees the locket, but she's seen it before, when I told her that we'd match now. I hold it up so that the engraved mocking jay that I'd had put on there would shine in the moonlight. I pop open the locket and show her the pictures. "Your family needs you, Katniss." I tell her. She gently takes the locket and gazes over the pictures. She looks at me. I don't know if she's speechless or if she's waiting for me to say something else. So I tell her the truth, I tell her exactly what I'm thinking. "No one needs me."

And it's not for sympathy, and it's not for reassurance. It's just true. No one does. Sure, my father and brother care about me a lot, but, really, they'd go on without me. Prim, her mother, and Gale though? Gale would be so distraught without her. I don't know if her mother would go back into the same funk that she did when Katniss' dad died. And I couldn't let Katniss get taken away from Prim. I mean, it's Prim.

What happens next I don't expect. I expect her to say that my family needs me too. Or I expect her to look away and change the subject, but she doesn't. For the first time ever, part of the wall she's kept up becomes transparent, when she tells me, "I do. I need you."

At first I'm happy she says it, but then I can't allow that. I can't allow myself to enjoy it, because, in the end, it doesn't matter how she feels about me. We won't ever have that. We won't ever have that happiness. Only one of us will leave this arena this time, and no matter how much I wish it weren't true, there's no way to trick the Capitol into letting both of us leave. Not this time. And it has to be her that comes out. Not me. So I can't allow what she just said to work. I take a deep breath and prepare to tell her that the conversation is over, and that she'd be the one to leave whether she liked it or not. I anticipate what will be an extremely long argument. But that's not what happens.

Before I finish drawing my breath, she kisses me. She leans into me so that I fall back, and then I'm lying on my back in the sand, with her on top of me. And this isn't just a light kiss like we've been sharing in front of the cameras. No, this is a full blown passionate kiss. I want to make myself stop. I want to sit back up and ask her not to do that again, because it will just make it that much harder to accept the fact that I will die and she will live, back in District 12, with her "Cousin" Gale.

But then, why should I? I'm going to die here, probably within the next day or two. Why should I deny myself that last bit of happiness? Maybe because it might not be real. So I stop for a second. "Is this real?"

She doesn't take her lips off mine as she nods her head to tell me yes. "But-" I start to say. Then she stops for a second and tells me "Damnit Peeta stop thinking so much," and before she's had a chance to catch her breath, she kisses me again.

I'm now paying attention to the electricity that started in my lips and has now radiated throughout my entire body. I feel this every time, but it's only been this strong once, in the cave, the second time she kissed me. The time when her head cut started to bleed. She told me back on the train, that the second kiss was not for the cameras. So that reassures me that this is completely real. But this time, there's no head wound to stop us. So the longer we kiss, the stronger the electricity runs, until it turns into a fire, surging in my veins.

Then, all of a sudden, the only people that exists are me and her. My mind blocks out the incredible hell of a situation we're in, and instead, places us alone, in the meadow back in 12. With dandelions swaying in the breeze.

I realize that I can't feel my heart beating, I can't feel myself breathe, yet, I'm more alive than ever. "I feel weird," I tell her.

"Me too." She says, but she doesn't stop.

"You didn't eat much of your fish," I tell her, "Maybe you should eat more," I Tell her. I'm hoping that she'll say no, because I'm enjoying this so much and it's probably the only kiss I'll have the rest of my life, considering my life isn't going to be very long.

"I don't think that's what it is," she says, laughing a little bit, before she locks lips with me again. Then what is it?

I don't get a chance to find out, because lightning burts and thunder cracks in the distance, making us jump, and waking Finnick.

"I can't sleep anymore," Finnick says, "one of you should rest." Then he notices how we look. We're still locked in an embrace. Slightly out of breath. Then he suggests we both go to sleep. But there's no way. Two people have to be up. We're who 2 is going to be targeting now. We have to watch the jungle and the beach. So I offer to stay up with him.

"It's too dangerous. I'm not tired, you lie down, Katniss." I tell her, and surprisingly, she doesn't object. Good, she needs to sleep.

For the cameras, I place my hand on her, where our baby would be, had that been true. But, that's for the cameras. What I tell her, is a request, but I don't know if she'll catch it, or listen. "You're going to make a great mother, you know." I tell her, kissing her again. I go straight over to Finnick, hoping that what I said will get her to think. I hope she knows that I meant she should let me or the Capitol or anyone else stop her from being happy once she's home.

"So, what was that?" Finnick asks me.

"She kissed me."

"Well, that's a strange turn of events. Aren't you usually the pursuer?" Finnick asks, and I laugh.

"I'm not complaining."

"Well, I wouldn't either," He tells me.

"Are you okay? You were moving around a lot in your sleep."

"Fine. Just don't want to go into it, okay?" I shrug.

I want to know more about Annie, but I know that's a sore spot and he doesn't want to talk about it. And bringing her up will only make me feel worse about the fact that he will die also. So we settle for talking about light subjects, ones that won't bring up pain, loss, or hopelessness. He tells me a lot about swimming, then tells me I really should learn someday. Which confuses me, because obviously I won't be able to do that, but he's probably just in a good place, maybe he's forgotten about the situation we're in just for a moment, and I don't want to bring him back into it.

Then, he catches me looking at Beetee's wire. "It doesn't do much, that little wire coil. Wonder why he messes with it so much," I say. Finnick tells me, "He said he was going to figure out some kind of trap for the Careers with it. Using that and the tree that gets hit with lightning every so often."

That's interesting. Beetee's just as smart as Wiress.

In the morning, we receive another parachute, with some more bread from Beetee's district. "They must really like you over there, Beetee," I tell him.

"Thirty three rolls all together. We'll have eight left," Johanna says, but no one responds.

Katniss takes my hand after everyone finishes eating, and pulls me away from the group. I find myself hoping that she'll kiss me again, but after making zero eye contact with me at breakfast, that's probably not what this is. We get into the water and she tells me she'll teach me to swim. But she doesn't have me take my belt off-the belt on the jumpsuit that is designed to keep me afloat. Maybe she wants me to get the feel of it first. But then, suddenly, after swimming awhile, she says "Look, the pool is down to eight. I think it's time we took off."

I have to admit, I'm considering it. But part of me wants to stay, and I can't figure out why. In all honesty, it would be smart to leave now. What if Brutus and Enobaria got caught in a trap and both died? If our group heard two cannons go off, I'm sure we'd be fighting each other immediately. And then the victor of the five of us would probably go after Chaff alone.

Then again, Beetee's trap to kill the other two makes me want to stick around, plus what Johanna told me outside the jungle before the jabber jay thing. I've got no reason to trust Johanna. But for some reason, I the side of me that thinks we should stay, is winning. So I tell Katniss, "Tell you what, let's stick around until Brutus and Enobaria are dead. I think Beetee's trying to put together some kind of trap for them now. Then, I promise, we'll go."

"All right. We'll stay until the Careers are dead. But that's the end of it." I'm fine with this agreement. She waves to Finnick and tells him she knows how to make him pretty again, waving him over. I raise an eyebrow. "The water is working with the ointment to get our skin back to it's natural color."

"Oh."

The water takes off the scabs that the ointment caused our bodies to form. So now, we've got pink patches where our wounds were. It's amazing to me how fast Capitol medicines work. At home, at the apothecary, or Katniss' mom, it would take at least a week for wounds like this to heal to this point.

Once we're back at camp, Beetee gets straight to the point: Kill the Careers. He helps us all figure out that the Careers will be on the edge of the jungle, away from the dangers of the inner part of the jungle, but also away from the beach, where we are. It's the smartest place to be. He tells us about the trap he's got planned to set for them. I have to admit, it's genius. I never would have thought a little old wire could do so much damage.

He'll run the wire from the lightning tree to the beach. We'll be safe in the jungle, well, at least safer than being on the beach, and they'll be on the beach, electrocuted. I ask him if the wire will be able to conduct that much electricity. He assures us that the wire will do just what he wants it to do.

"And where will we be when all this happens?" Finnick asks.

"Far enough in the jungle to be safe."

"The careers will be safe, too, then, unless they're in the vicinity of the water," Katniss tells him.

"That's right." Beetee confirms.

They probably will be in beach or in the water, but if they aren't at least it will deplete the ocean as their food source. We know what we can and what we can't eat in the jungle, the Careers probably don't. Survival skills aren't taught in their special academies. Only weaponry. So I happen to like this plan.

Beetee says all of us will have to agree if we do this. Katniss is the first to speak. "Why not? If it fails, no harm done. If it works, there's a decent chance we'll kill them. And even if we don't and just kill the seafood, Brutus and Enobaria lose it as a food source, too."

"Katniss is right. I say we try it." I say.

Finnick agrees, and when he looks at Johanna, she goes along with it too. "It's better than hunting them down in the jungle anyway," she says.

We have to go up and scope out the tree. Beetee wants to examine it before he sets the trap later on. So we pack up camp and start the slow climb to the top of the slope, to the tree. Beetee is still pretty weak, so I offer to carry him, he's a small guy, anyway. When my arms get tired, Finnick takes him, and we trade off.

Now that we're away from the ocean air, I feel the intense humidity that I felt the first day here. The heavy air. By the time we get there, everyone is exhausted and thirsty again.

Katniss goes first, because Finnick explains to Beetee about how she can hear the hum of the force field with the ear that the Capitol reconstructed. Once we're at the tree, we split up. Katniss hunts and I hunt the nuts Mags ate when we first got here. Johanna taps for water, and Finnick guards Beetee while he examines his tree.

Beetee is still messing with his wire and the tree, and Johanna isn't back yet, but Katniss returns with some meat about the same time I return with the nuts I gathered. She puts a hand in front of me. "Wait." She draws a line in the sand, "Stay behind this," She says, jokingly.

"I'll be sure to do that."

We sear rat cubes on the force field, and roast the nuts on it. At one point, we see a piece of bark hit the force field and bounce back off, glowing, to which Beetee says, "That explains a lot." Katniss bites her lip and looks at me. I have no idea what he's talking about, and she's trying to keep from laughing because neither does she.

We all agree to leave, about an hour before the lightning starts, because the sound of buzzing insects in one of the wedges is unnerving.

After testing the tree, we go back to the camp we were at before. Now, we just have to wait. We decide to get some seafood while we still can. So Finnick spears some fish, while I stick to the shallow depths and gather some oysters.

After prying open one of the oysters, I find a pearl. It's about the size of a pea. It's small, but perfect. Delicately made, and rare. A pearl would sell for so much in District 12, if people could actually afford to buy one. I tell Finnick that if you press hard enough, coal turns to pearl. He scowls and gives me a stupid look and says, "No, it doesn't." I laugh because I think he thinks I was serious. Really, I meant it as a joke, poking fun at something Effie said last year. I'm relieved when Katniss laughs. She got the joke.

I rinse off the pearl and hold it out to Katniss. "For you."

She tells me "Thanks" as she closes her fist around it. She's looking into my eyes, and I realize that we never figured out what we were talking about last night. About her going home. I don't think I convinced her at all. "The locket didn't work, did it?"

"It worked."

"But not the way I wanted it to." Then I look back at the oysters, and pick one up, to give my hands something to do.

It gets dark. She grabs hold of my hand, and we lie on the ground on our backs, looking into the night sky. And then the anthem plays. After it's over, I know Beetee will give the signal soon. She moves her head, to face me. "I love the pearl."

"I wish I could give you a world where there are no Hunger Games, no Capitol, and no starvation." I tell her.

She laughs. "Well, thank you. But the pearl will do just fine."

And I want to kiss her again, but then Beetee is standing over us. "Time to go."


	20. The Burst

**A/N: Beetee: Hank Azaria**

"I shouldn't have had so many oysters," Katniss says.

"The climb really is much more exhausting now that we've eaten," I say, while the five of us walk back up the hill to prepare to set the trap.

"Quit your bitching," Johanna tells us, huffing and puffing just as much as we are.

Once we reach the top, Beetee examines his tree one more time, with Finnick and me cautiously watching our surroundings-who knows where Chaff is.

"Johanna and Katniss are quick, so they should be the ones to take the wire back down to the beach." Beetee says, looking at the two girls.

"How should we go about it?" Johanna asks him.

"Wind the wire through some of the trees, under some brush, in some bushes, and take it all the way down to the beach. Run it across the sand, burying it just under the surface. Then, with what's left on the spool, sink it. In at least three feet of water."

Katniss and Johanna nod, before Beetee hands the spool to Katniss. "I want to go with them as a guard." I say. But Beetee tells me "You're too slow. Besides, I'll need you on this end. Katniss will guard."

I think he senses that I'm about to debate him on it, so he says, "There's no time to debate this, I'm sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now." Well, I guess I can't argue with that. I don't really feel comfortable letting them go alone, though Johanna and Katniss are probably harder targets for the Careers than Finnick and I. I just still don't feel right about it. But, what choice do I have? I nod, reluctantly.

Katniss leans towards me and whispers in my ear. "I don't like this anymore than you. Johanna might try to chop off my head on the way down." This is meant to be a joke, I'd assume, but I don't find it very funny since I wouldn't put a thing like that past her.

I give her a worried look. "It's okay" she says, "We'll drop the coil and come straight back up." Beetee then reminds her not to come up in the lightning zone, they'll have to avoid this wedge of the map. He tells them to head to the tree in the one to two o clock sector. I swallow hard, and she must notice. She takes my face in both her hands. "Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight." She tells me, before kissing me again. Once she pulls away, I don't have a chance to respond. She asks Johanna if she's ready, to which Johanna nods and the two of them are at the edge of the jungle in the blink of an eye.

"Now, I'm going to wire the tree. Which one of you is the best climber?" Beetee asks. Finnick and I both look at each other, shrug, and say, "Katniss." Beetee smiles. "I know, but she's already got a job. I need one of you to climb up to wrap the wire around the tree. It has to go to the very top, so that we can be sure the lightning bolt will strike the wire at least once when it hits the tree."

Ultimately, Finnick decides to do the climbing since he's good with rope and he can use it to help him make the climb. Beetee watches him, directing him onto which branches he wants the wire, how tightly wound the wire should be, and telling Finnick occasionally how much time he's got left.

My job, first was to go the edge of the jungle to find some vine, a lot of it. Once I returned, before Finnick started the climb, we fastened him to the vine. Now that Finnick is more than half way up the tree, should he fall, I'd be able to lower him down safely, as I've got the other end of the vine, and my strength can support his weight. Should the lightning appear to come early, or should we run out of time, Finnick will need to jump, and I can lower him down safely in that case as well.

While I stand here holding the vine, I'm also watching the jungle. Partly, because Beetee told me to keep a watchful eye out for Brutus, Enobaria, and Chaff, just in case. But I'm also watching for Johanna and Katniss' return. I get slightly more worried the more time goes by, and I have to remind myself that it's a long hike back up, so there's no way they'd be here yet, they might not even be at the bottom of the hill yet.

But then it happens. I feel the rope become heavy, signaling that Finnick has jumped, or fallen, or something. I turn around, away from the jungle and look at the tree. I don't have much time to register the look on their faces, but I catch a glimpse of urgency with Finnick's and a sense of calm in Beetee's. I hold the rope tight and lower Finnick the rest of the way safely. When he's safely on ground, Beetee waves me over, but then I notice the wire.

The wire, the one that Katniss and Johanna were supposed to take downhill, has gone slack. The wire has been cut. Finnick walks slowly towards me. "What's going on?" I demand. "Someone cut the wire, listen Peeta, just stay calm, and-"

"NO! Did you know about this? How could I stay calm!"

"Peeta-" Beetee begins.

"You too? You were all supposed to be our allies! What's happened to them?" I persist. None of them answer. Finnick gets close enough to me to reach my knife. Is he going to kill me? Have he and Beetee become a new alliance? Maybe Beetee and Finnick had Johanna and Katniss go so that Johanna could kill Katniss and they could kill me. But they won't have the chance. Finnick doesn't hurt me, though. I don't give him the chance.

Because in the thirty seconds it took from lowering Finnick to noticing the wire, to Finnick taking my knife, I've taken off, into the jungle.

"Katniss!" I call out, "Katniss!"

Frantically, I run, to where, I don't know. I don't think, I just run. I have to find them, I think. But then I don't know if I can trust Johanna any longer, so I have to make my priority finding Katniss, until the two of us can piece together exactly what's going on.

Every second I'm racing I'm anticipating the sound of the cannon that signals the end of a life. If one went off, the chances of it being Katniss' cannon are one in seven. Those are rather good odds, but the odds have never been in our favor before.

I hear clicking and register that I'm in the wedge with the insects. Good thing the lightning hasn't struck yet, because until it does, I'm in no danger in the insect wedge of the clock. But then I hear something worse- a cannon.

Is it Chaff? Brutus? Enobaria? Katniss? No, I don't think so. I remember Finnick pulling my knife. He wanted it for a reason. At first, I thought it was to kill me, but in all honesty, he's faster than I am, and he could have chased me and killed me by now, if that's what he wanted. But he _did _want that knife. What for? I'd have seen him if he'd gone after Katniss or Johanna, because I'm running in the direction they went.

He doesn't know where Brutus, Chaff, or Enobaria is. Was he planning to kill Beetee? Beetee and I were the only tributes in his area, and he didn't chase me… I don't know. None of this makes sense. The only thing I know right now, is that I have to find her.

I don't know how I've kept up running this long, because my body is so drained when I reach the beach that I vomit up all the seafood we ate earlier before my knees give out and I hit the ground. My face slams into the sand, and I close my eyes, exhausted, but I can't allow myself to rest. I force myself to get back up. I have one goal. I have to find Katniss, I have to keep her alive.

Once I make myself stand up, I allow myself two deep breaths before stumbling back up the hill, in the wedge that Beetee instructed them to come back up in. Katniss is smart, if someone cut the wire, she'd immediately know it was probably Brutus and Enobaria, and run back to base. I pray that she'll be there.

All I hear while trying to get back up the hill, are the sounds of insects and nocturnal birds. Crickets, sometimes. I start to think about the cannon again, like who it belonged to. I look up, but there's no hovercraft. Maybe the game makers are waiting on one or more deaths before they send it in. It wouldn't make sense to pick up a body when there's a chance it will just have to come right back to get another, or more.

That means that, for sure, there is one dead tribute, and at least one tribute is injured to the point of imminent death. I'm scared now, thinking it's Katniss and Johanna. But then I see her.

"Katniss!" I Scream to her. She's at the top of the hill, dangerously close to the force field. She's kneeling over a body, but I can't see who it is. Or if they're alive or not. They don't seem to be putting up a fight, though. "Katniss!" I Scream again, and this time she hears me.

"Peeta! Peeta! I'm here! Peeta!" She screams back. That's a relief, she's not dead.

If I can just get to her… if she's injured, maybe it can be fixed? I just have to get to her…

Then I hear footsteps. Two sets of footsteps, running towards the tree, they're coming from my right. I dive into a bush, and the two of them run right by me- Finnick and Enobaria.

That jerk. He worked so hard to earn our trust then went behind our backs to join the Careers at the last minute. Coward, I think to myself. But then, where's Brutus? Katniss and I are alive. Enobaria and Finnick are alive. That leaves Beetee, Johanna, Brutus, and Chaff. The cannon belongs to one of them, and I'm afraid to find out who.

Katniss raises her bow, and she readies an arrow. She keeps it steady until Enobaria and Finnick stop at the lightning tree. I don't know what they plan to do, but they won't have time, because Katniss' arrow is aimed at them, and she won't miss.

The body below Katniss moves suddenly, and because I don't know who it is, I'm afraid they might hurt her, so I yell, "Katniss!" Once more. She drops her bow, but she doesn't look my way. Did she hear me? Enobaria and Finnick didn't hear me call out to her, thank God. They're still by the tree.

But Katniss doesn't raise her bow at them again, instead, she raises it towards the sky, at nothing in particular. What is she doing? Enobaria and Finnick are one arrow away from no longer being a threat to us.

The lightning strikes the tree, and the entire roof of the arena is glowing blue, only then do I notice the arrow has left Katniss' bow. I watch the arrow fly up to the top of the arena, already glowing blue from being electrified by the wire. I don't have much time to process this information before I'm blown back by the incredible force.

The impact of the arrow hitting the electrified force field caused a string of massive explosions. All around me, there are plants being unearthed, trees falling, animals fleeing, and I'm weightless. My body flying through the air, until my back hit's a tree and I hear and feel a snap in my spine, before I shut my eyes and I'm gone.


	21. The Arrival

**A/N: After some careful consideration, I've decided to go ahead and write Mockingjay in Peeta's POV. But going into it, it's going to be much harder so my updates won't be as frequent. **

**As we all know, Peeta goes through a series of hallucinations forced on him by the Capitol. I intend to show a lot of these hallucinations in my version of Mockingjay. There are the ones that Suzanne Collins mentioned- Katniss being a mut, her trying to kill him several times- but it's implied that those hallucinations were only the tip of the iceberg. **

**I thought it might be fun for you all to help me write that part of this story- the hallucinations. Like, send me your idea of a possible hallucination and I might add it. If I do, I'll credit you in the top of the chapter. **

**And with that, I give you the conclusion of Catching Fire:**

Tubes. Machines. Fluids and I.V's. My first question is: Am I dead?

I faintly remember my spinal cord snapping when I hit the tree in the arena. And this memory brings forward a slew of new questions.

What happened to the arena?

What happened to Katniss?

What happened to the other tributes?

Where am I?

My vision is foggy, but I look around the room I'm in. It's a small, square room. There are two flourescent lights in the center of the roof. The floor is tile. I'm hooked up to too many machines to count. I'm pinned down in my bed by straps. There's a strap around each of my wrists and ankles, one around my chest, and one across my forehead. I couldn't move if I wanted to. But I don't want to. I'm confused, I'm dehydrated, hungry, and tired. But mostly, I'm in more pain than I've been in ever, in my entire life.

I don't know how or why I left the arena, but whatever is going on, I wish I would have just been left to die in peace. I resolved to die last year, then again when I found out I'd be going back into the arena. I've been as close to death as possible countless times, and yet, here I am. But where is here?

I don't allow myself to think anymore. I feel sleep coming again, and I welcome it, hoping that I won't wake back up this time.

But I do. Each time I fall asleep and wake up again, my vision is less blurry but my pain is more severe. I want to scream but I find I can't. I can't move my jaw. I look down at my fingers. When I try to move them, nothing happens. Then I realized that my eyes are the only part of my body that can move. Other than them, I'm completely paralyzed. I couldn't scream if I needed to. I can't eat or drink anything. I can't call for help. But I don't know who "Help" is at this point, and I sure as hell can't trust anyone anymore. The only person I'd trust would be Katniss, or maybe Haymitch. But somehow I get the feeling they aren't here with me.

I don't have any way to measure the time. There's no windows in this room, so I can't watch the sun or the moon move across the sky, signaling a new day. I keep falling asleep and waking up. Months could have gone by, or just a few hours, I'd have no way to know. But it must be less than three days, because I haven't had anything to drink. I won't survive more than three days with no water. But really, I don't know how I'm alive now, after snapping my spine in half. Maybe I'm not alive. And this- this constant sleep wake cycle, with no sustenance and no companionship, maybe this is my own personal version of hell.

Once, though, I wake up and see a familiar face: Effie.

"Peeta," she says, standing over me, stroking my cheek with the back of her hand, the way a mother would. She says nothing else. I have tons of questions but no way to ask them. She doesn't sense my confusion, though. She just calls for a nurse. The nurse comes in and asks Effie to step out while she tends to me.

The nurse refills the bags that drip into the I.V's attached to me. "Your food and water," she tells me, while finishing replacing the bags. She then records my vital signs on a chart and leaves the room. But Effie doesn't come back in.

So for all I know, a year could have gone by with me in this state. If I'd been given food and water, and they had a breathing machine hooked up to me, they could have kept me alive. There are a lot of things about my current situation that are making me extremely uncomfortable. But the worst thing is that I've got no sense of time.

As time goes by, my vision becomes clearer and clearer, until one time, I wake up and it's crystal clear. The pain I'm in becomes more bearable each time I wake up. And eventually, I'm able to move my fingers and toes.

More time passes, and the only face I see is of the nurse that's been taking care of me. My throat is dry from going so long without moisture, so my voice is raspy and light, barely audible, but at least I can finally _speak_. At first, the words sound muffled, but I clear my throat and repeat myself. "Where am I?"

The nurse understands me on the second attempt. She quits recording my vitals, stands up, and walks out the door. A few moments later, Effie comes in. She pulls up a chair and sits by my side. "Hello Peeta, how are you feeling?"

"Like crap. Where's Katniss?" Effie bites her bottom lip and looks away from me. "Where's Katniss?" I ask, with a less pleasant tone.

"She's alive." Is all she says.

"How?" Effie takes a few moments before telling me, "I can't say. You'll have to wait for him."

"Him?" I ask. She gasps.

"I've said too much, I'm sorry Peeta, I have to go."

I watch in silence as Effie hurries out of the room, leaving me here alone again.

The next time I wake up, I'm no longer in the room I was in. I'm in a study somewhere. In front of me, a huge glass window overlooks the stage in the Capitol that Katniss and I have been on one too many times. The stadium that holds the tribute parade is just below that stage. And out the window, I can see the luxurious buildings of the Capitol. And now I know where I am. That's one question.

In front of me, before the window, sits a desk, made so delicately, and carved so beautifully.

The carpet is red, and the furniture is laced in gold. Overall, a beautiful looking room. But I can't enjoy it. Because I know where I am. But I have no idea why.

I hear a door shut behind me, and an Avox comes in carrying a platter of different cheeses and a bottle of wine. The girl sets the platter down on the desk. And puts the wine in a bucket of ice. She sees me then, and walks over to me, giving me a saddened look while placing a hand on my shoulder. Then she's gone.

I then take notice of what position I'm in. I'm sitting in a wooden chair. My feet are tied together, and my hands are tied together behind the back of the chair. I've got a blindfold wrapped around my mouth, tied to the back of my head. I can move my neck, but it's sore.

The door opens again. It makes a creaking sound that I didn't hear before, when the Avox came in. It clicks shut slowly. I hear heavy footsteps behind me. Then I feel a presence standing directly behind me, but being tied to the chair, I can't look. Whoever it is, comes closer, and breathes hot air. The air around me smells like roses and blood. What a combination…

I feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Then the feeling spreads throughout my body. The hair on my back, arms, and legs stands straight up, as my body convulses with chills. This can only be one person.

Then, I see him come around from the back of the chair. He sits in his chair behind his desk. He turns to face me, and rests his elbows on his desk, folding his hands. He dabs his mouth with a handkerchief, why? I don't know. He folds it neatly, and he says nothing. He acts as if we've got all the time in the world. Like he controls time. It's not a far-fetched concept for him apparently, he already controls everything else.

He looks me dead in the eyes. And his voice sends terror throughout my body. I can't breathe. My heart stops. I can't move. I just sit here, staring into his eyes. Staring into the eyes of a deadly, poisonous snake, right before it sinks its teeth into your neck. Then he says, "Hello, Peeta. And welcome to my mansion."

The nameplate on the desk reads, "President Snow."


End file.
